Al Gore

        Al Gore had seen many bizarre things. He had lost to a President that
  did not have the popular vote. Every piece of evidence of logic and science
  pointed to a land slide for Al Gore's election to the Presidency of the United
  States of America. But, he was screwed.

        It was time to focus on global issues. The environment was polluted.
  The thin layer of ozone that protects our atmosphere was burning off.
  It was obvious carbon omissions had to be reduced. Well, it was obvious
  to Al Gore. The arctic circle was melting. And the salinity of the oceans were
  dropping. That meant the algae at the surface of the oceans, was dieing.
  This algae makes most of the oxygen, since most of the planets surface is
  oceans. Al Gore was desperate.

        "Maybe I could do a commercial? You know about conservation?"
        he said to his publicist.

  They were having stake salmon at the revolving restaurant in Philadelphia.
  A fan asked for Mr. Gore's autograph. He smiled and signed ..
  "Is this a sapena?" Al snorted. The little man laughed and scurried away.
  Al threw his napkin down on his plate. "God! How many times am I going
  to be sued?" he growled. The publicists read the document.

        "Yeah. Just a contractual agreement issue. I'll handle it." Newman said.

      Al shook his fork, "For what?!"

        "President Bush paid you to appear at a party for his daughter.
        I think you were suppose to make balloon animals, dressed as
        a clown." Newman said as he studied the document, "I signed the
        agreement .. with my power of attorney."

      Al Gore rose to his feet in astonishment and disdain. "I will never!"
  he cursed and stormed away. Newman paid the bill. He phoned his secretary,
  "Refund President Bush and send Mr. Gores apologies. He had food poisoning."
  The publicist chortled as he sipped his wine.


    S.O.L