Regression

         The sun was shining at Francisco homes in Bulacan.  The neighborhood was quiet except for the birds chirping in the trees.  All the houses looked the same: bungalow style and one story high. But one stood out among the others.  This was a two-storied house painted light blue.  It had white windows and a heavy wooden front door.  There was a terrace facing the street and a garden in the back filled with orchids and a guyabano tree in the left corner.  Upstairs, Iris Caryas, fifteen years old, lay in bed listening to her mom downstairs in the kitchen and her sister singing ‘You Are the Music In Me” at the top of her lungs.  Iris got up and rubbed her eyes.  She finger combed her black shoulder-length hair and her dark brown eyes scanned her room.  It was a mess.  She decided to clean her room.  Afterwards, she changed into a white shirt and black shorts.  Checking the mirror to see if she had slimmed down overnight and poking at the prominent mole under her left eye, she grabbed her cell phone and went downstairs.

         “Good morning,” greeted her mom who was in a pink blouse and pants with a yellow apron. Her dark curls complimented her fair skin and light brown eyes.  Iris was about to sit down when dad appeared with Lia, her younger sister in tow.  Lia was twelve, and looked exactly like dad.  They had the same thick, straight black hair, black eyes, straight nose and full lips.  Lia was still in her pink hearts pajamas while dad, in a red shirt and blue jeans, sat staring at mom as if mesmerized.  Iris wanted to glare at him, but mom had already made it clear that there will be no glaring at the table.  Everyone started eating.  Mom fussed over dad which made Iris wonder how they can act so normal.  Like as if nothing was wrong.  How can they live in a bubble? Iris thought, watching dad laugh at something Lia said.

         She remembered the night she had overheard her parents arguing, three weeks ago.  It was already 10 o' clock in the evening when she heard voices.  She didn't want to eavesdrop but her room was next to theirs.  She lay in bed, listening.
         "Rogelio, I saw you this morning when I went to the grocery.  You were walking with someone.  I don't think I've met her."
         "Oh! That's just Janet.  She's my classmate back in high school."
         "She's a friend? How can you say that when I saw you holding her hand and kissing her on the lips?" mom suddenly accused.
         "Amanda! I told you she's just a friend! We saw each other by accident! We haven't seen each other for years so we decided to take a stroll and chat!"
         "Oh really? You were kissing her!"
         "For God's sakes, you're making this into something it's not!"
         "Am I? We have been married for sixteen years and I know when you are lying to me! You can't fool me! I know you have a relationship with her.  Pareng Tommy told me about her.  he told me everything so stop denying!" mom yelled.
         "Wh-what??!? Tommy..."
         "Yes, he did and he said you've been seeing her for two months now," mom started to cry.  "How can you do this?"
         "Calm down, you know that's not true!"
         "I can't believe you! You're still denying everything after I already caught you!"
         "Alright, I admit it,seeing that I can't keep this a secret anymore! yes, she's my mistress! Are you happy now?' dad snapped.
         "But why would you do something like that?" asked mom.
         "let's forget about it okay? Let's just go to sleep."
         "No, I can't.  Just tell me.  Please..."
         That's when Iris decided not to listen anymore.  She put her pillow down to her ear, wanting to forget what she just heard.  Tears prickled in her eyes and feeling cold, she cried herself to sleep.

         Saint Mary's School was located in the innermost part of Francisco homes.  It was one of the private schools in the area with low tuition fee.  the stage was white opposite the gate which was painted dark blue and white, the school colors.  There were trees planted all along the edge of the quadrangle and at the entrance of the canteen.  Beside it was the gym.  The school office, teacher's lounge and library were situated on the left side of the gate, facing the laboratories.
         Iris wanted to finish high school already, so she can forget about it.  She really wasn't bullied.  She just doesn't fit in with the kids in her class, who were all about having fun.  They ignored her because she's always sad and serious.
         She was lucky to have found someone who cares about her.  Mylene Banua, her best friend since preschool.  She was dark skinned, had long straight black hair, round eyes, small nose and thin lips.  She was the only one who understands her.  She was tall as Iris, but where Iris was chubby, Mylene was thin with long arms.  School was a lot more bearable with her.
         It was only seven thirty in the morning but noise can already be heard in room 13.  There were crumpled papers and candy wrappers strewn on the floor.  The brown door, which had the name "3rd Year Queen of Mercy" was open wide and the ceiling fans were turned up to number three, fanning around the room.  There were drawings of smileys on the blackboard.  At the front row, girls were gossiping and talking about the latest fashions.  A group of boys at the corner of the room was horsing around.  At the other side, in the middle row, a boy was playing the guitar.  Some of the students were studying and some were busy copying assignments from each other.  At the back of the room, Iris was crying.  Mylene was beside her, patting her back.
         "I don't want to see mom and dad pretend anymore! I'm so sick of them! Iris sobbed.  "Dad always bring presents whenever he's home.  Yesterday he gave me a dream catcher necklace.  I wanted to hurl it at his face at that time! I could just kill him when he smiled at me!"
         Iris couldn't go on.  She was too choked up with anger.  Mylene didn't say anything.  A paper airplane sailed above their heads.  Suddenly, loud laughter erupted from the first row.  They both looked at the girls, then Mylene handed Iris her handkerchief.  Iris took it and wiped her tears.  She looked around the room.  Everybody was so busy with themselves.  No one even went to ask her what's wrong. 
         Mylene read her mind.  She hugged Iris and said, "Don't worry about them.  I'm here."
         The bell rang for first class.

         Sunday noon, Iris found dad and Lia watching Spongebob Squarepants together. 
         "Iris, come here," dad called, beckoning to the seat beside him.  Iris obeyed reluctantly.
         "Where have you been, ate?" Lia asked from dad's other side.
         "At Mylene's.  We had to finish our oral report for English' she lied, turning her attention to the screen.  She couldn't very well tell them she was there because she wanted to get away from the house.  Lia was hugging dad, which made her angry. 
         It was clever of mom and dad to tell Lia why dad never comes home everyday.  They told her that he was still in the Luzon Insurance company but he was transferred to Fairview.  He had to stay in an apartment, so he doesn't have to travel far to go to work.  This was a total lie.  Iris wanted to tell Lia everything but thought better of it.  After a few minutes, she stood up and went upstairs. 
         Passing by her parent's bedroom, she saw mom looking at the cabinet.  She looked at the door and saw Iris standing there.  "Oh, you're home." She turned back to the cabinet.
         "Have you seen my black dress? Your dad said we'll be going out to dinner next week."
         "Mom, you shouldn't believe him.  I'm sure dad's money came from that Janet."
         "Iris! Be quiet! Your dad can hear you!" mom whispered.
         "Mom, there's no secret anymore! Dad told me everything, remember? And he told you about me knowing," she said. 
         Iris remembered the day dad told her about Janet.  It was after three days since she heard them arguing.  Dad told her she should know the truth since he suspected Iris already know, what with him and mom arguing all the time.  He had met her when he was sent by the company to Carmen heights in Fairview to talk to a client.  The client turned out to be Janet's dad.  They were filthy rich and the client introduced them.  Dad fell in love with her and has been seeing her ever since.  Janet was thirty years old and unmarried.  Iris wondered if money was the reason dad fell in love with the woman.  But she couldn't ask him because she was beginning to hate the conversation.  Iris had never seen Janet and had no desire to see her.  And if by chance she did, she wouldn't know how to stop herself from killing her. 
         "So where do you think we'll be going on Saturday?" asked mom, ignoring her.  Suddenly, she exploded. 
         "Mom, you're so stupid! He cheated on you!"
         "Iris! Don't use that tone of voice with me! And how dare you say I'm stupid! I'm your mother!"
         "You're being blind! Dad chose that woman over us!"
         "Stop it, young lady, don't shout!" mom was angry now.
         "Why? You're making dad take you for granted by letting him do as he please!"
         Then mom grew quiet.  "Please, I can't..I don't want to talk about this anymore..."
         Seeing that her mom turned away, she knew that the conversation was finished.  Frustration was building inside her.
         "Go to bed,'' mom told her tiredly.  "You've got school tomorrow."

         The next morning, Iris went to Mylene's house.  When Mylene opened the door, Iris announced "I'm not going to school today" with a serious face.
         "Why?" Mylene asked.  "Not again! you've already been absent four times! You won't pass third year if you keep up with this!"
         'I don't care! Why go to school anyway? My parents are idiots, only caring about themselves so they might as well have an idiot child!"
         "You're not an idiot.  You're just..I don't know..Lazy!" Mylene smiled teasingly.
         "Mylene!" even though Iris was serious, she couldn't help smiling at what her best friend said.
         "See? You're smiling! Go to school okay?"
         "Ha! Just because you made me smile doesn't mean I'll give in." Mylene knew that when Iris decided to do something, there was no changing her mind.  Giving up, Mylene sighed.  "Okay.  Where are you going to hang out this time?"
         "I'll surf the 'net at Blitz.  Just tell me what you did in class tomorrow, okay? Bye!"

         Iris' mom and sister were at Lia's friend's party some blocks away from their house.  It was Saturday afternoon and Iris was alone in the house with dad.  He was in the living room cleaning his new leather shoes.  I bet their a gift from his mistress, she thought, watching him from the garden.  The phone rang.  Dad  went to answer it.  Iris listened then heard the name Janet. 
         Okay, that's it.  She got up and rushed to the kitchen. 
         "Dad! How can you let that woman call here?  doesn't she have any shame? I hate you! I hate the way you come here and pretend we're still one big happy family! You only think about yourself!" she shouted.  "What about us, dad? Don't you love us anymore?" She was crying.
         Dad was startled.  He was trying to hang up the phone but couldn't.
         "Iris, honey.." hanging up finally, he reached for her.  But she turned and run upstairs to her room, slamming the door shut.  Iris flopped on her bed and let the tears fall...

         "When she woke up the next morning, she found her mom in the living room. 
         "Mom, what is it? Iris stood looking at the woman she had hated but now pitied.  She looked so sad, Iris thought.
         "You're dad left, when you and Lia were still asleep.  He said he wanted to be with Janet for good.  You're dad's really in love with her.  I didn't want to let him go.  It was so hard! I wanted to beg him to stay but..he told me he doesn't love me anymore!" her mom's voice broke.  "I don't want to live without him! I can't!"
         Iris was silent.  She wanted to find a way to comfort the woman in front of her so much but all she can do was hug her. I was selfish, Iris thought.  All I cared about was myself.  I never even stopped to think what mom must have felt, how lonely and hurt she was when found out about dad.  It must have been hard for her to see him love someone else.
         "Everything's going to be okay mom, I promise.  We can live without him.  I love you mom.."
         "I-I'll try.."answered mom weakly.
         "we'll try together, okay?" Iris said.  Mom nodded tearfully.
         Don't worry mom, Iris said to herself. I know it's going to be hard when days pass when we'll still feel the pain.  But we'll help each other.  He may have broken us but he made us stronger and much closer.  I know the scar will be there, reminding us of what happened.  But we'll learn to live without him.  We'll learn to forgive dad.  Maybe.