A Ruined Knight in Camealot

A ruined Knight in Camealot

"Come on, people. Gather round Camealot castle... come to the sale. There’s fine English Ale for just six pence a tankard. Legs of mutton and of pork... selling today for only a penny. Come along, boys. There’s much more to see. There’s the magical chastity belt Queen Gywenafrei had worn. Do you not know the story? Do you all want to hear? Give me six pence then... I’ll tell you the start. The lady in the blue dress... God bless you. Thank you for being so kind."

"The King you see, had had it made, and by a man known as a great conjuror of magic. They called him Merlyn me thinks, Merlyn the magician. Now, Merlyn’s belt had a magical lock. There was no key for the large keyhole; it hadn’t been made. The keyway concealed... a razor-sharp blade. The lock could be opened and closed with a whisper... but only the king could say the conjuror’s words to the lock. The belt had protected the queen’s virtue whilst the king fought in wars and bedded whores. For many a night Gywenafrei had kept her virtue intact. Can anyone give me two shillings for a nicely fattened swine? What a great crowd. Not even a penny?"

"Hurry up and get on with it you great git. I know that part. How does the story end?"

"Sire, I beg your pardon for my digression. Have you ever wondered why so many of the queen's men are missing a finger? How Sir Lancesalot lost his tongue and... Your Grace, give me a gold crown and I will tell you the knight's tale."

"I am Gywenafrei, your Queen," said the lady in the blue dress. "I shall pay your gold crown, Jester."

"Majesty, I value my head. Let's leave it at that."

323 words.