Hard Pressed Feelings

-Hard Pressed Feelings-
by
Keaton Foster



Hurting
Deeply concerning
Worried to death
Unable to relax
Unable to calm down
Angry all the time
Mad as hell
Why exactly
No plausible idea
Not a single one
It’s just who I am
Of course I have a diagnosis
An order written in my name
By an over educated man
Wearing what in most countries
Passes for a Sunday dress
In a stern voice
Doing his best to act concerned
With a straight face he said
Son you are somewhere
Between north and south
Somewhere between
The earth and the sun
Somewhere between normal
And crazy as bat shit
I prefer to ignore it and him
I prefer to think that it is just
What I am all about
Maybe was born this way
Then again
Maybe I was turned this way
Semantics aside
The chemicals of my being
Have long since out of whack
Drugs take off the roughest edge
Keeping me from overreacting
Keeping me from brutalizing
Anyone who pushes me too far
Way beyond
All that I am comfortable with
These hard pressed feelings
Never give me a chance
Even when I act the part
I miserably fail
Often asking myself
What’s the frigging point
Everyone around me knows
Their prejudgment often dooms
Me long before I succeed
Throughout the day
They ask me questions like
Are you ok
Do you need a break
Do you need to be alone
Within your skin and bones
All which further stresses me
All which drives me to scream
What is it that you see
That I am so blind to
Of course, their reply of nothing
Only further exacerbates the situation
Sending me off the deep end
These hard pressed feelings
Are always with me
Hiding, dulled, placed upon a shelf
Regardless of the ways
In which I give them hell
They remain as part of who I am
More than anything else…




Hard Pressed Feelings
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2012.