Mobbing

        This is a new texting crime called "mobbing."
        Simply put, a group of people get together with Twitter and do something.
        The Egyptian uprising was a Twitter revolt with the help of Google.
        I like to think I'm paranoid, because I know that's what people want me to think.
        Having worked at Walmart, I'm absolutely certain I am paranoid.
        If you suspect you are being mobbed, i.e., people are following you via Twitter;
        you are probably paranoid and have good reason to be so.

     
        For example, as I walk through a mall a dozen of debutantes appear to be
        following me.
        I'll stop and purchase a pretzel and turn to see debutantes staring
        at me. Paranoid as I am; I zigzag into a department store and they follow.
        What should I conclude when I exit the mall and see a car full of these
        debutantes following me?
        I pull into another parking lot and the car parks a few spaces from me.
        Should I take my mace with me to the supermarket?


        Odd chance encounters should be recorded.
        I go to get my mail and my landlord is holding my mail.
        I ask her why she has my mail.
        She tells me she has lost an important letter and is checking the other
        multiplex mail boxes.
        Then she hands me my mail through the pigeon hole.
        Is that legal? I'm paranoid and can't be objective.



        I like to listen to the WAVE 97.6.
        Sometimes I feel like the talk-show host is talking to me.
        Words like "Maniac" and "Buddha at McDonalds" are used.
        Don Imus even used my name to describe a prostate exam.
        Just paranoid right?
        Sometimes I feel the music in stores is mocking me....
        "Hey there lover boy!" or "Man on the run!" or "Your a looser baby!"
        But, that's just ridiculous. Someone would have to know I was in that store.
        And then the trickster could call the radio station.



        It seems that elderly nuns are following me too.
        I've read that many elderly women choose the convent as an easy retirement.
        Maybe they just pop up in same places I go to: like Dominoes and
        The Avengers movie.. Okay that's odd.
        I like to bowl too and so do these nuns.
        Is this an Inquisition?



        I'm getting tired of helicopters buzzing my truck and house.
        Jeeze. Aren't there flight rules?
        I asked this old guy why he was looking through my truck.
        He said the door was open and he wanted a Dorito.
        I said they were jacked and very spicy.
        He left with a smirk.
        People shouldn't go into a stranger's vehicles without permission
        even for a Dorito.


       
        I'm buying Ramen Noodle Soup and these elderly nuns tell me
        I can buy a bag of noodles cheaper at Walmart.
        Is this a Walmart convent?
        www.walmartmovie.com ~ Seriously, It would not surprise me if Walmart
        had a vendetta against.
        When I worked at a Walmart the store manager told me "I should not
        rock the boat."
        I complained about a overnight manager slapping me in the face.
        Maybe, that's why I'm being mobbed?


       
        Thanks to my bizarre upbringing I accept the paranormal as normal.
        I have seen my sisters do voodoo .. and appear to levitate objects.
        And I have witnessed a childhood friend get cut in half by a budliner
        commuter train. He talked and moved his arms for a few minutes.
        My mother predicted the accident and told me not to go home
        from school that way that day.
        On a very hot humid summer at Latin Mass I thought I saw the
        statue of the Virgin Mary smile and wink at me.
        I was fainting from heat exhaustion, but it seemed so real.



        Could there be a Twitter conspiracy to follow me?
        Maybe. But, why?
        I don't do anything interesting.
        Why would nuns go see The Avengers?

        I just don't know.


                Muzzy