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Muzzy goes to a tea party |
The straw man is an American classic. The present day hero searches for answers in the rebellious gangs of gun activists and Republican Tea Parties. Yes, there is talk of revolution. All the problems of the country can be traced to one man; Muzzy. This social deviant has slimed his way into pop internet culture. There will be a prayer meeting for him under a blazing cross. What hypocrisy? The phone rings at Muzzy's den of smut. "You are dammed to Hell fire!" the call begins, "If you would like to be saved, please remain on the line and a prayer councilor will speak with you." Muzzy hangs up. It is time to get a shave and shower and maybe bye some salmon steaks. Muzzy completes his cleansing ritual and has some toast with jelly. He steps out his front door and beholds his neighbor's flaming cross. "Ah? Do you have a permit for that?" Muzzy asks Mr. Pot belly. Mr. Pot belly laughs and nods yes. Muzzy waves back and sips his bottle of Snapple Mango. Wow. These Republicans are getting gangster. Muzzy thinks he should wear his Sea Gull Restaurant cap. The sun might burn his bald head. He puts it on in his pick up. The drive to Market Basket is delayed by a Sherman Tank. Yup. There is a guy around here that owns a Sherman Tank and he fires the cannon at tractor events. Fun. What kind of mileage does a tank get? Oh, look the hunters are shooting geese or is it ducks? And they're drinking beer. "Liquored up hunters" Muzzy fumbles for the police number, which can't be found in the local Fair Point phone book. "Shaz-bat!" Muzzy curses in Battle Star Galactica. The store is a jumble of sales and careening shopping carts. "Excuse me." Muzzy asks to see the bread. A man steps up next to him with a gun strapped his leg. Suddenly, things are dangerous in the bread isle. Muzzy smiles at him. He smiles back and snatches some english muffins. Thankfully, he leaves peacefully. Well, that's pushing the 2nd amendment. Muzzy shrugs. As he leaves the Market Basket, he can see the gun toting man standing bye his truck. His wife is loading their Durango. She is not holstered. Thank goodness. They have a Glen Beck bumper sticker. Muzzy sighs and loads his Kitty Litter. Some young men are comparing rifles across the parking lot from Muzzy. They have a Union Jack on their pick up bumper. Muzzy remembers the Winchester dad left him. It's back at his hobbit. Maybe, he should buy a peace keeper for the pick up? What is happening to these Republicans? Do they want a revolt? Muzzy remembers Martin Luther King and how many gun carrying conservative white folks hated him. That ended in violence. I wonder what the Tea Party is up to? Are they all peace loving gun activists? Muzzy turns on the Fox Radio Station and "We are watching the destruction of our way of life by a man who hates America." (Rush Limbaugh, comment on President Barack Husien Obama). Later Michael Savage called our President, "A traitor." Sean Hannity remarked, "This President has bankrupted our country, we will not survive four more years of Obama. I will vote for anyone besides Obama." Sounds like a call to arms. Muzzy has some lemonade and reads his copy of Robert A. Caro's "The Years of Lyndon Johnson Means of Ascent." All or Nothing: page 285. Earnest Boyett was shocked to learn that Lyndon Johnson was buying votes. Supporters of Coke Stevenson were being bought for a thousand dollars each. Boyett recalls, "My God! they're stealing East Texas!" Muzzy recalls where he was when John Fitzgerald Kennedy was assassinated. In his crib. One man with a rifle changed history. Vietnam was escalated, under Johnson's Presidency .. He had stock in the Huey helicopter contract. Time for some Snapple tea! What kind of peace keeper should I buy? + ^ V |