Letters from my broken heart to my first love. |
We seem to have gotten lost along the way. I am still trying to remember exactly when I lost your hand, though I know that I had lost my mind long before that. Where did you go? Where did you sleep? Are you as lonely as I? I had never been in love, never known love until we met. That fateful night when you grabbed me & kissed me. Without even saying a word before. It was then, that I fell in love with you. For losing you, I have none other to blame than myself. And I try to forgive. The abused became the abuser. A statistic. A hollow shell of my former self. It is fast approaching 7 months since you left me. And my love for you grows stronger every day. How does one let go? From the bottom of my broken heart, believe me when I say that I never meant to hurt you. Be it intentional or not, you became collateral damage in the wreckage that was my life. This is my only regret. Every time that I hit you. Controlled you. Abused you. Laughed at you. Degraded you. I was never truly lashing out at you… but at me. You were my perfect little punching bag. If I could have but one wish, it would be to start our relationship over again. I would have done it all differently. And you would still be here with me. I will always love you. If home is where the heart is, than you are my home. And I’m tired. I’d like to rest now. Smell you sweet scent on our bedsheets. You were my little spoon. And I miss you. I’m Sorry. |