Where love lives...

I have a secret deep inside no one knows where it may hide.
It speaks to me each day without warning, reason or
decision it just is a part of my innermost prison.

I don't mind it lives with me as no one knows just
what I see. My feelings deep dug down below
to a place where I let no one go. 

Everyone see what they want to see;
where my smile resides so much
more behind it lies.  Does anyone know who
we really are and what goes on
when no ones looking..

I think I look at like askewed. Yes play the part
everyone wants but deep within the inner
person rejects the very things that I succomb
to are not who I am but is all of you.

I cannot be all to everyone pulled this way
and that till I feel so numb.  Is this my reality
to myself be true for whom do I live me or  for you?

Always thought I was all together but not sure
now if my fascade was for you or me.  Years have
gone I know I feel it and as I evaluate what did
I do with it. 

A young child made an adult too soon always
worried for others  not minding the time and
now I realize I left myself behind.

Don't get me wrong I have known love and
how it should be; but as usual I put everyone
else's needs in front of me.

Someone once said I should learn
to ask for what I want....funny
thing it never occurred to me cause
I just existed a mere shell of myself.

The secret I hold you should know I
hold dear just as it holds onto me. My
biggest fear i relive each day is that my
secret will fade away.