Into the Dark - Chapter 1

You were the last thing I thought of before I blacked out. Its always you. In every thought, and every dream....

The phone buzzed. I heard the answering machine kick on. “Hey, its me. We still on for tomorrow night?” I faded back into the darkness.

“Hey Jonah, I haven’t heard from you in a couple days.. making sure every things okay.” More noise, loud enough to wake me for a moment. A male voice this time. I passed back out.

“Bub, I can’t get a hold of you. Collin said he couldn’t either.” Ringing, followed by more voices. Familiar, my sister perhaps, I could not tell before I faded out.

“Jonah, your sister said she hasn’t heard from you? Babe, please call me back. I’ll stop by later tonight. Please call back..” That was your voice. The last thing I remember hearing.

I couldn’t remember what day it was when I woke up. I remember the smell of stale alcohol and vomit. How long have I been passed out? There was a pounding in my head that wouldn’t quit. Then voices were thrown into the mix. I knew I wasn’t totally sane, but I was sane enough not to hear voices. I slowly guided myself to the door and tugged it open.

“I got half a mind to kick your arse right now, Jonah!” boomed a voice, forcing the door open the rest of the way. I stumbled back and found the pack of cigarettes in my shirt pocket and started to light one.

“Calm down, Collin.” I blew out the smoke, sitting on the arm of my sofa. “I’m alive.”

“Calm down?” he echoed in such an accent, you’d think we were back home in Ireland instead of New York. “We’ve only been trying to find you for four days, brother. You would know, if you would ever pick up a phone.”

I loved my brother dearly, but I was loosing my patience with his lecturing. I sat in silence focusing on keeping the room from spinning while he stared at me. “Collin, I shouldn’t be here.”

“You gone mad, man? Shouldn’t be here? What are you talking about?” It was for less than a second that I caught his eye, but it was long enough for me to see the mix of sadness and recognition. His eyes followed mine to what lay on the floor. Everything started spinning faster.

“What happened here?”

“I tried, I don’t think it worked.” I meant to say with assertion and strength but it came out as a mere mumble. The ceiling was caving in, the walls falling on me.

“Jonah, are you alright? Jonah!”. But I was already gone, falling backward into the darkness.



I’m so thirsty. I tried to speak, but realized I had only spoke aloud in my mind. My lips never moved. I exhaled and could see the cold make my breathe visible, yet I wasn’t cold in the least. My eyes started to focus on the walls around me, surprised that they no longer danced and swayed. The chemicals in the IV stuck in my arm drugged me enough so I wasn’t able to loose my temper. I tried to rip the IV out anyway. It infuriated me worse to find I was so weak and drugged I had lost all my strength; I could barely lift my arm, let alone focus my fingers enough to rip the IV out. I then heard the door open and shut hastily.

“Ma, Uncle Jonah is awake! Ma!” called a child's voice trailing behind the hurried footsteps.

“Aye, dear. Go on outside with your sister and play.”

I groaned and let my body go limp on the bed. This was all too much. I couldn’t tell what was from the liquor, the drugs, or the thirst.

“I was beginning to wonder when you’d come around.” Emily O’Donoghue said, worry masked underneath her thin lips. Whereas I may have been the ghostly image of my father, my sister was the complete reincarnation of our mother.

“Water?” I spoke weakly. She frowned, but then quickly tried to rearrange her face to hide it the expression.

“Jonah, I don’t really think that’s what you need right now.” She sat down at my bedside and brushed my too long hair out of my forehead like our mother used to do. For the first time I realized that thick curtains hung over the windows, letting no sunlight in, and making the room pitch black. I could still see all the details of the room perfectly. “Perhaps we should wait for Collin and Daniel?”

“No.” I cleared my throat, trying to make my voice stronger. “I have to go.”

I struggled to raise up but there was too much pain and disorientation. “You’re in no condition to be going anywhere. You lay down and rest til the boys get here.”

I gave up my resistance. Secretly, I knew I couldn’t have made it off the bed. “Yes Ma’am.”

She smiled faintly. “Good.” I thought she would leave me but she hesitated. “Get some rest, they’ll be here soon.”

It seemed like the drugs were beginning to wear off and I was regaining focus on the world around me. Now that I was able form a coherent thought, a thousand things started racing through my mind. I wanted to just rest and drift off to sleep and not think of all the madness turning cogs inside my head but it was far too late for that now.

My throat was so dry, it was almost impossible to not think on how thirsty I was every few seconds. It felt as though someone had taken sandpaper and rubbed it against the inside of my throat until nothing was left. Then the crunch of a tire on gravel caught my ear. Someone was pulling into the driveway and minutes later, my sister greeted them at the door. Impossible as it might have been, I heard their hushed whispers from across the house.

“It’s been too long Daniel” my sister cried, and I could only imagine her hugging him tightly as I was most certain she was.

“Indeed so, Emily.” the deep baritone voice of my eldest brother echoed in reply. “Tell me, what happened here?”

“I don’t really know, Danny. He hasn’t said much at all.”

“I found him three days ago. He hasn’t drank anything in over a week.” Collin explained. I understood they were talking about me. “Unless, you have got him too?”

“No.” I heard the guilt in my sisters voice. She lowered her voice “He’s getting worse, Daniel. Please help him.”

Silence then footsteps fell down the hall of my sisters home. Whatever seriousness they had conveyed on their faces earlier, they now tried to cover with too cheerful smiles and simple concern as they opened the door and came inside my little room.

It had been five years since I had seen my eldest brother, but he hadn’t changed in the least. His very presence demanded attention and respect. He was dressed down in what he thought was casual attire, looking spotless in his tailored black suit. He seemed the very definition of strength and power, with an unusual darkness in his eyes that were enough to scare anybody. It was why I never looked him in the eye for long. While the rest of us had taken fondly to the life in New York City, Daniel was content as ever to practice law in Dublin. The last time he had flown to the States was for my high school graduation.

“Danny.” I couldn’t help but smile.

“Jonah!” he boomed, shaking the bed. “Don’t take offense brother, but you look like Hell.”

We all laughed, before an awkward silence rested on the room. “I’ll just go put on a kettle then.” Emily excused herself. The lightness on their faces had left now and had been replaced with a deep seriousness. Collin sat down on my bedside while Daniel made two great strides over to the shielded windows. With one great tug, he ripped down the thick curtains and let the sunshine poor in and over me.

My entire body burned like someone set millions of matches to every exposed part of my flesh. I writhed in pain and the movement made my stomach churn nauseously. I felt ice cold tears roll down my cheek which only made all the burning intensify.

“Daniel!” Collin jumped up and tried to block me from the sun, covering what exposed portions of my skin he could with blankets. “You’re killing him. Close the damn curtain!”

“He’ll adapt to it in a few years.” Daniel said as calmly as if he was reading the Sunday Paper. “Best he understands now, so he has no doubts.” He finally put the thick curtain back in place, restoring me peace. I was breathing heavily as I lay back on the bed. It was then I realized I couldn’t feel my heart pounding the way it should have been. “At first the skin is so sensitive that the light burns the flesh. In time, it will grow to only a minor irritation and then he won’t be bothered at all.”

“Whats wrong with me?” I moaned, still aching and exhausted. Silence.

“Maybe this was a bad idea.” Collin stammered.

As if on cue, Emily returned with a tray. “Daniel, I wasn’t sure,” she paused awkwardly “will you be taking tea?” Daniel let out a wide grin.

“Of course sister.” He accepted the cup and drained its contents in a single sip. “Thank you, kindly.”

I felt my mouth watering at the thought of something to drink. Like she had read my mind, my sister sat by my side and brought a cup up to my lips. I could taste the sweet taste of tea, smell its faint aroma and enjoy its unique flavor, but it did not quench the thirst in my throat. It felt like the liquid never quite made it to my stomach, as if it had dissolved before it reached my abdomen. I waited for the warm tea to make its way to my stomach and warm my empty body, but it never did.

“That’s not going to help you, brother.” Daniel said grimly, for the first time since his arrival, letting me see how serious the situation really was. I groaned.

No, no, no! Not this. Anything but this...

“Jonah, a week ago you overdosed.” Collin said softly but more sternly than I had ever heard my jester of a brother speak. “That was four days before I found you.”

“No.” I searched the faces of my siblings, expecting some cruel joke to be revealed. I started to panic more, but yet I still couldn’t feel my heart thumping in my chest as it should have been. Even Emily, my sweet, dear, loving sister could not bring herself to meet my eyes. Her faced reeked of guilt and sorrow. Surely there was some mistake?

“Yes, Jonah.” a cold voice soothed. Daniel folded his heavy arms across his chest and narrowed those fearful eyes onto me. “You died.”

“I can’t be dead! I’m here! Talking and speaking to all of you.”

“I suppose technically, dead wouldn’t be the correct word. More like you transitioned into the next phase of your being.” Daniel spoke thoughtfully, as though this was something that he had pondered on frequently.

“Jo, you know we come from a cursed bloodline. You remember Pa’s stories?” Collin spoke sympathetically now, but leaving no room for question or doubt.

“They were always just stories, Collin. Just stories to scare us kids.” I started to panic, to rationalize everything they were saying. Trying to escape the nonsense and find truth in reality. My mind scattered to all possible, realistic, explanations. “You can’t really believe, none of you really believe that I died.”

“I found the letter you left behind.” Silence, a wary pause. “You don’t have a pulse.”

“I’m not dead.” Please, just let my heart start pounding loud and clear. Let me know its still beating. Nothing. “I’m not some blood hungry monster.”

“Jonah, I don’t think it’s like that.” Emily tried to sooth the panic in me. “If it hadn’t happened before, I wouldn’t believe it either. You’re not a monster, brother.”

“Before?”

Daniel cleared his throat, and for the first time, he seemed actually hesitant and nervous. The cogs began to turn and details and clues started piecing together. “Perhaps it would be best if I talked to our brother alone?”

“Aye.” Collin agreed as he ushered our sister out of the room. No doubt he would be listening very carefully on the other side of the door.

I knew the truth, but I didn’t want to believe it. The part of your mind that knows the things that are left unspoken, no matter how horrible they are screamed at me to accept it. I couldn’t refuse for much longer.

“Daniel, please. Make sense of all this for me.”

“Jonah, I can’t begin to tell you how lovely it is to see you all again. I have sincerely missed my kin.” He shifted his weight nervously and worked up the nerve to get to the gist of the conversation. “Do you remember the last time I seen you?”

“My graduation?”

“Aye. Well, that Daniel, the young man who came to see his youngest brother graduate, he died.” I started to protest but before I could muster a retort he silenced me with his hand. “Please. Let me explain.

Jonah, I never made it home to Dublin. My plane crashed. I died in that crash.”

“How, how is that possible?”

“Dear brother, I have pondered that very question more nights than I care to remember. I have yet to find a logical answer.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary when the plane took off on the last leg of my flight. Mind you, I wasn’t paying much attention. I was exhausted from the entire trip. But I don’t really think anyone noticed anything wrong.

It was sometime after midnight that I felt the turbulence start. It wasn’t much but it was enough to arouse me from sleeping. Most other passengers around me still slept silently. I envy those who slept through the ordeal; how peaceful would it be to die while in slumber?” He paused and let his thoughts take over him. It was only after a moment or so that I shifted in my bed that he was snapped back to reality and continued. “Aye, Jonah, regardless of what I say, or how you choose to explain the rationality behind this, we are who we are. You have not lost yourself.”

“What about the crash?”

“Oh, we’ll finish that story another time. I feel it is too morbid to discuss right now, brother.”

“Daniel?”

“Hm?” He toyed with the cuff links on his shirt. Avoiding my eyes, still lost in thought.

“I’m thirsty.” I admitted reluctantly. Deep in my heart, I knew what had happened. Daniel knew, as it had happened to him, and I could see the grief in his dark, frightening eyes.

“Yes, well, you have to decide what you wish to do about that.” his voice turning the coldest I had ever heard it.

“You’re okay with it?”

“Dear brother, just because we cannot die, does not give us a reason to torture ourselves into madness. You will get thirsty and you will have to drink.” He leaned closer and looked me dead in the eyes. “Pa’s stories were not always very accurate. You are still Jonah, and that will not change!

Drink this.” My brother pulled out a flask and held it to my lips. It was ice cold to the touch but that's the last thing I thought about as my sip turned into a hearty gulp.

I imagine if I was a man lost at sea for many days, perhaps even months and upon stepping foot onto the hard earth, what that first step must feel like; the pure elation, joy and comfort that must accompany it, it would not be half of the relief that I experienced now. Or should I be forgotten in some distant desert without water for many, many hours and after receiving my first sip from a kind stranger could not hold even a small flicker of a flame to how I felt now. It was perhaps the most desired feeling one could yearn for. As if every cell that constructed me all sang songs of praise at the mere touch of the liquid to my dry lips.

I drained the flask but still desired more. Not like my desire had been before, no, not near what it had been previously. The pain I felt had eased, my mind was sharper and more aware, my strength had started to return to my muscles, and I no longer felt the fear that I might be dying. It was a miracle, to say the least.

“You will need much more, to properly heal, but it is a start, brother.” Daniel tucked the flask back into his jacket. “I have seen to it that a supply has been acquired which should hold you over for the time being. But, now that the darkest matters have been taken care of, we can move onto happier agendas!”

After hearing their cue to enter, Emily and Collin opened the door with bright smiles on their faces. It hadn’t occurred to me what day it was until I saw that Collin carried a cake as he entered.

“Happy birthday, Jonah.” my sister gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek unexpectedly. I realized how difficult it must have been to see me lying here on deaths door, even though I couldn’t really die.

“We made a cake,” Collin glanced at Daniel for an answer to the invisible question he pondered. “I hope that was okay?”

“Of course. Just because we do not need to eat, doesn’t mean we cannot enjoy the flavor.” Daniel said, lighter than expected, and relief flooded every ones face. “And what person, would take chance at passing up something Emily has cooked?”