Against the glass (331 words)

Some of us are just meant to wander this world alone, feeling like we are on the outside looking in. Like that puzzle with the missing piece, or even that missing piece itself.  Some of us have no destination and just follow the universe in whatever direction it takes us.  Some of us are destined to be alone through life. We see people breeze in and out, and we know that the departures must be because of some flaw in our character, because it happens time and again. But knowing that flaw exists, and knowing what that flaw is are two entirely different animals.  It hurts when you know that thing that was said, was really meant about you. It hurts that you don’t know how to fix it. It hurts that you know that you will always be on the outside looking in. You stand there with your face pressed to the glass, alone and cold in the snow, hoping someone will see you, and invite you in, and keep you. But years of experience at this game tell you that, it will never happen, because some people are just meant to be along in this world.

  I suppose a time will come, when once again I will open myself up and try to let someone near me, and I suppose again, someone will walk into my life only to walk out again, for reasons I just don’t understand. I wish the world were a more honest place. I wish it were a place where instead of walking away a person could just say. “I’d like to be your friend, but this thing you do, it makes me uncomfortable.” I’m not saying I would change that thing at all. But at least I would have the option, and at least then I would not feel like the last toy on the shelf, picked up, and put back too many times, while I watch all the other toys leave the store.