THE STORY OF PETE PANNICHASER

Pete Pannichasser was a philandering man known to sleep around town

There was no way any woman would ever tie him down

When it came to women Pete had one philosophy

Why would he buy the cow when he could get the milk for free?



He'd often broken the heart of many a young lass

When they found out they were merely another piece of ass

All heart-broken, teary-eyed and on the verge of suicide

He'd dashed all their hopes of ever becoming his bride



Then one day while walking down the street a pretty young thing caught his eye.

She hypnotized him with her swaying hips as she went sashaying by

He sized her up, her measurements 36, 24, 37?

A brick house with a pair of legs that went all the way to “heaven”



He walked faster to catch up to her and gathered up his nerve

He couldn’t say some corny pickup line and look like a desperate perve

So he simply said,  “Excuse me miss could you give me the time of day?”

“Honey I could give you the time of your life and you wouldn’t even have to pay.”



He gave her an astonished look; her response had caught him off guard

At the same time it turned him on and he felt himself getting hard

But he stayed silent quite unsure of exactly what to say next

She said  “ Honey, it’s ok if you’re not into casual sex.”



Hell, he was into casual sex it was his favorite pass time

And to make it even better if wouldn’t even cost him a dime.

No dinner date, no movie tickets not even a dozen flowers

Just getting down and dirty for a couple of hours



Pete took a deep breath and gained his composure before he finally spoke

“Do you always go home with strangers or is this some type of joke?”

“No, it’s not a joke, she said, “I’m not into playing games

“I’m a woman you’re a man we'll skip formalities such as names.”



“I know that you’re attracted to me and likewise I to you.”

“So I don’t see a problem with the two of us wanting to screw.”

So he followed her back to her place and they went straight to getting busy

They fucked like two rabbits in heat until they both felt dizzy.



After she caught her breath she said, “You’re one of the best no doubt.”

“But I’m really quite tired, do you mind showing yourself out?”

He said, “ I was hoping if I spent the night you’d toss this dog another ‘bone’”

“Sleepovers are for children honey, Mama sleeps alone.”



He had to admit she turned him out she totally rocked his world.

And for the first time in his life he honestly wanted this girl.

But he couldn’t believe that she was actually serious about wanting him to go.

Although he tried not to show it his ego had taken a blow.



So he said, “Give me your number or at least tell me your name.”

“After all I'm the reason you came and came and came.”

She said, “Multiple orgasms indeed, but seeing you again wasn't my intention.”

“For that reason neither name nor number did I mention.”



She sighed and said, “ It was just unbridled, frenzied lust.”

“But I’ll give my name and number if you feel that it’s a must.”

“I can’t deny the sex was great and your cock is really big.”

“But just because a girl wants some ‘sausage’ doesn’t mean she wants the pig.