The Soul Searcher

         
Volunteer Attempts Suicide in Maternity Ward
October 15, 2011 8:51 PM

REDDING, CA – Good Samaritan Medical Center is being investigated after Sean Gortwin, a local medical student at UC Davis and volunteer at the hospital, attempted suicide by cutting his wrists in the maternity ward.

Gortwin was found by a nurse, whose name has been withheld by police, after she entered an empty maternity room.

From the nurse’s statement: “It sounded like someone moving a bed and I knew the room was empty. I went in there expecting to see a patient’s family member … when I noticed the boy’s body on the ground and the pool of blood.”

Redding police say they are unable to talk to Gortwin, who is in critical condition, though expected to live.
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Dear Humanity,

I always knew about my great uncle the mortician, or more exactly the embalmer and funeral parlor owner, but until he died I did not know the horrible truth he kept hidden and is now mine to also keep hidden. This post as proof, he did a better job.

If you want to know about me, click this link, but I am no one in this story. If you want to know the horrible truth, keep reading. That being said, you shouldn’t. You should close this window and go about your life. Really, you should find a competent web programmer and disable this page and scrub the web for any reference … and disable them as well. You should hide this secret for all time and, like me, hope that no one else reads this. That no one else knows. As far as I can tell, I am the only living person who knows this truth at this point. But I cannot keep it to myself. Eventhough I know that it will change the world. No, I am not being overly dramatic. You will look at your family differently. You will look at your neighbors and community leaders differently. You will even look at your pets differently. That is, if you get good news. If you get bad news, then, well I can only imagine.

My great uncle died and left my Dad and I a small funeral parlor in Winslow Arizona. The manager and office staff there are competent and, since my great uncle was only really covering the full time embalmer while she was on vacation or out sick, the place runs fine without him. So, my Dad left it be, took over the accounting, which was surprisingly organized, and nine month’s passed. Until I decided to visit.

I found the note in a drawer of his personal effects in the cubbyhole that was great uncle’s office. The note was a formula. And how to interpret the results, which were simply positive and negative.

I knew there was a formula, since in his suicide note, which I should have mentioned earlier, he cryptically referred to this formula and how he could not live after learning the results.

It’s a fairly simple blood test and, of course, I performed it immediately, with the embalmer present in the room.

She told me earlier that great uncle did blood tests on all the corpses, but would never tell her what he was testing.

“Didn’t that seem odd to you?” I asked.

“Far less odd than much of what I see,” the embalmer responded.

My results were positive.

“What did you learn?” she asked.

“Positive,” I replied.

“Is that good or bad?” She did not look up from her work.

“Supposedly good.”

“No idea what he was testing for,” she said. “I don’t think we spent more than five minutes together since I started working here three years ago.”

Sitting here, I cannot recall the rest of the conversation. The next thing I can remember is being back in my hotel room, staring at the unmoving ceiling fan, wondering what my life would now be like knowing I had proof positive I had a soul. And that, according to my great uncle’s research, this was a recessive trait.

So I did what you would do.

When I got back home, I remember none of the long drive, I tested my Dad. Positive, of course. But this was only one data point showing that it was recessive. No way to test my mother or sister, so that was it for my family. But I tested our cat (American Wirehair) and have the new scar to prove it. Negative. I tested the neighbor’s dog (Collie Husky mix) and it was positive. Another cat (Tabby) positive. Though I was lucky, since most of th pets, and animals, I tested afterwards were negative.

What I did next was truly aful, looking back. The mistake that ended my life.

Three weeks ago, September 28th, I volunteered in the hospital, maternity ward. To get blood, of course. Easy to get a volunteer job here, since my Dad and I both are in the medical field. I’m here whiel I write this, in fact. And will kill myself here after hitting submit.

Walking by the nursery, looking at the rows of babies and knowing. Knowing if they had souls. And their mothers. Knowing that, too. Less idea about all the fathers, but in some cases I did know. Look at how punnet squares work in this chart here. Substitute Tt’s for Ss’s.

These people … are they people? … fathers and mothers talking to me, asking me concerned questions, as if I, a volunteer could predict their newly born (or soon to be born) child’s fate. And knowing more than they expected. Does it really matter if your baby goes to Harvard when it doesn't have a soul. Yes, it. It. When it, not he or she, doesn't have a soul. A nursery full of its. So few have souls! IT It it It!

So … How can I live with this knowledge? How could anyone? I don't know.

Goodbye. See you againsoon, Dad. Unsure who else we won't see again, though only two of the babies in the nursery at the present time will be there with us. Horrible. I told you so!

With hope that no one has read this far,

I no longer remain,
Sean Gortwin


         

Unapproved Blood Tests in Maternity Ward
October 16, 2011 9:33 AM

REDDING, CA – Good Samaritan Medical Center is in the center of a firestorm and protest as residents learned that Sean Gortwin, a volunteer in the hospital’s maternity ward, had in his possession more than a dozen blood tests when he attempted suicide.

Gortwin, who is in critical condition following his attempted suicide in an unoccupied maternity room in the hospital’s maternity ward on the evening of Saturday, October 15, is presently unable to be interrogated.

The spokeswoman for Good Samaritan Medical Center said the hospital was not able to comment on the specifics of the investigation at this time, but would hold a press conference and issue a statement once they had more details.

She cautioned the public from overreacting, since the volunteer had only been at the hospital for three weeks and had “…very limited and continually supervised access to patients.” According to the spokeswoman, “Hospital volunteers have absolutely no access, none whatsoever to the nursery or newborn children.”

Redding Police Capt. John Upton said that at this point they do not know if the blood tests were from patients at Good Samaritan or if Gortwin, a second-year medical student at UC Davis, simply had them in his possession.

Police and government medical investigators have placed the hospital’s maternity ward under lockdown. Current patients will be allowed to remain at the hospital for the duration of their hospital stays, but no new patients are being admitted. “Until we can conclude our investigation, expectant parents should make plans to give birth at another local hospital,” explained Capt. Upton.

With the exception of the maternity ward, Good Samaritan remains open as normal, though patients and especially visitors should expect to face tighter security.

>Related story: Volunteer Attempts Suicide in Maternity Ward