Prologue: Trapped

It was like a time loop; it went around and around and around. Like a washing machine, doors never opening to let you out; the spinning never ceasing. You can’t get out. You want to, you really do, but you can’t. The same things happen again and again and you can’t do anything to stop it. You can’t do anything to stop them. The loop, it doesn’t stop. It keeps going, and you hate it. You hate all of it and you want to stop fighting, to give up. But, you can’t because there are no outs; not even the easy kind. But, yet you still try and you try but you can’t make it stop. It won’t stop. It leaves you there, alone, frightened, and in despair.

It’s what it did to me; and it will happen to you too, it will happen to every last one of us. Every last one of the specials. They want something from us, they want to break us, I recognize that fact, but I already feel broken. I feel as if my heart has been torn to shreds, and yet I’m still here living that day over and over again. Why can’t they stop, why do they have to be so cruel? I don’t understand, I thought I did once, but I don’t. I feel broken.

I used to be happy so care free living my life without a worry in the world. Living it how I wanted it to be. But that all stopped, when they found me and what I could do. They were scared, so they used my own power against me and the rest.

I haven’t told them that though, the rest. I don’t tell them anything. I don’t see them much anyway- only when our worlds all are about to start the cycle again do I see them. That is the only time I see reality too, because this time loop it’s not real; it’s all in my head. I know this, but I have to keep reminding myself. I have too, to stay sane.

I had my five seconds, it’s about to start again.

5 Oh God

4 Please no

3 I can’t take it

2 Please

1 NO

Suddenly I am in a car, riding home from school. The smell of the leather seats, the cold glossy smoothness beneath my fingers. I’m back, again. My mother sits up front holding onto the steering wheel, hands on ten and two o’clock. My mother follows the rules; she didn’t deserve what she got. I sit back and relax, I used to tell her to stop, go back to school to work. But she wouldn’t listen to me. They wanted me to see it, see her death, not change it.

I stare out the window and try to enjoy the scenery. I can’t. The luscious green grass, multicolored fall leaves, the trees who’s limbs where twisted and combined in a way I used to think as beautiful does nothing to me now. I feel no happiness, no pleasure anymore. I see no beauty, all I have witnessed in day, months, maybe even years has been death, sadness.

If only I could stop it.

Suddenly, bright lights blind me.

It’s the van.

No matter how many times I do this, I am never ready for the impact. I jerk forward, my seat belt burrowing into my flesh. My luscious honey-colored hair falls over the top of my head, blinding me. I hear a scream, my mother’s, before I pass out.
Seconds later I open my eyes to see her mangled body. I scream.