No Hard Feelings

No Hard Feelings.



It was raining on the day I first met him.

As I walked towards the chiropractic clinic where I had worked since I got my degree, the rain was bouncing off my new yellow umbrella. I held it down low over my head and stared at my feet as I tried to avoid the puddles that had already collected on the uneven pavement.

I was thinking about what to have for dinner that night. There wasn’t much in the house, somehow I just couldn’t get organised enough to get some groceries in. My job kept me busy and most evenings I picked up a takeaway on the way home. It was a lot easier but I needed to sort myself out, make a routine and start to eat more healthily. It’s true I was putting on a bit of weight but that wasn’t a bad thing. At five foot two inches and underweight, my patients were always surprised on first meeting me. I suppose they couldn’t imagine how a little thing like me could do my job. Sparrow, my father used to call me, but I was very good at my job and could ‘see’ how muscles and tendons and bones were all interrelated and I just knew how to move them around to relieve any sort of muscle pain.

That’s how I first met Rob, no, he wasn’t a patient. He worked in the pizza place quite close to my flat.  He used to poke fun at my choice of pizza topping, said that no one else would choose to put both anchovies and pineapple on a pizza. I never told him that I picked the anchovies off to give to Lucifer, and the pineapple was a small gesture toward a better diet.

Lucifer loves anchovies,she’s has been with me for five years now, I know everyone says this about their pet, but I honestly believe that she understands every word I say to her.

Anyway, back to Rob, we used to chat about work while I waited. I thought that he would ask me out but we’re both shy so we just carried on talking about the weather. Then I would go home feed the anchovies to Lucifer, put my pyjamas on and curl up on the sofa in front of the evening news with my meal.

So it was quite a surprise one night when Rob finally asked me out. “After all” he said “You could still have pizza, but in a restaurant, with me, what do you say?”

I wasn’t sure because I’d only ever had the one date before. It was while I was at university, one of the boys on my course asked me out for a drink, but it wasn’t a good date. It had ended early, I didn’t remember much about it except that he had laughed at me when I was telling him about Lucifer. I don’t like it when people laugh at me. Anyway, as I said the date ended early and I never saw him again. He must have dropped out of university; the police came round a few days later to see if anyone knew where he was, apparently his parents had reported that he was missing. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t know anything anyway.

Rob and I had a good time that night, we chatted about work and he was very impressed with my job, he said that I was very nearly a doctor. We talked about Lucifer as well. Rob liked cats, not many men do, mostly men like dogs, big snarly ones. I don’t like dogs, too messy.

We went out again, once a week, usually to the same place and before I knew it a year had passed and Rob moved into my little flat.

At first we were very happy, he had a way of laughing as if he was inviting me to laugh with him whenever I did something silly. I knew had had some quirks, but everyone does, don’t they? Even Rob.

He liked to read the paper on the weekend from cover to cover; he would read out the interesting bits to me. But he had to have the paper first, and he wouldn’t move from the breakfast table until he had read it all. Though I liked to clear away the dishes straight away he insisted that I sit with him while he read. He used to say that I was ‘pernickety’ and that I liked everything to be ‘just so’. But I don’t see what’s wrong with that. If you’ve finished with something, then put it away.

I hate clutter and gradually I started silently resenting Rob and his messy habits more often than I spent laughing with him.

Picking up after him began to take up more and more of my time and he started leaving more and more stuff around. Perhaps to see if I would eventually give up and leave the mess, but I just couldn’t.

We started having quarrels, small and silly at first but then they became louder and more frequent until I just couldn’t stand it.

What was even worse was the way he monopolised Lucifer. She always used to sit on my lap in front of the telly and wind herself around my legs at mealtimes and when we came home. But she started to spend more time with Rob and would sleep on his legs at night and sit on his lap in the evening.

I tried to tempt her with special little treats, I even bought anchovies for her from the supermarket, but she would eat them and then turn away from me to go back to Rob. “That’s my girl” he used to say. I thought that I was his girl, but he spent more time talking to the cat than to me. Sometimes when we were sitting together on the sofa he would stroke my arm or my back and it felt as he was doing it out of habit and it didn’t matter whether to him whether it was me or my cat .

I suppose that’s when I decide that he had to leave. We had gone to bed after another argument about his untidiness. I had stopped putting things away for a few days and he didn’t even notice how messy everything was and how upset I was. He just spent the evening sitting in front of the television eating biscuits and dropping crumbs everywhere, stroking Lucifer.

I turned my back on him and stared at the bedroom wall thinking of all the things I would say to him just as soon as he apologised for being such a slob. I felt his hand brush the back of my neck, “That’s a good girl” he said. I almost turned over to smile at him, but he wasn’t speaking to me or apologising. “Lovely Lucifer, who’s a lovely cat?”

Well that was the last straw; I jumped out of bed and screamed at him, all of the resentment and anger I had been holding in just poured out of me.

It was strange; he just stared at me for a moment then got out of bed, dressed and walked out of the flat. He never said a word.

I was glad he was gone, now it was just me and Lucifer again. I spent the night cleaning up the flat and packing all his stuff in 2 carrier bags. I left them by the door when I went to work the next morning.

When I returned from work the following day, the bags were gone and in their place was a white envelope containing his set of keys.

The flat looked empty and so tidy I smiled and headed into the kitchen to feed Lucifer. It was odd that she hadn’t come to the door to meet me; she usually appeared when she heard my key in the lock. I opened the cupboard and took out a tin of her favourite anchovies and turned to pick up her bowl from the floor near the back door. But it wasn’t there and neither was her water dish or her bed with the blue blanket.

I ran into the bedroom, sometimes she would spend the day curled up in the warmth of the airing cupboard, but she wasn’t there, dropping to my knees I checked under the bed but she wasn’t there either.

Back in the kitchen I saw the envelope that had held the keys; I opened it and found a short note.

“Sorry, sorry “it read “I know I make you unhappy so it is best if I just moved out. Lucifer is with me, she prefers me to you now anyway”

I screamed in rage, how dare he take my cat!

Of course I went straight back to the takeaway, but Rob didn’t work there anymore, and they didn’t know where he lived.  Over the next few months I went to all the places we had gone to together, but no one had seen him. I even went to the police few times but although they said they would try to help they weren’t concerned at all, and the last time I went one of them laughed at me and told me to get another cat. I reported him to the police sergeant on the front desk but I don’t think that it helped.

So here I am, standing outside the court watching Rob try to manoeuvre his wheelchair down the ramp towards the waiting car. It’s pouring with rain again but I have my umbrella and for a minute I think about helping him or holding my brolly over his head. But my lawyer is standing next to me And shaking my hand “Well that’s all over now” he said, “Congratulations, you can go back to work without worrying about the law suit anymore”

I shook his hand and thanked him ”Yes” I heard myself say”  Thank you, It’s  quite a relief, I’m very good at my job, and I’m pleased  that the jury realised that I could never accidentally hurt anyone”. I thought about the day that Rob walked into the clinic. He had hurt his back lifting something at work and he wanted my help. “No hard feelings?” he said.

Well I did what I could for him of course, I am a professional after all, and I know exactly what I am doing.....

But, he shouldn’t have taken my cat.