A Thought in Process

a thought in process
that's what I am
slow in the works
taking my time
staying in the sidelines
watching others
and learning
a little behind though
late in life
as in everyday
that blurs by
all the new people
so much to take in
each adventure I take though
a new discovery made
a little more I know
about me
me as a person
who I really am
accepting the fact
accepting myself
to accept others
life really is a circle
spinning madly
out of control
or
into it's pattern
as the dice
our lives roll by
each little adventure
trying to achieve something
come out on top
in the end
or just hold on
be alive
for now
"how are you today?"
"alive" I'll say
as I continue

my work in process
fix the house
pay the bills
need money for that
fix the truck
need gas
money for this
work for that
lost in the hole
can't quite see
to find my way out
must work on that too
someone told me once
or was it
not to expect changes
as it is always the same
here in our lives
working ourselves away
fading lives into one
no sense
of individuality
no remembrance of
the true self
trapped
in our robot shells
conforming to you
and blending with them
whom in turn mix with others
all one story
just different versions
shouting to be noticed
but in the end
past all the bull
and added extras
one point is made
we're alive
as I'll say
and continue

my life in process
trying to survive
getting by
where it's least expected
barely holding on
knowing that I'm slipping
afraid of my demise
but the rock over there
will I make it
dare I take the risk
like every little chance in life
where it brings me next
do I have the guts to take it
the call on the phone
how does it end
busy, no one home
or never returned
afraid
but yet wanting to experience
the questions
but yet wanting
the answers
sometimes maybe
things turn out my way
but not when I'm trying
why try
if it always fails
but then you'll never know
all things people have said once
I'm sure
but yet not quite hearing
learning for myself
like the relationship
told not to take
why not
might be fun
if anything
a new lesson learned
another chapter
in my book
of me
for of course
if mistakes
were never made
we would not be
here today
and as I say
"Alive"