I Married the Goblin Queen

         Hi. I’m Brett. I was an immigrant from the surface, who moved down to the goblin city. Believe it or not, I liked it. The goblins were a real interesting bunch of people, and believe it or not, the women weren’t half bad either. And Women’s lingerie shops apparently didn’t mind hiring guys for some reason. As such, I was hired to be the model guy. I watched the girls while they tried on underwear and told them how good they looked. The good news was I got to look at all the sexy goblins in nothing but underwear. The bad news was it led me to getting married. I can still remember my last moments of freedom. We had the big woman herself show up. The Goblin Queen. The immortal and supposedly all powerful ruler of the Goblins, and the most unattractive. She was fat, pear shaped, warty, and had horrible fashion sense. She didn’t wear pants or a skirt, just her under parents, an ugly giant pair of pink bloomers with little frills around the waist and leg holes, which she liked to wear for decades at a time. And apparently she’d decided it’s time for a switch. Her hair was dry and disgusting and pink, with the crown being a horn. Her shirt was just a black stripe.

         “Tell me model boy, do these underpants make my butt look big?” she asked, waving her enormous rear end directly in my face (I was sitting) down. I wanted to puke knowing how warty it was underneath her thin bloomers. And the stories of her legendary flatulence weren’t filling me with confidence either.

         “Yes your highness, it looks very large. In fact I’d say it’s positively gelatinous,” I told her, just wanting her to leave.

         “Excellent!” she declared standing up straight with a wiggle of her enormous pink clad butt.

         “Is there anything else I can get for you your majesty?” I asked, hoping she would say no.

         “Why yes there is,” she declared. I wanted to groan, but I kept my poker face up so she didn’t know.

         “What will that be Madam?” I asked politely.

         “YOU!”

         Suddenly her hands grabbed me by both my arms, lifted me up, and I found myself being dropped behind her! Her underpants were pulled open and I was dropped into her warty butt!

         “MMPH!” I screamed, as my face was crammed into her butt crack. My arms and legs were stuck against her enormous jiggling cheeks.

PPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAFFFFFFTT!

         “Ah, that was a good one!” she declared, shaking her gelatinous rump, to and fro, while I suffocated, desperately praying she’ll let me go soon. Little did I realize what my future was.

         She began to leave the store, her rear end jiggling me along. I heard my boss ask her if she found our service acceptable.

         “Oh I found it EXCEPTIONAL. You should hire humans more often. Maybe you should get another to replace your old model boy.”

         I heard my boss make a noise of confusion, and tried to scream for her help, only to be greeted with another loud PPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFTT!

         I heard my boss coughing as the Queen laughed, and jiggled her way out of the store, me silently sobbing all the way at my inability to escape the stench. As she jiggled along, I felt her move as if she were side stepping into a car. Then I felt her take a seat, causing my prison to begin to smother and compress me. I heard a voice ask where she wanted to go.

         “Home driver,” she declared. “And you may want to roll up the limo’s window.

         So we were in a limo?

         The queen began to wiggle around, and get comfterable.

         “You Brett, are a very lucky man,” she declared, leaning onto her left cheek to more easily unleash a massive fart.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

         My lungs filled with gas, and I could practically feel myself melting…

         “Just think! One human working in an underwear store being wed to the Goblin Queen!”

         Wait… I was going to marry her? Would that mean…?

         “Oh you won’t be the Goblin King by any means, no no, I’ve already picked out a lovely place to retire. Just you and me, living together… FOREVER.”

         Forever? I was going to be stuck with her forever!? I felt myself get a second wind, and I immediately began to try and protest.

         “Mmmph! Mmmmmmmph! Mph mph!”

         For my trouble I received two rewards. The first was more mocking from my fiancée.

         “My, you sound excited! Don’t worry; everything will be all set up in a week.”

         The second was a mouthful of her next fart, since I’d been dumb enough to think I could actually get my words through her massive cheeks, or that she’d even care about what I’d say.

         I was panicking now and started to squirm, desperate to escape her underpants, and her stink. But her weight was having none of that, and my struggles amounted to only two things. First I managed to exhaust myself. Second I gave her an excuse to mock me.

         “Oh you, know exactly how I like my massages Bretty-Poo. And likewise I know how YOU like your women… GASSY!”

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFTTT!!!

         That was it. The stench overcame me, I couldn’t breathe at all. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, and passed out to the sound of her laughter. When I woke up, I would discover that my life as the husband to the Goblin Queen, would actually be WORSE than just being shoved in her panties and dealing with her legendary flatulence.