A Random Thought

Over the years, living through so many different days , I have heard so much about myself, from different people , in different situations, that I sometimes wonder which is the real me .. Sometimes there's a constant buzz resonating in my head . It keeps checking on me , waiting to see if I have finally given up on being myself.. At times I feel I've become a murky concoction of the ideas of others, and I wonder if I'm lost .. far away from my beliefs..

The myriad of moments that we live through defines us gradually and incrementally. But these versions of me are sometimes so conflicting that I feel I've buried myself under a million layers.

Which one is the real me? The part of me that crumbles at times , or the part that holds on, the part of me that believes easily or the part that is wary of betrayal, the part of me that worries or the part that is care-free.. the part of me that laughs and shouts amidst a group of friends or the part that silently watches even though no one notices.. the part that others hate or the part I love?

Probably I'm all this .. probably I am what feels right at that moment. But still there's one part that I distinctly know and has remained true to me over the years.. The part that hugs her pillow like an old friend, as she reminisces a worn-out, ragged image of what she once was....