Baroea Chapter 4: Unwelcome

Lara knew she was home by the wonderful scents that greeted her. Dinner was obviously cooking. Her stomach rumbled.
She didn’t know how much time had passed while she was in the Garden and Baroëa, but it was still daylight. A glance out the window revealed the sun low on the horizon. Lara trotted downstairs to find out if Grandma and Mom needed help preparing dinner.
“Where have you been, Lara? Playing with your brothers again?” Mom was mashing potatoes.
“No. They wore me out with the snowball fight, so I relaxed and read for a while.” Lara turned to Grandma, who rinsed a cutting board at the sink. “I really like the book you gave me, Grandma. Thank you again.”
Grandma smiled and nodded, not seeming to want to discuss it.
Lara helped grab things from the fridge, mix topping for the meatloaf, and did other small chores until dinner was nearly ready. When Mom left the room and Grandma sat down, Lara pounced on the chance to talk to her about the green book.
“Where did that book come from?”
Grandma sighed, thinking back to her childhood. “I believe it was given to us by an aunt. Yes, I remember now. She was a strange lady, my father’s older sister who never seemed to age a bit. There were rumors that her parentage was…not conventional. Some people even said she was not entirely human. But this was long ago in the Irish countryside. There were still those who believed in ghosts and fairies.”
“Fairies?” Lara asked. “They thought she was part fairy?”
“Yes,” Grandma continued, “But it was all nonsense, of course.”
Lara wondered if Grandma’s disbelief was real, or if she, too, just didn’t want to appear crazy. There was no choice. Lara would have to tell her about Baroëa in order to figure out if she knew anything.
“Grandma, I need to tell you something about that book,” she began, but Grandma cut her off.
“No, Lara, I don’t want to know. I never read it, and never will. It’s yours now, you enjoy it.”
“But Grandma, something happened…”
“No, Lara!” She sounded surprisingly stern. “I don’t want to dwell on it. It’s a reminder of sad times for me; I will never get the joy out of it that you do.”
Lara was shocked. She shrugged and pretended not to be hurt by Grandma’s refusal to listen, but she had been counting on her help.
Dinner was a quiet affair, as it had been the night before. Lara hadn’t noticed until now the pall that lay over the family. The strongest pain was certainly her own, which even now felt like a dead lump in her stomach. But she sometimes forgot that the whole family was also gripped by grief. Lara looked at the one empty chair at the massive rectangular table.
Grandpa, Grandma, Dad, Mom, Michael, Alan, me…with Paul we would be eight, she thought, then suddenly sat up straight.
If she found Paul, there would be seven family members with her. Maybe they were her Helpers! Everything was coming together. Lara wouldn’t have to go alone into danger after all. Dad and Grandpa could protect her from anything that might attack them. And Grandma’s wisdom and comfort would help in any situation. Mom had a sixth sense when it came to her children; she’d probably lead them right to Paul. And Michael and Alan would be better than Lara at navigating a storybook world because of their age. It would be perfect.
Lara could barely contain her excitement, and wiggled on the edge of her seat as she ate. If anyone noticed, they didn’t mention it.
She had to think of how to take her family with her. Would the book’s magic work on more than one person? Lara considered the possibilities while they all watched a saccharine old holiday movie with a neatly tied up happy ending. If only real life were as simple.
It wasn’t just that she wanted help with her quest. She sat in a circle of those she loved, and every face showed a weight of sadness, loss or anger. It wasn’t fair that none of them knew the amazing thing that was happening in this very house. They deserved to see that beautiful world, too. They deserved to see Paul again.
Lara went to bed that night with racing thoughts. Her dreams were strange and shifting, leaving only a fading unease when she awoke.

It was Monday morning, and bone-chilling cold. Everyone busied themselves inside. Dad or Grandpa occasionally bundled up to grab more split logs from the pile outside the door.
Lara looked out the kitchen window as she made herself a mug of hot cocoa and got a bowl of creamed wheat. The icicles on the garage were even longer now. The sky was a dull white-gray, but the expected storm hadn’t arrived yet.
After breakfast, Lara sat next to the fire. The whole family had squeezed into the living room, each claiming a spot close to the warmth. Lara was on edge. She played out different scenes in her head, and they all seemed ridiculous. How was she going to get the whole family to look into the book, especially when Grandma wanted nothing more to do with it?
She wasn’t the only one on edge. Dad couldn’t seem to stop himself from making sarcastic comments about everything on the television. The boys were arguing over a board game, and Mom stared at the fire, shoulders hunched, deep in her thoughts. Grandpa and Grandma pretended not to notice any of it. Lara had to do something.
She decided that the only thing to do was be direct. She went upstairs and got the Baroëa book, then brought it into the living room. No one paid any attention at first, since Lara was rarely without a storybook or sketchbook.
“Everyone, you’ve got to see this! Can you all gather around?” Her voice was shaking with nerves.
She brought the book to where Dad sat, since he didn’t seem inclined to move. Mom smiled weakly, glad of a distraction, and the boys looked slightly curious. They gathered around Dad’s chair. Grandpa and Grandma stood up.
Lara opened the book to the next page. The two-page illustration was of the undulating grasses and sunny hills, this time dotted with glowing yellow sunflowers and black-eyed-Susans. She glanced at the swirly text of the verse.
Over swells and through the vales
Wander in the land of tales
But for yourself you must there fend
Keeping in mind your journey’s end.

Lara didn’t have time to think on what it said. Even as she read, the picture began to take on that vivid hyper-real quality. She looked up to make sure everyone was watching. Dad, Mom and the boys were fascinated, but Grandma was leaving the room.
“Evelyn? Are you feeling alright?” Grandpa said, and followed her.
“Grandma?” Lara called to her. Things were quickly going wrong. Lara glanced at the book again. That was all it took.
Lara was kneeling in the sunlight on a grassy knoll. To the south-west were more gentle swells, completely covered by blankets of yellow flowers large and small. Her parents and brothers were scattered around her, gazing in different directions. Grandma and Grandpa weren’t there, but at least she knew it worked. The exhilaration of success crashed over her.
“What did I tell you?” Lara yelled, jumping around with excitement. “Isn’t it amazing? It’s a whole other world!” She grabbed Michael’s hand in her right and Alan’s in her left and started down the slope at a run.
“No running!” Dad yelled. “Stay with us.”
Lara was flabbergasted. How could he still be so irritable? Didn’t he see the amazing place around them? Didn’t he realize they had just entered a storybook? She let go of her brothers and walked back to him.
Her father’s eyes were fixed ahead. He didn’t even flash a glance at the hills or flowers. He put one foot in front of the other as if he were on a sidewalk, ignoring the breeze that ruffled his sandy hair. Mom trudged beside him, head down, shoulders in their now-familiar slouch. Ahead of them, Lara heard the boys sullenly taking up their disagreement again. Michael sounded aggravated and Alan was starting to cry.
Lara watched them in growing horror. None of them said a word about the book or where they were. It was as if they couldn’t see Baroëa at all. What they saw, she couldn’t guess, but they were not truly here with her.
“Stop!” she yelled at them, fear and anger making her voice shrill. “Please, look around you. You’re supposed to feel better. You were supposed to help me find Paul!”
It was no use. They all meandered slowly through knee-high blossoms, butterflies and bumblebees unnoticed around them. They had vanished into their own thoughts and were unreachable by anything Lara said.
“The snow is starting to come down fast,” Mom said, shielding her eyes in the bright sunbeams. She began to shiver in her sweater and wrapped her arms around herself. “What are we doing out here?” she asked Dad. “We should go inside where it’s warm.” He just grunted.
They were seeing the blizzard back home. Lara had lost them. A shudder of horror shook her as her family became translucent. She could see right through them, as though they were nothing but smoke. They continued to fade until Lara stood alone at the bottom of the golden-flowered dell.
She blinked back tears, looking around in desperation. She was on her own again. She didn’t even know where to find her portal to get home.
A sudden movement made Lara glance to her right. A massive grey granite boulder stood halfway up the next hill. Something was shifting across its surface. Lara stared, but couldn’t make out what it was. Perplexed, she climbed wearily up to the stone.
Tiny people were scampering like mice all over it. They had wide smiles and turned-up noses, and wore brightly colored clothes with candy-kiss shaped hats. They seemed to be playing tag, laughing loudly all the while.
Lara came as close as she dared, not wanting to frighten them. “Who are you?”
About five of them stopped and stared at her. Then they collapsed in fits of giggles. Lara was annoyed.
“What’s so funny?” she demanded.
“You is!” said one that looked like a leggy little boy. “We’s pixies of course.”
“Well, can you help me find a giant ring that’s somewhere near here?”
“No.” The cheeky pixie boy stuck out his tongue. “Or if so, I’d say you the wrong way.”
“Why?” The boy just did a goofy dance. Lara was getting frustrated. “So, do you know where it is?”
“Maybe. But you can look on your lonesome. You ought to be ‘shamed of what you done.”
Lara wanted to grab and shake him, but every time she stepped closer, their little group moved back. “What exactly did I do?” she sputtered.
“You brought them here!” piped up a girl with red pigtails. “Them that wasn’t called nor asked for.” She made a rude gesture.
The pixies shrieked with laughter as Lara felt the heat of a blush rush up her face. “Not called? You mean my family?”
“ ‘Course. Them’s don’t belong here. They ain’t welcome.”
The blush receded as fast as it had come, leaving Lara with an unexpected feeling of cold. The words of the most recent verse came back to her.
“But for yourself you must there fend…”
Her family wasn’t invited to Baroëa. They weren’t her Helpers after all, and wouldn’t be able to come with her again.
“Don’t feel bad, girlie,” said a gray-haired but wiry little man. “You didn’t know they wasn’t to come. Them ain’t like you, is they? Them doesn’t believe in magic?” Lara shook her head, once more fighting tears. He nodded in sympathy. “Disbelief won’t let in magic, just as sorrow won’t let in consolation.”
Lara felt a flash of anger at his seeming change of subject. How dare a silly, tiny person attempt to preach at her! “What do you know of sorrow? Or of death? You get to live in this perfect pretend world and never be hurt by anything. “
“Pretend, eh? Nothing hurts us here, eh? That’s where you is wrong,” he said, and turned his back. The other pixies stuck out their tongues, mooned Lara and made other rude gesticulations until she left in disgust, resuming her uphill trek.
As Lara reached the crest of the hill, the ring portal came into view ahead of her. It was topped by a carven sun shining its stone beams over the whole ring. Lara nearly snorted at the cheerful imagery that ended this most disappointing of visits. This was the first time she’d left feeling so lost in the dark. Nothing was clear, and not much seemed bright.
“One thing I’ve learned for certain,” Lara said aloud, the ring before her. “Pixies are annoying.”
She stepped through, dreading whatever awaited her at home.