Golf, a horror story

It started when I was nine. I was playing put-put with my family, and they were winning. Granted I was the youngest, but I didn’t think of such things at the time. It was then that I made the biggest mistake of my life. I vowed that I’d be the best golfer in all the world... That would show them! At the exact moment I made that decision lightning flashed in the distance. We went home. The next day I spent all of my money on a golf club and some balls. I only bought a driver, I could not purchase the full set. Then I literally dragged my parents out to the golf course, day after day. Slowly I stopped talking to friends, all I would do is play golf, practice golf, and dream golf. I won a few tournaments, and my parents saw that I seemed to be acquiring great skill for the sport. They bought me a pristine set of clubs, which kept me training ever harder. Many a time I decided to quit, but a voice in the back of my head reminded me of my vow. Then, one day, I learned the horrible truth. It was one of those times that I had quit. I walked to my friend Tom's house, I wanted to play with a real friend, and not another golfer kid. But when I knocked on the door something was wrong, Tom was still there, but he was different... Older.
"Who are you?" He asked.
I ran away in horror. I then realized that life had left me.
"WHY!?" I yelled at the sky.
"I'm down here stupid" Said a voice beneath my feet.
"What?"
"I'm down here, god is up there!"
"Oh, hello satan"
"In answer to your question, do I need a reason? I invented the sport to trap people such as yourself"
"Oh" I said, feeling thoroughly defeated.
I knew then that I could not leave the sport. It had me wholly. There was nothing I could do anymore but play golf. I won many a title but still I Wasn’t happy, for I had missed a life that I would have truly enjoyed. A life with friends, a life with family, now I had no chance at that. Golf was my life. And I had an awful life, just as golf is an awful sport. Years from now I shall die, with nobody by my side, a golf club in my hand, and in hell I shall play golf for eternity, never ceasing. That is the inevitable fate of the golfer. I had definitely picked the wrong path for my life, really all we do is look for some eventual goal. I was one of the few who had succeeded. But I had also failed at everything that mattered.

This was a cautionary tale. Keep in your head every time you go out to have a friendly game of golf, you are ruining a perfectly good walk!