The Autobiography of Sasha Fierce

The Autobiography of Sasha Fierce



Sasha is a female and male given name. It originated in countries of Central, Eastern and Southern Europe as a diminutive of Alexander and Alexandra



Fierce. Having or displaying an intense or ferocious aggressiveness. Showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity.



Ferocious, Violent, Savage, Furious, Wild, Truculent.



On May 20th, 1987, I was born Alexandra Rene' Faison, in Saint Petersburg, Russia.



My mother, Daria Gordievsky, met my father, Ronald Faison in her freshman year of college while attending



Saint Petersburg University in Russia. My father was an exchange student from Dallas, Texas. There dated all through out their college years on and off, due to infidelity issues on my mother's part, but they knew at the end of the day they were made for each other. My mother gave birth to me on their graduation day. She soon discovered that she couldn't have any other kids.



As a child, I was very shy and low on confidence. My parents were always too busy arguing to notice. Not only were we poor, I struggled with my identity and had to deal with racism. It was very rare to see a black kid in Russia, kids didn't understand. I was bullied by the other kids so much that I considered suicide at one point even at such a young age. I never told anyone that. But I just felt so worthless and alone. As if all that wasn't enough, my father had enough of my mother's cheating and lying. He called off their engagement and broke up with her. He packed up and moved back to America. My mother was so devastated, guilty and depressed, she soon became an alcoholic. It was like I didn't have a mother at all anymore, and my father was gone. So I really was alone. By the time my 8th birthday came around, my mother's alcoholism became so bad, I woke up that morning and found her dead at the kitchen table with her head smashed into my birthday cake with an empty bottle of Vodka in one hand, and an empty bottle of anti depressants in the other. My father immediately came back to Russia to pick me up and take me to America. Life in America was very different for me, but I found it easy to adjust. I already knew English so there wasn't a language barrier, I had a heavy Russian accent but that was ok there. I wasn't the only one. It was the life I always imagined myself having. Being in a place where being bi-racial wasn't uncommon. I was accepted for who I was and it made me happy. My father was a high school science teacher and we lived pretty comfortably. We weren't rich but we were doing ok.I was happy, but still dealt with insecurity issues, the pain of losing my mother, and growing up a girl without a mother.



I remember the moment my insecurities began to fade away. I was 16 years old. Me and my friends Tianna and Cee Cee were at Cee Cee's house having a weekend sleepover. We had spent all weekend pretending we were Destiny's Child. I was Michelle, even though I really wanted to be Beyonce, Tianna Was Kelly, and Cee Cee Was Beyonce. Anyway, we were watching MTV when all of a sudden a new Beyonce video premiered. It was the video to her new song "Crazy In Love''. I was amazed. I was amazed by how talented she was, how confident she was, how fierce she was. I went home and went online to watch the video again, I ended up watching it over and over until I knew every single word and dance step. I changed that day. I became confident. I found out who I was, or at least who I wanted to be.



I graduated High School two years later, at the top of my class. At the ceremony, when the principal called out my name "Alexandra Faison'', there was a huge uproar and rowdy applause, for me! I pretended that I was accepting a Grammy award.



I attended New York University, studying business, but after my 1st semester I realized that this isn't what I wanted to do. I wanted to be up on stage in front of an excited crowd screaming my name. So I dropped out of college and moved to Los Angeles. I didn't know anyone there, but that didn't scare me, promised myself to stay confident and strong. I promised myself that I would do whatever I had to do to become famous. I had some money in savings, so I rented a motel room as soon as i got there. I got a job at the diner attached to the motel. I did very well at that little diner. I got big tips and was well liked by the customers. They loved my personality and how outgoing I was. I spent my free time and spare money creating a demo in hopes of eventually playing it for a record company and possibly striking a deal. I didn't care how long it took, I didn't even think about that. I soon became close with one of my co workers at diner. Derek. I had a crush on him since the 1st day I started working there but I guess a part of me was still the shy little girl I once was. But eventually I built up the confidence to ask him out. For our first date, he took me out to lunch. We ate at the diner we worked at, it was so romantic. We had a great relationship and I was slowly falling in love. He wanted us to move in together but at the time I wasn't ready to get THAT serious into the relationship until I finished my demo. After a few months of hard work at the diner, spending money and working on my demo, I finally finished it. Me and Derek decided to go out and celebrate that night. We went out with a couple of friends to a club. At one point during the night, me and Derek were dancing, and suddenly, "Crazy in Love" came on. I broke out in tears and explained to him the significance of that song.



I had been running around L.A. for months giving out my demo to record labels hoping they would call me. It became my second job. Derek was so supportive of me.



One night, I was at home on the phone with my father catching up with him. He wasn't very supportive of my idea of moving to L.A. but he was proud of me being able to handle myself for this long, I heard it in his voice he didn't think it was going to last. I got off the phone with him and went downstairs to work my night shift at the diner. It was pretty busy that night, Derek wasn't working that shift, but he came into the diner. He walked up to me acting really strange, he seemed really nervous and anxious about something but I was too busy to ask him what was going on. I went into the kitchen to inform the cooks about an order, and when I went back out into the diner, Derek was standing right in the middle of a diner, staring at me. All of a sudden, Dangerously In Love by Beyonce began playing. Derek slowly walked up to me and nervously proposed. He told me that he loved me, and that I was the most inspiring person he had ever met. He promised me that he would be there for me for the rest of my life and that he wanted to help me pursue my dreams. I immediately said yes. I didn't even have to hesitate. We kissed and I felt at that moment my life could only go Up from there.



The next day, me and my new fiance were driving around L.A. as usual, looking for record labels to pursue. we eventually came across Columbia Records. I kissed Derek, he wished me good luck, and I marched right into that building with my breast and head held up high. As i was walking in, i bumped into a man with a beard. It happened to be Rick Rubin, co president of Columbia. As I was apologizing for my clumsiness, he noticed the demo in my hand. He introduced himself and asked if i was any good, I laughed, flipped my hair and told him that I was probably one of the most talented person to ever walk through this door. He laughed, and asked me to come up to his office. On our way up there I was hiding how nervous I was. Up until now I never got a chance to reach anyone this big. Normally I would just walk into record label offices and hand my demo to the receptionist and walk out. But this man had the power to make my dreams reality. Next thing I know, we're in the office. I felt my heart racing. We sat down and he started talking to me about how hard it was to find good talent. I told him he didn't have to seach any further. He laughed again, in that sarcastic sort of laugh that dropped my confidence level every time he did it from the lobby to the office. He put in my demo, we sat there and listened to all 4 songs. The whole time, he just sat still, no movement, didn't say a word. I felt my heart racing again. I never felt so much suspense in my life. Finally, the last song on my demo was finished. He looked at me, smiled, and pulled out his phone. I don't know who he called but he excitedly told the person to cancel his next meeting. Instantly, he pulled out a pen and a few pieces of paper, and gave them to me. It was a contract! He signed me on the spot! The rest of that week I was meeting with him and other people setting up my career and discussing plans. After I listened to all of the ideas and plans, I had to make it clear that I didn't want to be one of those "puppet" artists who don't take control of their career, I need the freedom to express myself, my feelings and my life experiences. I said it with attitude, confidence, and sass. Because that's the person I turned out to be. Everyone was pleased, and promised me that i'd have creative control. We were in the studio working with producer Tricky Stewart on songs for the album, I was sitting on the couch starting to write a song I named Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It). Tricky and I spent the next few months recording, and I decided i wanted Single Ladies to be in between that time, I had legally changed my name to Sasha Fierce. Because that's who I felt I was. I didn't feel like Alexandra Faison anymore. I was so much more than that. A few days later, Derek and I got married in City Hall, the same building I changed my name in. We were in the car on our way to celebrate our marriage, when the first single, "Single Ladies" came on. Which went on to be a smash hit, which went on to become quadruple platinum, winning multiple awards. Not soon after, we moved into a new house in Beverly Hills, it was our way of celebrating the release of my Debut Album, "I am... Sasha Fierce". It was the start of a new life, and the rest would be history.