N o . A n s w e r

He let out at long sigh and considered watching another episode of the series. Ever since he found the complete series in his mothers collection, he could not seem to stop watching them. Probably because it kept his mind away from the memories that he dreaded so much. A thought crossed his mind of how late it was and how he must go to work tomorrow since he's missed the last two days of work. Rolling over in his bed he pushed the button on his phone and it lit up bright with the time. Five-thirty-five in the morning. A long yawn reminded him that he was indeed sleepy.

"Time for bed," He thought to himself. He rolled back over and turned off the the TV. It was pitch dark in the room besides the dim light fading through the blinds from the security light outside. He instantly pictured his arm wrapping around her, just as he had down for the previous two years. "Get those thoughts out of your head." The warning was useless. He pictured her hair as she laid next to him. Soft and thin blonde hair. It always laid behind her on the pillow and he would have to move the hair in order to get close enough to hold her. It was his favorite time of the day, and told her this often. Holding her...

Her smile jumped across his face. Then her laugh. He was watching short film after short film. She was laying on her left side, her back to him. He felt his hand move across her side and on top of her belly as he moved closer. He moved it up to her chest and placed his hand on her left arm. He gave a tight but gentle tug so that his body laid completely against hers and he rested his head on her pillow, his nose just under her right ear. He could feel her breathing. Her body barely moved, recognizing his presence and she rested her feet on top of his feet, being that she was quite a bit shorter than him. As she did every night right before she fell asleep, she gave a slight "hmm" to let him know that she was completely satisfied and happy to have been in his arms.

He snapped out of the memory and wiped his eyes although there were no tears. He could feel them coming though. "Try music," he thought. He reached over and picked up his phone and plugged it into the charger. Using the music player on his phone, he picked out a mellow song that did not remind him of her and set it on repeat. After setting the phone back down, he rested his head once again on the pillow and closed his eyes. She instantly popped back up his head, and this time they were in Indiana. It was early in the morning and the cool air had a little bite to the exposed skin, yet she was still wearing shorts. He stared at her legs and thought of just how lucky he was to have such a beautiful girl, on the inside and the out.

Another memory jumped up just as the memory faded. Then another. And then another. He opened his eyes and shuttered. He was burning up from the hot room and being under the covers, yet the memories were so cold. They were cutting at his heart.

A cigarette crossed his mind and now that his mind was wide awake, and his eyes wide open, he figured he might as well not resist the urge to get a taste of the poison that calmed him. He got up and slipped on his pants. Everything was still in his pockets since he never emptied them. He threw his shoes on hastily, grabbed his jacket, and slipped outside. His dog greeted him immediately and he tried taking his mind off of things by giving his dog the attention she craved. Bella, his only dog, jumped up to his waste as she always did when he walked out and wagged her tail in excitement.

"Hey Bella Boo..." He took his eyes off of her and instantly looked up to the stars. Out in the country he could clearly see the entire sky besides the slight light pollution from the same security light that littered his room. He instantly caught sight of a satellite. He watched it move quickly across the sky until the trees in his yard covered it. It reminded him of when he was trying to get her to see one. She had never seen a satellite in the sky before. He was standing with her outside, straining his eyes across the sky searching for one, but never found one.

"Wish she was here now..." Just as he's always wishing she was there, day in and day out. Pulling out a cigarette and placing it in between his lips, he lit the end of it and moved down the steps. A thought of running away crossed his mind as he glanced at his car. "Running away, I'm pretty good at that." He shook his head at his own thoughts. Her face flashed in front of his eyes as if she was standing there. His eyes immediately started burning.

He started walking towards the middle of his yard. Another flash. He could hear the sound of ripping when she flashed in front of him. Another memory. She was standing with his roommate and pretending to listen to the roommate as she stared at him. Another tearing sound. His heart started to pound harder. Another memory. She pushed him on the bed and walked in front of him, teasing him with her new pink school girl outfit. Another ripping sound, louder than previous two. His chest, where his heart was, started to ache more and more. A tear formed in first his left and then right eye and he could feel them roll down his face. Another memory. Another rip. Another tear. More pain. Then another, and another.

They came faster and faster and he dropped to his knees in pain, in hopelessness. With the soft sound of a muffled cry and with tears now streaming down his face, he looked to the stars and said the only thing he could to the one person listening...

"Lord, please take this pain from my heart." He could barely get out the words before he lost complete control over his emotions. He sat outside on his hands and knees, crying uncontrollably for a couple of minutes before gaining some control. As his tears came to an end, he looked to the stars and begged for an answer. Yet nothing was said. "It's because you're not listening." His thoughts punished him, and so did his memories. Nothing seemed to be on his side anymore.

Attempting to regain control of himself, he reached in his pocket for another cigarette. She flashed in his mind and he let the lone tear role down his face. The pain in his chest was far greater than it previously was, but so long as he had control he would be okay. Bella was sitting next to him and never moved. He moved his hands up and down her back and scratched her ears for a second. "Thanks for listening Bella."

He finished his cigarette and tossed it in the outside ashtray. Looking up to the stars, he repeated his prayer...

"Lord, please take this pain from my heart." Still no answer. He again begged for an answer to the reasoning behind all this. Still... no answer.