Conversations with Papa John

It's almost midnight and I wonder where you are
I sit on my porch in my rocking chair
Watching the moon rise above the trees
Traces of honeysuckle, jasmine and magnolia
Fill the air and disturb the memories of you
This is the time when you and I would sit together
Waiting for that moon to rise
And the deer to come eat your collards in the garden
A comforting silence interrupted our lively chatter
A pot of coffee and a pack of cigarettes
Here I am now with both, waiting...

Remembering how patiently you would listen
To my farfetched ideas, laughing and shaking your head
That deep Southern drawl reminding me of where I come from
And we'd exchange stories of our lives, people we know
Compare our beliefs and shrug off the differences
Each night trying to make up for all those lost years
Pretending to be unaware of the inevitable
But I understood what the tears you tried to hide meant.

So, now I sit here wondering where you are
If you are happy and feeling better
There's so much I want to share with you
Like, I got into Oxford, my dogs are a year old
I remodeled the whole house, Eric is in college
And sometimes I swear I hear your deep voice
"Babydoll, where's my hug?"

It's been almost two years now since you've left
And, on nights like tonight, I know you're with me
Comforting, yes, but my heart still hurts
And I just want to say -
I love you, daddy, and I'm sorry we ran out of time.