Obsequious: Prison Food

Obsequious ... Where did I hear that word? I think that’s what Larry from A23 was shoutin’ at lunch last week. He got really mad for some reason, started swearin’ and slammin’ on the table with his knife, tellin’ all the guys not to eat the food, callin’ everybody obsequious. I don’t know what that means, though ... obsequious.

They give us two meals a day so we’re always hungry and we eat happy when it’s mealtime. What the hell they feedin’ us though? They make us eat this stuff, stick it on our plates like it’s food, but it’s not food. It can’t be food. Vile purple mass of stuff that looks like food; that’s what it is. I think they like how sad it makes us, how it makes us obsequious. I mean, what’s it come from anyways? Larry from A23 says it comes from some kind of bird somewhere. Some kind of bird? I seen birds. They don’t look like they got much meat on ‘em. Larry’s got books, though—don’t know how he’s got ‘em, but somehow he does. So he’s a smart guy.

I walked up to one of the guards. Big suits they are, all gussied up. Got the name badges and all, like they’re important business. I asked one named Ned once why he stood there all day—I can’t figure that out, they stand there all day, just lookin’ at us. It’s kinda creepy. “What’s this we’re eatin’ here?” I asked him. But Ned just stared straight forward like I wasn’t there. Damn suits.

I went to go sit back down and eat. But Larry got up all angry from his seat. “I can’t take it no more!” he said, throwin’ his food everywhere. And a little bit got on me. The guards brought him out a new tray but he smashed that one too. He kept yelllin’ and stampin’ his feet and callin’ ‘em obsequious. They weren’t happy with Larry. Ned ran up behind him and held Larry’s mouth open. What a terrible guy! Ned said somethin’ to him. Another guard got a piece of food and made Larry eat it. Larry just wriggled around.

They made him eat it. They give us two meals a day so they don’t gotta tell me twice. The wierd thing is cuz Larry just sat back down in his seat and started eatin’ again. “Well what is it, Larry?” I asked him.

“It’s chikkun.” he said, smilin’ as big as he could.

“It’s Chicken ... good ... how’s chikkun, Larry?”

“It’s obsequious good!” he smiled some more. So I tried a bit and then I ate it all.

Then, Ned and the other guards told us to go to bed and I was tired, so I wanted to anyways, on account of all the obsequious food. They take good care of us, those suits. Thanks, Ned.