Flash Decision

         The falling leaves danced eerily in the wind, never seeming to touch ground. Autumn had always been Emily’s favorite season; but now she felt like she was drowning in the beauty of it rather than flourishing like she had every other year.

         Hamilton County Park had been a place where Emily grew up. She had gone on her first play date here, tutored her first student here, and studied for the SATs here. It only made sense that she’d stop by at a time like this; a time when she needed nothing more than a beautiful place to think in peace.

         Emily passed by an older man in a business suit with a golden retriever on a leash. He nodded at her and smiled as he passed; but Emily was certain it was a smirk. A knowing smirk, perhaps. He could see right through her and he was only a stranger. She felt naked, abruptly, and quickened her pace to her favorite bench near the back of the park.

         In eighth grade, she carved her and Michael Parker’s initials into the bench surrounded by a heart. It was a constant source of jealousy for Jesse, and he’d been overcome with joy when the city decided to repaint every city bench red. Emily had thought it would end it once and for all. Of course, after that there was the family vacation, and the science project, and God knows what else that Jesse dug up to be angry about.

         Emily placed her hand gingerly on her stomach, knowing it didn’t really matter at this point anyway. She couldn’t hide it any longer, so she made an appointment for two o’clock and took the day off from school to come to terms with things. She knew she would have some explaining to do when she got home, but she needed this time to herself to make sure she was making the right choice.

         “How far along?” a pleasant voice asked, causing Emily’s head to jerk upward. The petite, pretty woman standing before her matched the voice almost too well.

         “Excuse me?” Emily asked.

         “I’m sorry, mind if I sit down? He’s getting heavier all the time.” The woman didn’t wait for a response, instead plopping down clumsily next to Emily. She had a wild mane of dark curls and looked like she hadn’t slept in a couple days. In her arms, she held a wide-eyed baby wrapped tightly in a blue blanket.

         “What’s his name?” Emily asked.

         “Elijah. He’s almost three months now. I take him out here on nice days like today. He likes to watch the leaves,” the woman paused watching Emily’s gaze. “So, how far along are you?”

         Emily’s doe-like eyes glanced up, making her look like a wounded puppy. She felt heavy and tired.

         “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. You just, have the glow..” the woman’s voice trailed off.

         There was another long pause before Emily started to respond, “Oh, it’s been a few mon-”

         Elijah started crying, effectively interrupting her. The woman stood up, rocking him back and forth gingerly. She was pale and looked ready to fall over. “Sh, sh,” she cooed. But Elijah continued to cry, screaming almost now.

         Emily felt as dizzy as the leaves spinning in the air around her head.

         “Hold on, just a second,” the woman yelled over her baby’s screams. “He gets really crabby around this time, like every day, I’m not kidding.”

         “Maybe he’s tired?” Emily suggested.

         “No, he naps at three,” the woman laughed. “You just never get peace with a youngster!”

         The woman tried everything. She pulled a bottle out of the striped diaper bag on the bench, but Elijah was having none of it. She tried walking in circles around the bench, only adding to Emily’s spinning head. Elijah’s screams felt directed at her.

         Emily stood up and took a few steps away from the bench, “Hey, um, I have to go. I have an appointment.”









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