Changes

Jack went up the hill, Jill stood there for an eternity then Jack went down, shall I begin again. My mate Jack went up the hill to find the lavvy, unlucky sod it was locked, he needed to change his clothes and have a pee. The pee was easy he used the wall at the back screened by the line of trees. Changing clothes could be the same, down went his sports bag and out came his joggers in a beautiful sky blue pink with purple polka dots an amazing technicolour display, the little silver sequinned top was patterned in glittering rainbow swirls.

He pulled down his trousers in the half light of the moon, having kicked off his sneakers, he pulled his sweater over his head and stood there all pale and interesting as the moon bathed him in its glow. Out of his bag a strip of material he pulled and proceeded to don them, a g-string pouch to delight, well just to delight.
He pulled up his joggers, they fitted where they touched, leaving his studded navel on full view his sequinned top fitted like a bustierre, all laces and red ribbons nestled in the sequins. Last of all he squeezed his number 10’s into the flimsy four inch heeled sandals.

He really was a frightful sight because he was still a man with all the attributes that go with his maleness. Then if you add a fine layer of body hair over chest and abdomen, well I am sure you can imagine the sight, I can, and I still shiver at the memory. Jack was blind to the image he presented as he pushed his trousers and sweater and his manly shoes into the empty sports bag.

At this point in time I am not sure of his motives, is he on the trawl for a man to spend the night with? Does he want to attract the local vampires for a quickie in the bushes? Or maybe he was waiting for the cross eyed werewolf that frequented the woods at full moon.

Suddenly Sid the vampire dropped down from the tree above righted himself, he was a curious being very courteous and before taking his nightly dose of o-neg he would, with a pronounced lisp, ask for permission to try a little quarter pint.

“You lookth good enoufth to eatth tonith.”

“Ello mate.” Said Jack

“Thidth ith my namth, can I hath a bith tonith?”

“Sure, why not?” suiting actions to words he offered his neck.

Not long after, Sid flew off, his belly full of a rare and tasteful ~A~ that made his night. Jack stood there still, why I’m still not sure, but maybe it was the silvered fur of the big bad wolf who came trotting up the path from the paddock below. He sniffed and he snarled reminding Jack of a snuffling puppy dog with ever waving curly tail.

Dilbert, the cross eyed werewolf, padded around old Jack’s kaleidoscope legs wobbling on the flimsy sandals, he felt a little light headed still from his encounter with Sid. Dilbert was getting conflicting information his eyes were a no-no but his nose was the best in the business, he could smell the musk of a man, but under that on a more primeval level, he was a most educated werewolf, was a woman!

Dilbert didn’t know what he should do now, eat the dainty dish or shag it?

He decided he could, of course, do both eat the top and shag the bottom, but then of course he would have to decide which way round. He could shag first, then chomp the top, or begin on the top and munch until he got to the waist and shag the body before finishing up on the tasty hams, but if he did that his belly would be full and he wouldn’t be able to get it up. Decisions, decisions, oh what a to do!
He licked the bare flesh of an ankle looking for inspiration, none was forthcoming, he stood on his hind legs and rested his fore paws on the shoulders and licked the still bleeding puncture marks.

~Oh bugger, old lisping Sid has been here, I am offskie.~

Alone at last Jack stood there before moving to the front of the lavvy building, once again he stood, brought a hand up to shield his eyes, what for is anyone’s guess, it was the middle of the night after all. He moved his head from left to right scanning the horizon, pondering the meaning of life and his especially. Down went his hand and he wobbled his way back to the trees and his bag.

He did the reverse of his arrival and shed the gaudy feminine attire, standing in the moonbeams for an eternity that lasted a full second, the he donned his ~normal~ manly attire.

Aeons passed as he stood beneath the trees, he couldn’t contemplate his naval it was now covered by his navy sweater, but coming to a stop his brain prompted him to return down the hill.

Jack was Jack again and in 28 days he would be back tempting fate, tempting the wolf, capitulating to the vampire. Was he insane you ask? Well don’t ask me, I’m the nutter swinging from branch to branch being an orang-utan, all ginger hair flowing and billowing in the breeze!!!