Bed of Roses

         She lay there in that bed of roses so perfect and peaceful.  I could not keep from staring at her face and how still it was.  The faint lines on her cheeks no longer danced across her face from smiles that always put my heart in knots.  Her brown hair lay long and beautiful past shoulders, sweeping below her smooth chin.

         I stood there in silence not knowing what to do.  My whole life was lying right there in front of me in that bed of roses.  I thought of the first rose I had ever given to her.  They were her favorite.  She loved them.  Where can I go beautiful?  Where will I go without you?  I need you.  I can’t go on without you.  Don’t you see that?

         I stood there looking at her face remembering her eyes and how beautiful they were.  Every time she looked at me with those eyes my heart would skip.  I searched her face now realizing I’d never see them again.  They were closed to me forever now.

         I reached for her hands lying on top of her waist.  They were cold.  I wrapped my fingers through hers as tears flooded my eyes.  My vision was a blur but the memories were as clear as day.  I remembered walking through the park with her; our fingers locked together just like this.  Nothing could break us apart.

         I leaned closer to her kissing her on the forehead for the very last time.  I would never be quite the same again.  A part of me left with her and I would never get it back.  I don’t want it back.  I gave it to her and it’s hers to keep always and forever.  I let go of her hands for the last time and spoke to the silence.

“Love you.”

         If only she would hear that last whisper.  Oh God let her hear that last whisper.  If I never get to hear that sweet voice ever again please let her hear mine.

         As I stood there I felt a small hand grab my little finger.  I looked down at my side to see my little girl there waiting and looking just as lost as me.  She looked so perfect and beautiful. Faint lines showed on her cheeks from all the smiles she had.  Her brown hair lay long and beautiful past her shoulders, sweeping below her smooth little chin.  I stood there looking at her unable to speak.  She had her mother’s eyes.  Those big beautiful eyes stared up at me waiting for daddy to do something, say something, to make it all better.

         I turned from the bed of roses to kneel beside my little girl.  I brushed her beautiful long brown hair away from her eyes so I could look at her.

“Where can I go beautiful?  Where would I ever go without you?  I need you.  I can’t go on without you.”

         She looked at me with those eyes not saying a word.  I wrapped my fingers around her little hands and kissed her on the forehead.  I stood and looked down at her, my back to the bed of roses and her mother.

“Everything’s gonna be ok baby.  I promise.”

         We walked slowly back down the aisle of that old church to the doors that waited ahead.

         My vision blurred as tears flooded my eyes again and I thought my last goodbyes.  The memories my little girl and I would make brought a whole new meaning to life.  She’s everything to me.  A part of me will always be with her.  Without her I would never be the same.  She’s my little girl and she’s got her daddy’s heart.

         We came to the door of the church and I opened it for my little girl.  She walked ahead of me and then turned to stop and look at me.  Her big green eyes searched my face looking for answers, looking for me to tell her what comes next.  I looked at her standing just outside the door so still.  The breeze was gently lifting her hair around her little ears and the sun was shining down on her face making her look like a little angel.  That’s when it hit me. My whole life was standing there right in front of me.

         And I didn’t want to miss a second of it.