What a random way to die!

It was the year 1918 just after the First World War and two young men were lying in their train bunks on their way home from the front lines in France.  The first was called Devious Des.  He was a short young man in his mid-twenties with short brown messy hair.  He was called Devious Des because he was constantly getting into trouble but was always able to worm his way out again.  The other was called Dastardly David.  He was also a short young man in his mid-twenties but instead of brown hair his was black like the night and it was short and messy just like Des.  He was called Dastardly David because he tended to be the one who got Des into all the trouble.



Des got up and said “You know what we should do when we get home?  We should go down to the pub and celebrate surviving the war.” David looked at Des as though he had just had the best idea ever and replied “You know what that doesn’t sound like a half bad idea.”  All of a sudden the steam horn went and they both screamed at the top of their voices. “You are such a girl,” said David to Des, “No way. I’m not a girl you totally are!” Des scowled at his friend, who stuck his tongue out at him before jumping back onto his bunk. 



Shortly after there was a loud hammering on the door and the sergeant strode in.  The sergeant was an extremely tall man who towered over David and Des making them feel like they were little shrimps.  The sergeant also had a very short temper and completely hated David and Des because they were always messing around and not doing as they were told. “COME ON PRIVATES, MOVE IT MOVE IT” David and Des looked at each other and Des said “Sounds like we are back in England again.  Home sweet home.” Smiling he started to walk towards the door but David said “Who says you get to leave first?  Move I’m leaving first.”  Pushing Des out of the way, he shoved out and bolted down the corridor.  “Wait for me!!!” Shouted Des and ran down the corridor after him.



They left the station in Leeds and walked straight into the closest pub they could find called Aire of the Dog and ordered pints of beer which they had not been allowed on the front lines.  After three hours of drinking they were completely and utterly drunk and decided to walk home. As they were walking home they couldn’t walk in a straight line for more than three seconds before they were stumbling all over the place.  Their home was at one of the local army bases called the Stars and Stripes.  They were almost there when David dared Des to walk out into the middle of the road but Des said “I’ll only do it if you do it if you do it as well!!”  So they both walked out into the middle of the road, they were flattened!  They had not heard the tank come along the road just behind them.