Frustration

IAMFRUSTRATED.

every oz. of my being. i'm sitting and sitting and sitting and sitting.

and WHY is that all i can do? i can go through the motions, sure.

i keep busy, i don't have the option not to.

but spiritually,emotionally-my soul is sitting still.

i forget what i love. i forget who i am.
i become this big mess of thoughts and ideas and agendas and hesaidshesaid and formulas and grammar and literary lenses and "psycholanalyze this" and thesis that and flashcards and vocab and words    and

i am lost.

i want to move forward. i want to learn,discover,grow but i'm stuck.

i can barely see the light in the end of the tunnel, just a glimpse.

but i know, that light leads to another tunnel and another tunnel and another

tunnel and so goes the rest of my life.

and i think, "what's the point anways?"

i love life? i thought.

but, all i see is this endless cycle ahead of me. and, i start to lose hope.

i start to lose that passion, that excitement, that feeling that i could never
explain but if YOU'VE felt it YOU know. how do i hold on?

how do i find meaning in monotony? when does all of this sitting around and
waiting end?

will i always be waiting?