A Lost Cause

Chapter One

         Momma done taught me one thing. I can still see her sitting in her chair by the stove, frying the potatoes for supper. A warm August breeze rustling the red-checkered curtains that hung on the window as I sat at the kitchen table snapping green beans, telling her about my first day of sixth grade.
         "Ms. June's a peach. She got dirt under her nails like me," I said as I threw the beans into a pot and momma grimaced as she looked at my fingers, "She let me and Hallie play football with the boys." Hallie had been the neighbor girl growing up and was my partner-in-crime and best friend ever since we could crawl. Our friendship is the one thing that hasn't change over the years.
         "Pssh, your Ms. June is prob'ly one of those free spirits," momma said as she brandished a fork at me, "Thinks she's too good for any man. Gonna end up alone, that girl is."
         She shook her head like being alone was the absolute worst thing a girl could be. But what good did marriage ever do momma? Fourteen years later and she had a tomboy for a daughter that she hated and a dead husband that she drove to commit suicide. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to keep that hateful remark from leaving my lips. Lord knows I was trying to be a better daughter.
         The silence was uneasy, it sprung like a weed and spread until it took root. The only sound was coming from those damn potatoes sizzling.
         "Ms. June says she's going to travel the world. Gonna' have a pet armi'dillo," I said after a while. Momma, like usual, ignored me.
         "You're going to end up alone too girl," she glanced sideways at me, "I got a call from Mrs. Lange down the street."
I shifted guiltily in my seat, looking anywhere but at her accusing eyes. "Her boy, Jessie, has got a right good shiner," she said as she struggled to get out of the chair. A spark of anger ignited as I thought about the new boy who was making my life a living hell.
         "I'm sure he earned it."
"Now Cassidy, don't go beating up that boy now," momma gave me a knowing look, "you might regret it in a few years."
         I hated that look, as if she had planned my future already and me and Jessie were going to fall in love and I was going to push out a ton of grandbabies for her. Well, I wasn't going to become like her and just waste away. I know what marriage did to my folks. It made my momma fat and my daddy dead. No man is going to hold me back, especially not that mean, gangly Jessie. How dare she want that for me? I could feel the anger rising, bubbling up until it erupted.
         "Like you," I yelled, "do you regret what you did to daddy?" I regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth. Momma looked like I had just gone and slapped her.
         "I'm sorry momma."
Momma didn't say anything as she wiped the grease from her forehead. She sat the frying pan in the rusting sink with a long sigh and walked slowly over to where I sat.
         "Girl, there are thing you just don't know about your daddy," she said as she looked at me straight in the eyes," you can only trust a person as far as you can throw them, don't you forget that."