Chasing memories in the rain

Time: 21:48
Date: 9 October

It's dark outside. Dark and raining. Yes, a dark and rainy autumn night. Perfect for reflecting. And that is exactly what our precious Adelaide is doing. A girl of seventeen, approximately five foot and three inches, with long dark brown hair and dark green eyes. She wears dark baggy trousers, a light pink camisole top and a thick black hooded jacket. She stands alone under a single lamp-post in a lonely street two streets from her home, retracing her memories as far back as she can but at points, they seem to blur. Her closest of family and friends become strangers. She remembers little of the pla,ces she visited year after year. Even her own face seems like the face of someone else. She closes her eyes for a few seconds to refocus.

Then, she sees something that caught the corner of her eye. Another shadow, right next to hers. She turns to look behind her. There is no one there. She looks back. The shadow had gone. She sighs and steps forward towards the edge of the pavement,looking into her reflection in a puddle nearby. Her face looks pale and miserable. She thinks about how she used to be happy and bubbly, with slightly shorter and blonde hair and lighter green eyes.She smiled all the time and happily played outside with her friends.

Where had that version of her gone?

A car drives past and splashes Adelaide. She shakes herself dry and returns to where she was standing. She waits for the ripples to clear. But, as the ripples clear, a new face emerges. Instead of Adelaide's reflection, her younger self appears, pulls a cheeky grin at the older Adelaide and begins to run away. The present Adelaide begins to give chase. Young Adelaide does not appear to outrun her, but stays the exact same distance away. Older Adelaide's expression changes from confusion to determination to catch up with her younger self.

And then, as clear as an Irish spring, her memories return. Her first crush, her first rejection, the countless times that her classmates refused to associate with her. And at the end of every memory, the younger Adelaide was left standing alone and crying, with no one to comfort her. The present Adelaide walks quietly over to another puddle nearby and looks. There is no sign of younger Adelaide. She hears a sniffing noise behind her. She turns round to see a three-dimensional and almost possibly tangible version of the young Adelaide. The present Adelaide realises something. The memories of her past had become so upsetting that she, alike to her classmates, had refused to associate with her previous self, splitting herself into two. And that is where she began to feel less and less of herself. Every time something bad had happened, it had been little Adelaide who had to live through it again and again, whilst the older version had just moved on.

Older Adelaide starts to move through her memories. And at every point where little Adelaide was, older Adelaide holds her in a tight embrace and feels all the pain she had bottled up for years. It hurts but, for some peculiar reason, older Adelaide doesn't care. Little Adelaide dries her tears and begins to smile. Older Adelaide follows her and soon enough, they blend into one whole person.

Adelaide removes her jacket and smiles. It feels good to her to finally feel whole again, like she has wanted for so many years. She begins to walk back home, thinking of the new version of herself she has become, but this time around, she has taken all of herself along with her. She thinks about all the new experiences she wants to have. All of the new opportunities that have come into light.

And within a moment of true bliss, she grins and skips home.

The morale of this story: Never abandon your past and leave them to hurt in your place. And if you do, remember to embrace your old self and reconnect with it. It will make you whole again.