Theres No Such Thing

THERE’S NO SUCH THING

CHAPTER 1

THE NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE







I thought it was over… I thought I was safe… I was wrong.

My name is Alex Bell, just an ordinary guy from Ohio. Job sucks, girlfriend dumped me you know an ordinary guy. Well the things I’m about to tell you are… how can I say… strange… strange but true. See I’ve never believed in ghosts, monsters under the bed or shit like that. But now I believe in something, wait… wait let me start from the beginning. It was last Saturday afternoon and I was at work as usual slaving over buckets of chicken and fries. My boy Chris hit me up and said he had some sweet tail lined up for the evening and was I down to kick it. Of course I said and asked if I knew any of the chicks. He claimed they were two foreign exchange students from Australia that he bumped off at the bar last night and they invited him to a party. Now you know I had to ask, are they fat? No, no he said their smoking hot and extremely Horney. Cool I said; I get off at 11 pick me up from the house and well ride together. That was when it all started. Eleven o’clock rolled around and I shot home to get ready.  Chris didn’t give me much time to prepare myself he was already outside laying on the horn like a pissed off cabby.

CHRIS: {Yelling to the top of his lungs} Alex man c’mon! These chicks keep blowing me up!

I rushed out and hoped in the car still smelling of chicken fixins.

ALEX: Jeeze man I didn’t even get a chance to pinch a loaf and now I’ve got to hold it tell I get back, I’m prairie dogging here.

CHRIS: You are a sick individual man but listen forget about that…

ALEX: Forget about it yeah right.

CHRIS: Listen duffus, when you see these chicks you’re going to literally crap your pants… Oh, maybe those weren’t the best choice of words to use.

ALEX: No *&^$#@ Sherlock I got to go bad.

CHRIS: Sorry dude its 11:15 and these chicks want us there by 12 on the dot. So hold that crap tell we get there or something.

ALEX: Hold it until we get there? How about I just drop my boxers’ right here and spread hot fudge all over the leather interior? Give you something new to talk about.

CHRIS: Hell no dude that is definitely not an option. Besides girls love it when guys come over and drop Hiroshima in their bathroom.

ALEX: Yeah right.

CHRIS: C’mon man be cool. Here this should make you forget all about that biscuit in the oven. And believe me your going to love this.

Smiling like the cat from Alice in wonderland he passes me some of the finest grass this side of the Mississippi. “That’s what’s up” I think to myself.

ALEX: This better be good.

As took my first drag the choke smoke hit me and immediately I started coughing out of control.

ALEX: What… the hell… is this?

CHRIS: Awl playa that’s just a little sticky icky, icky woo wee!

I slid down in my seat as the buzz took over; yeah I was high as hell. Looking out of the window I noticed that we were getting on the interstate.

ALEX: Hold on man, where do these girls stay?

CHRIS: Well dude they said they got a cabin down by Gaveling Lake outside of town. Why? Did you need to get permission from your mommy to leave the block snuckems?

ALEX: {giving him the finger} No man I just thought they stayed in town that’s all.

CHRIS: Well they don’t, and it’s a good thing too cause it’s going to be wild tonight and I don’t need no cops screwing with my buzz.

ALEX: Yeah I feel you.

















CHAPTER 2

PARTY TIME





We traveled down the interstate about 20 miles until we came to the last exit. Pass that and you’ll be heading out for a 200 mile stretch before you reach the next city. Chris assured me that this was the right way to the cabin even though the road looked like it hadn’t been used in years. I personally had never been this far out into these woods and my dad and I camped out here all the time. It was almost midnight when we pulled up to the cabin with 15 min to spare. Good I thought because as much as I didn’t want to take a crap out here I couldn’t hold it any longer. We pulled up to an old beat-up cottage sitting at a dead end in the middle of nowhere. Something didn’t look quite right to me about this place. There were barely any lights on and not one car was parked outside.

ALEX: You sure this is the place?

CHRIS: Yeah man I got the directions right here.

ALEX: Dude there’s barley any lights on in there and you said the party was supposed to start at 12:00. Where are all the cars?

CHRIS: Maybe we are the first ones here or something, hold on let me call them… no answer; wait there they go.

As I turned around I saw two of the hottest girls I had ever seen in my life. I mean their boobs were like BAM! And their butts were like WHAM! You know what I mean these chicks were slamming. But anyway they were leading a group of people back to the cabin and they were all soaked from head to toe. The other party guests went inside the cabin as the two bombshells approached the car, one on his side and the other on mine.

GIRL 1: Hey Chris your just in time the parties just getting started.

GIRL 2: Yeah, we thought you were going to stand us up and we would have had to entertain ourselves.

CHRIS: Hell no sweet thang I was on my way.

GIRL 2: Who’s your friend? He’s cute.

CHRIS: Yeah baby this is my homie Alex. He kind of shy so he might need one of you ladies to bring him out of his shell ya dig?

GIRL 2: Oh don’t worry ill take real good care of him.

We got out of the car and they proceeded to escort us to the cabin. Music blasted throughout the woods as the door swung open and when we stepped in holy crap, there were people drinking, smoking, whatever you name it. And they were doing it all right there in the middle of the living room floor. This was absolutely the first time I had ever been to a party like this and I was ready to kick it.

GIRL 1: Beers over there and whatever drug is your pleasure are all right here in the middle of this room.

CHRIS: Oh hell yeah! Damn baby you bought all this? Must have set you back big time.

GIRL 1: Don’t worry we have enough of everything to go around and I mean everything so knock yourself out.

Yelling like an adolescent buffalo Chris rips off his shirt and dives face first into a pile of dope.

CHRIS: Whoa!  It’s party time baby! Alex man what are you waiting for?

He is such an idiot, we didn’t even know any of these people and he’s already getting more messed up than he has ever been. That’s when it hit me… I HAVE GOT TO GO IMMEDIATELY!

ALEX: Excuse me baby girl where is your bathroom I’ve got to drain goliath?

GIRL 2: Oh is that right? Do you need some help keeping him at bay?

ALEX: No, no baby girl its cool I got it.

GIRL 2: Ok. It’s right down the hall last door on the left. But make sure you find me if you need some help I’ll be right over here getting all worked up.

ALEX: Oh I’ll be all right baby girl you just enjoy the party and I’ll be right back.

I waddled down the badly decorated hall clinching my cheeks so tight I could have cracked a walnut. Closing the door behind me I frantically unsnapped my belt buckle dropped my drawers and dove for the toilet butt first. Now this had to be a record because it shot out of my butt like a fire hose for at least 20 min; and I was paralyzed like a statue sitting in a fetal position while it ran its course. Then finally relief, sweet relief and no more feeling like my butt was about to explode. I took care of my manly duties and washed my hands as the illustrious ambiance of chili dogs gone badly did a number on my smell receptors; and prepared myself for the night of my life. Looking down at my watch I noticed it was already 12:30.

ALEX:!@#$% man, I’ve been in here for over 30 min. That chick is probably getting it from every guy at the party by now. Oh well I’ll just have to nibble down on one of the other sexy sisters here.







CHAPTER 3

SUPRISE





As I left the bathroom a strange but familiar scent was lingering in the air. It smelled like burnt cigarettes with a hint of rancid meat. “They must have been going strong while I was incognito” I thought to myself.  But when I entered the main room ready to party everyone was gone including Chris. The music was still blasting; drugs and booze were still plentiful but no people.

ALEX: Why would that fat lard just ditch me like that? That’s some bull, he even didn’t say anything.

I searched all around the cabin but there were no signs of anyone. It was like they just disappeared. After exhausting my efforts searching the cabin I stepped outside and seen that Chris’s car was still sitting in the same spot.

ALEX: That fat lard is still here but where? But where is everybody else?

Just then I heard a faint moan coming from a path on the side of the cabin that leads to Gaveling Lake. So I figure they’ve taken the party down to the lake and from the sound of it their doing the do right now. So I knew I had to hurry before all the trim was taken. As I followed the moans of ecstasy down the winding path to the lake I saw the two chicks that invited us. They were down on the bank of the lake showing two random guys the time of their lives if you know what I mean.  But something didn’t seem right. I crouched down and snuck a little closer to get a better look. As I focused in trying to catch a peek like a good little perv, I saw something… weird. The bank of the lake was covered in body parts and what I can just describe as innards. The guys that I thought were living every man’s dreams were being eaten alive by the two chicks. The chicks were straddled over the guys but their bodies were twisted into a horrible form. Their arms and legs resembled squid like tentacles that slithered to and fro as they munched down on their victims; and their heads were no more than loose flaps of skin dangling on the back of nightmarish creatures. In between what use to be torso I could see a disgusting gaping maw that covered the whole area from their stomachs to their chest. The maw or mouth was filled with razor sharp teeth that slowly chomped down on their victims exposed innards. I almost puked when I saw them rip the skin from the bodies tossing it aside like excrement, and continued ferociously devouring the rest of the body parts. Then they disappeared into the lake. My heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest as I high tailed it back to the car. As I Jumped in I realized that Chris had the keys in his shirt pocket. What the hell am I going to do now? But then I started thinking. Chris put the keys in his shirt pocket right before he ripped it off and dove into that pile of dope. The keys have to be in that house. I flew inside and ransacked the ugly little cabin searching hi and low.

ALEX: Bingo!

I found them lying in that pile of dope he dove on and I hurried over and snatch them up, that’s when I heard laughter coming from outside. I ran and hid in the coat closet as soon as the door opened. The sound of girls giggling uncontrollably sparked my curiosity and I took a peek through the keyhole of the door to check it out. It was them… The girls that had invited us here… the girls that just a second ago were blood thirsty monsters. They were back to looking normal… you know hot. So what the hell is really going on right? They drug someone into the room from outside and it was a guy for sure I could tell by his painful groans. They slapped him around for a bit and tortured him severely, starting by cutting off his eyelids so he could watch as they ate his genitals and fingers. Truly a sick moment I assure you. A quick shiver came over me as I could imagine how this guy felt… helpless. Finally they finished him off by ripping out his throat. What a way to go… sad. Now check this out all that killing must have made them extremely randy because they went at it. And when I say went at it; they went at it rolling around in a pool of this poor slob’s blood. Things intensified and the girls made their way to the back bedroom and I knew this was my chance. So I crept out of the closet and made my way for the front door only to find out that their last victim was my friend Chris. I swallowed hard fighting back the tears… he was an ass but he didn’t deserve that. I bolted for the car; hoped in and burned rubber. Looking back was not an option. I headed for the city as fast as I could; I had to tell the police… or tell someone who could help with this kind of crap. Of course the cops didn’t believe me but, because I was so hysterical they went ahead and checked it out anyway. All they found was a ransacked cabin, a crap load of drugs and my dead friend’s body. They assumed the worse and came up with the story of a drug deal that had gone badly, and they did everything in their power to pin the drugs and Chris’s murder on me. I pleaded with them and told my story countless times but instead of giving me a fair shake I was put in jail; then taken to court and sentenced to serve all of my time here in the psychiatric ward of this illustrious state hospital. And that in a nutshell is what happened.

























CHAPTER 4

THERES NO SUCH THING





DOCTOR: Well Mr. Bell it seems that your still convinced that you saw your friend Chris murdered by monsters, is this correct?

ALEX: Look man I know you don’t believe me but it’s true I swear it.

DOCTOR: Mr. Bell we exercise a great amount of patients here, but in order for us to help reform you into an acceptable active member of society we need you to accept the truth.

ALEX: And what’s the truth?

DOCTOR: The truth is that you have experienced hallucinogenic side effects brought on by the ingestion of a powerful narcotic. Ultimately; resulting in a total mental meltdown which sent you into a blind rage, causing you to murder your friend in cold blood.

ALEX: What?! I didn’t kill anybody! You have to believe me!

DOCTOR: Mr. Bell you need to calm down. The fact is your friend is dead and you’re the only suspect.

ALEX: Suspect?! I told you about the girls they’re the ones who did all this!

DOCTOR: Mr. Bell there was no girl or girls, and there is no such thing as monsters, now calm down.

ALEX: Calm down!!@#$% you man! I’m the one stuck in the crazy house and I’m not crazy!

DOCTOR: Nurse!

NURSE 1: Yes doctor.

DOCTOR: Give Mr. Bell here something to help him relax, and I want him prepped for electro therapy. I won’t have him running around here stirring up the other patients.

NURSE 1: Yes doctor.

The hospital staff restrains Alex as the nurse administers a powerful sedative. His vision starts to grow hazy as the effects take hold in a matter of seconds. Taking his last look around the room before he’s completely out, he sees the nurse standing at the foot of his bed smiling at him and updating his chart. He blinked his eyes to gain focus and now there were two nurses at the foot of his bed. Panic overtakes him as he realizes that the two nurses were actually the girls that killed his friend. He opens his mouth and tries to scream but one of the nurses covered it immediately.

NURSE 1: Shhh, don’t worry sweetie well take good care of you.

NURSE 2: Yes we will, and remember when it comes to monsters there’s no such thing.

Alex’s heart pounded hard in chest as the medicine took hold and he drifted off into a new nightmare.









THE END

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