Pay The Toll & Sell Your Soul

          I saw you this morning, standing outside, staring like you’re neither here nor there.  With blood shot eyes, you didn’t even realize I was there.  Your mind is gone.
So I crossed a dangerous line.  I took a stroll with the devil the other night. Between us not a word was spoken, although there was plenty to be said.  He didn’t have to look at me to know why I was there.  But we both knew I was not ready to pay the toll.
            I heard you screaming in your sleep again.  You were thrashing about like a helpless child.  I could see the sweat running off of your brow.  I grabbed your arms, and you open your eyes.  You looked right through me, like I wasn’t even there. 
            So I crossed that dangerous line again.  I took a dance with the devil last night.  We waltzed across the cold forest floor, where the living died underneath our feet.  Still we did not speak a single word.  This time he looked me in the eye, and he knew why I was there.  But we both knew I still was not ready to pay the toll.
            I didn’t see you at all today.  You had not left your room; you had not made a sound.  I knocked softly, asking if you were okay.  Still there was no answer, so I let myself in. 
            I crossed this dangerous line one final time.  I am taking myself to the devil tonight.  For the first time he makes a sound, an evil shrill laugh fills the air.  He knows why I am here.  I show no fear as I am to sell my soul to pay the toll.  I will give him mine in return for yours. I know I shouldn’t have been here at all, but I chose to keep this hand I had dealt myself.  This is the only way I know how, to ensure your soul will make it out
            I don’t know how long I cried, how long I shook you to wake.  As I lay my head onto your chest, I hear your breath come back.  You look at me with new eyes.  You realized I was there.  I never told you about what I had to do.  When your time comes, I hope you will understand.  When you are waiting to be greeted at the pearly gates, and realize that I am not there, I hope you know, I did it all because I love you.

© Tana Lee Buoy