The Friend who cried...

THE FRIEND WHO CRIED

Sun was dazzling over Shiva’s face and his eyes opened abruptly; he saw the nurse who came there to seal the curtains off. He was lying in a hospital; lying beside him was his best friend, Jai Sharma.

He was sitting on a chair and leaned just near Shiva’s left fore-arm.

“He must’ve slept…” he thought.

The doctor entered, followed by the nurse; apparently, she had informed the doctor about his waking up.

“How do you feel now?” said the doctor.

“Good,” replied Shiva, getting up to sit, “In fact, really fine.”

“Do you know what happened to you? Do you remember anything?”

“Well, let me guess…” said Shiva, as though deep in thought, “I must’ve had another heart attack. Wrong?”

“Umm… Does it mean you have already had any attacks like this?”

“Yup. Thrice before, and I’m very lucky to survive even after that, ain’t I? Maybe the God wanted me to stay with my friend, in the latter part of my life.”

“Do not worry. Be hopeful. Nothing will happen. And… just let me wake your friend…” said the doctor; and he was about to stir Jai, “No!” bawled Shiva, “He’s sleeping peacefully and why are you disturbing him? Wanna tell something? You can tell me.”

“No, I just need to talk about –“started the doctor.

“About what?” Shiva interjected, “About the bill? Don’t worry, we ain’t gonna bamboozle you.”

“No. Not about the –“

“Then what?” he broke in again, “Are you gonna tell that I’ve got only some days left in my life. No need to tell that. I already know it.”

“Well,” said the doctor, with an anxious voice, “You do not seem to be in a good form to talk to. I’ll see you later.” And he left the room.

Shiva waited for his friend to wake up; but he felt sleepy and began to doze again.

Jai Sharma and Shiva Ray had been best friends as soon as they entered the world. Thirteen years of togetherness; but some unpleasant circumstances parted them, after which Shiva had to go to his parents’ native place. Jai and Shiva were happiest before they split; they treated each other in a much better way than they would have treated their brothers.

They grew up together in the same apartments in a place in Kolkata. They were quite contrasting in their appearances. Where Jai was of average height, Shiva was overgrown; Jai was of normal weight and Shiva was too lanky. Shiva was in some extreme or the other, except, perhaps, in beauty, where he was moderately handsome; whereas, Jai was like a B-wood hero. Not only these, but also in their mental make-up both were rather opposite. Yet, there seemed to be some force which kept them attached to each other. Such was their friendship.

As kids, they used to go to each other’s home on alternate days to play. They did almost everything as one; they played together, watched movies, journeyed, roved till midnight and even had suppers in sync. Well, the only time one could not find them close by each other, was when Jai was studying; Shiva was slow on the uptake and preferred anything to studies. This was the only attitude of Shiva’s which made one disdain him, as well as Jai. For his mom would say, “Look how good Jai has scored. And you! You’re always with him; he finishes all his work and studies and spoils you.” These kinds of comparisons were always there. Though he did not score as well as Jai, he had a good general knowledge and he was full of daring, which Jai seemed to lack a bit, but he was no thick child. He always stood first in studies, sports and also art. Art… art was probably the only similar trait in them. Both aspired to become great artists, or at least, illustrators of some magazine.

There were certainly some sporadic scraps between them, but their lasting more than one hour was something more than impossible; any one of them would indubitably go to the other expressing regrets. Thus they kept up a good bond between them, at least till they turned 13.

Due to some personal problems, Ajay Ray, Shiva’s father, had to leave Kolkata. Shiva, along with his family, was to go to his parents’ native, Mangalore. He tried many times to convince his parents that he stayed back with his friend, but they would not listen.

Even Jai came one evening, to meet Mr. Ajay and said, “Uncle, don’t worry. Shiva can stay here with me. We’ll keep him happy here. Besides, he’s like my brother; please don’t separate us-“

“I am forced to,” Ajay said, “You will not understand this. You are just a kid and… and if you want you can come to our home anytime. And I will make sure he too comes here to meet you. I have got no intentions to hurt my sons; of course, you are my son as well. It is just the situation which is compelling us to leave you.”

He was not satisfied, and went to his home arguing with his father.

“Dad,” implored Jai, “Why don’t you ask uncle to leave Shiva with me?”

“Look, Jai,” gently said Manohar, his father, “They are just going to their native… And it will only be a matter of time before you both complete your studies and meet each other and get-“

“But dad,” interrupted Jai, “I can’t wait for so long… And I don’ wanna live without his company!”

“Jai!” Manohar shouted, “Shut your mouth and do your work. We cannot do anything.”

He obeyed, but felt very sad and was almost at verge of crying, but did not. This was one of Jai’s distinctive characteristics. For, in the 13 years they lived together Shiva had never seen a time when Jai’s eyes welled with tears. There was even a point in time when they both were playing and Jai injured his head by hitting against a grille. His head was bleeding, and if some other 8 or 9 year old boy were in his place, he would have wept beyond any doubt. But Jai did not. For some reason, Shiva was not crying, which was his facet; because he used to cry for the most frivolous of things. He was disheartened though, but on the other hand, was rather cheery that he was going to meet his cousins and uncles, and his grandparents. That was why he did not show much reluctance in going away, as Jai did.

After this, both their lives changed forever. Jai concentrated more, now, on his studies. Of course, he had many other friends and companions, yet he longed for his best friend. He received no messages from Shiva since his departure, nor was there any means of contacting him; if there was, then he would have contacted his friend at least once per every hour. There was no sign of Shiva’s contacting him. Noticing all these, his father once said,

“You call him your best friend? Who does not even bother calling you? Did you see his face on that day? He showed no sign of sadness and did not even feel sorry for leaving you. And you offended your own dad –“

“DAD!” Jai snapped, “He’s my best friend. If not now, then some day in the future or the other, we’re surely gonna meet. What do you know about our friendship?”

At this, his father stood up angrily and almost went on to slap him. And then he said,

“Alright. It is not my business. Your wish. Do whatever you want.” And since then, he kept on waiting.

Here, at Mangalore, where Shiva came with lots of expectations, proved to be much more of a hell, for he was never given any attention by anyone. He had cousins, Sita, Uma and Chitty, who were very close among themselves. Everyone loved his younger brother, Surya more than him, which forced him to do something he had never done in his life – he felt jealous of Surya. The adults of the joint family would have works in their offices. He was extremely poignant when he was left alone. He seemed to imagine that his cousins were mingling well with his brother, but always rebuffed him. The only time when they talked to him was in the case of asking him how his studies were going. He would say,

“They’re going quite well… er… Shall I ask you something?”

“Not now, Shiva… the thing is we’re going to go out.”

“Who are all going?”

“Umm… Surya, Uma, Chitty, and I are going. You see, we thought you’d be preparing for your board exams. So… anyway, take care of your studies. We’ll come again soon. Don’t worry.”

“Oh… Okay. Have fun. Bye.”

Now, he realized that he really was missing his dearest friend – Jai. He was very much down, and at times, he would become so glum that he would go and sob secretly. He thought, “How I wish I’d go and meet my dear friend, Jai!”

After another 15 years or so, Shiva woke up early in the morning. That was the happiest moment of his life, after all those anguish, miserable, seemingly boundless years and years at Mangalore. He was going to leave his mother and father, who he supposed were the only sad people to see him going away. But he was happy; he was going to his friend’s. And he left.

When he arrived at Kolkata railway station, his eyes filled with tears on seeing Jai, the greatest relation he had been gifted with, in his life. His teenage was more of a nightmare, which should actually have been the most enjoyable time in one’s life. So the effect of that depression did not wear off even when he saw the face, which he so craved to see. He held him in a tight embrace, and both of them were so elated to see each other that no words came out of their mouths.

“Jai – it’s – it’s been so, so long since we met,” said Shiva with a trembling voice, “How are – you, Jai?”

“I dunno what to say...” said Jai, “But I just wanna thank God… really I’m so happy that even if He takes away my life now, I don’t worry.”

But then, Shiva felt an agonizing pain inside his chest and the pain was so unbearable that he fell over. Jai, who was just so ecstatic at his friend’s arrival, was very concerned when he thought that such a dismal incident should happen. He quickly carried him on his shoulders and rushed to the hospital in his car, which he had bought just now. He wished to take his friend first in that brand new car, but not in this manner.

When they reached the hospital, much more alarming news from the doctor awaited Jai. The doctor approached him and said, “His condition is very terrible. We assume he has had couple of attacks before.”

“What?” cried out Jai, “Heart attack?”

“Yes,” said the doctor, careful enough not to meet his eyes, “And his chances of living, I’m afraid, are very less indeed.” He saw Jai’s eyes; he was at the point of weeping, probably for the first time in his life.

“You see,” said the doctor again, “We will try our best, but his entire survival is not in our hands.”

“You are a doctor,” said Jai, trying his best not to cry, “How can you speak like this? Is there no way – Or if he gets good care, he can survive, can’t he?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” said the doctor, trying to convince him, “We have tried our best, and we’re still trying. Will you just bring the medicines prescribed here?” and handed him the prescription.

Jai scurried down the steps, without even bothering about the lift which was there available. He brought and handed them to the doctor. After waiting for a couple of hours, the doctor reappeared.

“What happened, doctor?”

“I am afraid you will have to wait for some more time. His condition is still poor now.”

“Why – “

“Please, sir, don’t mistake us. We need to do whatever is possible.” And they went to resume their work.

Here, Jai could not bear thinking of Shiva’s living chances being very poor. Tears were erupting like lava from his eyes; and for the first time, his cheeks felt the warmness of the fresh tears which were streaming down. Then, he decided something and went running to his home. There, he took a small bottle and his bag with him and then returned to the hospital. The doctor appeared as well, and said, Good news for you…” Jai’s heart lightened on hearing this, “We were able to save him.”

“But,” said the doctor, and Jai looked disheartened again, “the bad news is that his heart has become so feeble and sensitive that he cannot live more… He has not got the strength in his body or heart to stay for long. We are sorry. You can go and stay beside him. Let him rest for some time and then you can take him home. And… does he have any relations?”

“Yes,” said Jai, but he was not at all aware of what he was saying, “But they’re very far away from him.”

“Then, it is better you call them immediately.”

Jai went in and sat beside him. It was intolerable for him to think that his best friend must die in front of his eyes. He called his parents, who were in England with their elder son. He wanted to stop thinking of Shiva’s dying, but it was unbearable; he had never felt so bad in his life.

He took out a paper from his bag and began writing something; now and then, tears fell upon the paper. He put it in his pocket such that a part of it was visible outside. Then, he took the tonic bottle he had brought with him and glugged down in a single gulp. He could not think of anything else, and slept.

Shiva woke up the second time after the doctor’s treatment; he saw that Jai was still sleeping in the same position as he was when the doctor had last left the room. Now, as a best friend, he did not want Jai to rest, but to spend the last few moments with him, for he knew that his life was not going to last long.

“Come on, Jai,” said Shiva, with an air of cheer in his voice, “Wake up. Jai? Hey JJ, wake up bloody buddy! Come on.” He shook him and Jai’s head, which was leaning against his hand, fell and some whitish mucus like substance flowing from Jai’s mouth, was visible.

“JAI! Doctor! Doctor!” Shiva shouted, and the chief doctor dashed in, followed by two other doctors and nurses. “Doctor! Look, doc –” The doctor rushed near Jai and examined him. “Is he your friend?” said the doctor, in a grim voice. “Yes, doctor,” said Shiva, “Doctor, what’s happened to him? Please do something.”

“We are sorry, but he’s been poisoned… We’ll arrange to call his parents.” And they went away.

He felt as if he had already passed away. He saw the letter in his pocket and took it out. As he was reading it his eyes filled with tears; and although he never saw them, he could make out tears which poured from Jai’s blue eyes. He thought, “God! Why my friend? You could’ve taken my life instead… I suffered so much in the past,” and now spoke openly with his voice trembling, “But – none – this is much – much – worse…” After reading, he started wailing; he was sad again. And once more, that excruciating, terrible pain penetrated his chest and he closed his eyes, after uttering in a very low whisper, “Jai, no one can separate us now…”

The letter which rested in his hands read –

My dear Shiva,

         Who do you think I was waiting for more than 10 years? And my elder bro was ready to take all of us abroad with him; for whom do you believe I let go my family?

         For you, my dear friend, for you…

I don’t care to live in a home,

Which has always left my friend alone;

Where he has nothin’,

But sorrowful life without a sin;

God, I demand you,

What did we do?

You punished us for 15 years,

By separating us, bringing us tears.

But I don’t care ‘bout anybody,

Not God, nor parents, only my buddy;

So, are we, going together;

The only thing which I bother

Is to go along with my friend,

Till comes my soul’s very end.

You know damn well we don’t fret

For mortality ain’t known friendship yet.

I am sorry Shiva,

You’re the one for whom did I first cry,

And the one, for whom now I die…