Who do we depend on?

Christian asked me the other day, "How do we hear from God?" I was tempted to reply with listing all the things that we learned, shared and discussed at church in this regard but then stopped because I realised that for my son these things will have no semblance with reality even though he lives closely together with me.

So there I am, having a "close relationship with the living God" and nobody, not even those close to me seem to be able to witness it. Quite a verdict on my ability to love and relate to my God and Saviour, right? What does it say about how I relate to others? Maybe looking at the position I arrived in my spiritual life today gives some enlightenment on what is happening?

I am in the middle of a transformation process. I for some time now follow a revelation, you might have gotten a taste of it by reading some of my other posts on this Blog, that Christianity practised in churches (even those that are the flavour of the month) is nothing else but a set of learned traditions and acquired culture and has little to do with the Kingdom of God as brought about by Jesus Christ. This revelation dares to say that church culture with its habits and rules has moved closely towards the position of Jewish Religion: it has become a place of cemented in, rigid and often heartless values and practices and the message and intend of the Father, brought to life, ministered and being kept alive by Jesus Christ has been transformed into something ugly, something barely recognisable.

This revelation takes me right out of Christian culture, you can therefore call me an un-cultured follower of Christ! By accepting this revelation I have understandably somehow lost spiritual companionship and the people that are witnessing my path and spiritually understand that I am not a backsliding traitor are becoming less and less - if I think about kinsmen and kinswomen then I might just be able to use all of my fingers on both hands while counting.

You are still reading on so this could mean that you are at least trying to understand what I want to write here. Thank you!

At the heart of my transformation lies the revelation that at the time when my Lord Jesus chose and awakened me through his salvation, I was fully trusting and depending on him and I operated well - we were a team. Looking back now I realise that the difficulty in my relationship with him, where I got unhealthily confused and cooled down, started when I joined and visited a series of various church groupings and became exposed to traditions and culture that almost never was borne out of the heart, mind, will and wisdom of God.

So what happened there you think?

I started to depend on other men and women and allowed them to stand in the light and block my view onto Jesus. With this I gave other people the power to become priests, intercessors, teachers, prophets, pastors and other kind of messengers of God for me and allowed them to minister to me on behalf of God. Therefore the phrase of having a personal relationship with Jesus became a farce! The fact was that I had a personal relationship with people that belong to a set of traditions and culture and accepted to be fed out of that pool of intentions, motivations and words.

As I grew more and more uneasy I decided to disengage and trust that Jesus will guide me back to himself. I began to withdraw myself spiritually from other people because I realised that arguing and discussing such insights is a fruitless matter and even potentially harmful to them. I use this Blog as some kind of release valve and this therefore represents almost the only sharing possibility that is at my disposal at the moment. Nothing I write here is in the dark, I write these texts fully knowing and accepting that my Lord and Saviour is here right in me reading every word that I write.

I know that I am close to reaching saturation, the boiling point so to speak and I realise that faculties such as knowledge, clear thought, truth and wisdom are starting to surface greatly within me (I am not blowing my own horn, I try to glorify Jesus with this statement). I still pray about and try to understand the Father's LOVE because without it all of the other things are useless and harmful. I begin to realise that that LOVE is within me, always was within me. I pray to come to the point of urgency that God's Apostle Paul (Saul of Tarsus) had, a restless urgency that was borne out of the realisation that it is the greatest, most unforgivable sin not to share this LOVE with others!

It might not be too late to start living a life in such a way that Christian my son truly witnesses my relationship with Christ and will know as a matter of fact how to hear from God without me having to give him an empty list of explanations.