Skateboarding with Chimpanzees

Nothing in the world drives me nuts like people who describe themselves as "crazy".

You are not fucking "crazy", you just aren't. I'm sorry.

How do I know?

Well, you know what's crazy? Jumping off a bridge naked in broad daylight and making it alive! You know what else? Skateboarding at 4 am in the morning... with a cross-eyed chimpanzee!

Or stripping for the elderly on a Christmas night in Madagascar... while pregnant! Or maybe having sex with a dolphin... for free!

You ever smoked weed with a gay penguin? or impressed your dad with something you did?

The list goes on...

You know what's not on it though? Your lame ass sleepover with your "best-friends-forever" or even the lame ass party you went to where you got trashed and made out with some lowlife piece of shit.

You know how many fucking sluts do that every day?

So, please... for the love of God! Take a deep breath and accept that you probably are, like the rest of us, quite boring! :)