scared of love&what people will think

Why do I care about what my family and friends think about the things I do, maybe its because I don't think they'll have a clue about what I'm going through.

I flirt and chat with guys when I am out and about drinking, I end up doing things with out thinking that I am not proud of. But its because I'm always praying above that I'll find that perfect love but I'm always getting a shove led on by hopeless quotes to get me into bed promising love.

Then I'll meet a guy who will want to stick by me, treat me and not want to sleep with me.

Then I get scared because what if I fall in love and the relationship goes all wrong I would feel like I need a wand to re wind, because I couldn't bare to let the words come off my tongue to yell and tell family and friends it all went wrong I'd always be praying I hope it will mend.