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conversation on loss |
I couldn’t really see her she was to far away… but you swore it was her, just had to be, same crooked walk, same hair…you remember her, you say turning towards me, eyes dancing with excitement… Oh she was beautiful, gracefully unaware, so full of life…. she burned bright, that one did… She was the center of it all…she held the crowd in rapt adoration….. So sad… how hard and low, she would fall… then no one would see her, not a text nor a call… Just gone …gone for awhile… I remember she smelled like wood smoke and fresh air, I remember the tousled waves in her fiery hair…her crooked front tooth and her jaunty glare…her green eyes would sparkle and gleam, with excitement as her stories were told… She burned so bright…she outshone the sun…and the stars would twinkle in awe…. The sun would rise and set in her face…the heavens would cry, when her smile was erased… How far did she fall when her world crumbled in, and nothing really mattered, her heart was empty as sin… She crawled way back, and got tucked in…to the darkest corners and the lowest of self loathing… Do you remember you say …. More subdued, wearing a grimace, you sigh…do you remember when she died? And how the whole city cried…the heavens opened and and even the angels cried… The streets flooded that day…and in the church the sobs could be heard above the sounds of the raging storms…and in the midst of the chaos, in the midst of the turmoil…. a tiny little green eyed girl walked to the middle of the room… and began to sing, in a voice that could only be hers…. The sweetest sound I’d ever heard… Silence fell on the room, not a sound to be heard… save the voice of an angel…and one solitary bird… With nary a breath she sang out her heart… The words never left me…the sound like none I’d ever heard… Do you remember? You say, stopping and turning to face me…I could tell you were holding back tears…. I remember I say…. quietly stepping away…how could you ever think I could forget her or that day…. There she was…our whole entire world, just laying there on the floor, in a pool of her own blood…. I remember her…what I remember exactly, simple…. she was love… That day my heart died, for lack of her spirit there in the room…my heart died with hers…. now my soul walks the halls of empty houses, looking for her…I hear her voice in my head, and see her on the streets…in the faces that pass me by…. I see her there in you and everything you do…. Your face your smile, and your crinkly nose too…. your green eyes sparkle like the stars that twinkled through hers…never doubt my love for her, and you…. she was love…. she gave that to us… Your shoulders shake, as your knees give way…we are strong and here, and we are love…because she was… I hold you…as a single bird sings softly from a windows ledge…. |