Moaning - Silent Conscious

“Ashes to ashes dust to dust.” Pastor Riley quoted as he threw dirt on my parent’s coffins.
Even though I wasn’t really paying any attention to what he was saying my favorite part of any funeral was coming soon. It was the past where everyone would say nice things about the dead and I could only wait to hear what they had to say about my parents. I imaging that most would try to muster something up while others would try to stretch on what little good traits they had and the rest would most likely think about some funny incident to get the crowd laughing but we all knew the truth.
My father was a strict man; he was short, stocky, broad built and had a short temper. He would always scratch at his receding black hair and pull on his bread whenever he was annoyed. He was one man that didn’t like annoyances and he didn’t like me; he made it his main priority to trash me whenever he got the chance and my mother unable to do anything about it would just stand there watching helplessly. I don’t know whether I hated her or not or if I sympathized with her. She was not a strong woman; mom may have been taller than my father but she was petite. A beautiful creature from birth with cropped short black hair much richer and fuller than my father’s withered scalp, her eyes were sad and lonely but they always reached out to me after my father was done mercilessly beating me but I couldn’t respect her enough to understand. I was her son and it started since I was barely five years old yet she stood by while I was physically broke daily by the very man that was supposed to protect me.
“I have never had a family,” I thought to myself as Pastor Riley continued preaching to the well-wishers. “And even in death they mattered nothing to me.”
“Che, do you have any final words?” I heard him say to me as the grave diggers got ready to lower the bodies.
Pastor Riley looked at me pleadingly, he knew everything about my family… every dark little secret and in his eyes I could see that he was begging to me silently to say something nice. I could see that he expected me to put aside my differences and say something becoming about my worst nightmares. I smiled at the thought and placed my hands in the pocket of my dark blue blazers. I stood before the congregation and sighed heavily into the microphone. I was a dramatic person and I loved being the center of attention. Everyone’s eyes were on me, there were whispers from several attendants but I ignored them.
“This is my stage, I am Hitler for the moment and there is no way I am going to let my well thought out speech go to waste,” I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes at them.
“My mother was a quite woman,” I started.
I could see that the congregation was surprised at the way I started and I could feel a little of the tension ease off of the crowd.
“She was humble to the point of fault, she allowed people to take advantage of her kindness and love. If there was ever a stupid fuck… good Lord my mother was it. I really hope that there is a heaven because my mother Veronica Gray deserves a first class seat.” I continued.
Pastor Riley looked at me; his hands were trembling and I could see the shock on everyone’s face and I basked in the moment.
“Well as for my father Sam ‘salt water’ Gray as most of you may know him as. I hope that there is a hell because I pray that he is burning in it right now. Hope you like Bar-B-Que you old fuck.” I continued as I kicked dirt at his coffin “to tell the truth all I ever really wanted to do was kill the old man myself but as luck would have it… this stupid old fuck died in an accidental car crash.”
I paused a little and the very thought of it tickled me a bit.
“Yep, that bad driving did the job that I had been contemplating for years… Daddy you were a fucking nightmare on earth.” I stopped and turned to Pastor Riley “his nightmare probably started the night of his death huh Pastor Riley?”
The old man looked away from me, he wanted none of my theatricals but I could see him shift a little in his skin. I was on the verge of being fifteen yet I had the humor of a bitter old man and he knew it. I waited for the old man to recompose himself but he remained quiet.
“Oh I see Pastor, see no evil, hear no evil all of that shit huh,” I said stepping closer to him “well as the bible quotes vengeance is mine said the Lord, I just wished that my stupid father had gotten the memo years ago.”
The congregation was in an uproar; people were heading back to their vehicles, while others shook their heads at me the only person that dared challenge me was a thick voluptuous lady wearing a long flowing black dress with a little lace around the shoulders. She walked up to me and voiced her disgust at my eulogy but I simply smiled patiently as she vented her anger and annoyance for the disrespect I had I done to my parents’ grave.
“Madam may I interrupt you for just a second I would like to ask you one question,” I said smiling “but by any chance did you have sex with my father at one point or the other?”
My question was answered by a quick slap across my face and the sound echoed among the crowd and as I stood there and allowed the sting of her slap to sink in I saw several of the well-wishers racing over to us. I took a quick glance at the closest one and saw that ii was Gary… he was an old friend of the family and he knew all too well about my temper as he got a firsthand taste of it when I was younger. His face still showed the scar from the knife I had sliced him with; his brown hair blew in the wind as he jumped over chairs and ducked through the crowd. I quickly turned back to the unfortunate woman who had chosen to stay in front of me as if she was untouchable and with a large smile glued to my face I planted my fist deep into her chubby cheeks. I saw the expression on her face change from fearless to pain as my knuckles knocked her jaw. She fell onto the ground hard and screamed out in pain as she spat out a little blood.
“Che stop!!!” I heard someone yelling but I paid them no attention.
I grabbed her by the neck of her dress and dragged her over to my father’s grave.
“If you love the man so much why don’t you join him in his grave for eternity!” I screamed as I tried to shove her into the hole.
But my attempt was stopped as three people grabbed my from behind as two others help her to her feet. I reached my hand around and licked the little blood that was on one of my knuckles and stared at her.
“Blood is thicker than water lady,” I said as I shook off whoever it was that was holding onto me “and so much sweeter.”
I laughed a little as I saw the fear embedded in her face. She was shaking lightly as they helped her over to her seat and called out for a bit of water.
“Che why did you do that,” I heard Gary ask me.
“I no longer hand any ties to this world,” I said dusting off myself “I am no longer the scared little boy that you once comforted whenever you came over to the house. You have been a great help but your services are no longer needed, so to you I say beware of where you step my old friend.”
“What do you…” he started but I had already begun walking away.
I made my way between the crowd who slowly stepped aside for me to past.
“Che you don’t always have to be a dick you know that right…” a young boy said as he stepped in front of me.
I looked into his eyes and started off again but he grabbed a hold of my shoulder.
“I will tell you think once my foolish friend.” I said lowering my head, “release me or I will fucking slice through you in front of all these people; think about dear old papa and sweet little mama, do you wanna lose them to?”
“I’m not scared of you.” He said tightening his grip on me.
I was just about to snap his hand when a young lady pulled him back. I guess it must have been his sister or something.
“I don’t want you near that boy,” I heard her say as I walked away “he has the mark of the devil on him.”
I laughed out loud as the words filled my ears. I exited the cemetery and hailed a taxi to carry me home. I had a day before my aunt and uncle that I had never met from New Orleans were coming to lug me away to a better life. I relaxed in the back seat of the car and before long the taxi driver looked at me in the rear view mirror.
‘If you don’t mind me asking, is it one of your loved ones that have passed away?” he asked switching from the road to the mirror as he awaited my answer.
“No… no one of importance to me,” I said leaning against the door and let the breeze blow threw my hair “it was just my parents.”
He looked at me for a while and was going to say something but thought about it and I guess he decided not to as he turned and mashed on the gas.
“I’m coming out on Sunrise Avenue,” I said as we neared the corner.
He stared at me for a short while with awe in his eyes and I knew why and I simply smiled to myself. Sunrise Avenue was were all the wealthy people of the county lived. The houses were elegant and magnificent, the children were well mannered and always dressed in expensive clothes and such and their parents were snobby and uptight. He pulled the car to a stop and I got out.
“That will be fifteen dollars eighty-five cents,” he said as he leaned out the window.
I pulled my money out of my pocket and saw that I only have hundreds on me.
“Oh don’t worry I have change,” he said leaning back into the car for his stash.
I sighed a little and pulled a hundred from the bundle and threw it onto his lap and walked away.
“Keep the change and buy some tooth paste,” I said without turning around “you breathe stinks.”
“Fuck you!” he yelled at me “all you rich people act like you’re kings and queens.”
I heard the car pull away but I didn’t care about him or what he said I walked five houses down and started up the stone path to the front door. My parent house was three stories without including the attic; it was one of the largest houses on the block, it was painted bone white with baby blue trimmings, there was a large white fence in front and my mother had hire gardeners to grown her a beautiful rose garden the stretch around the entire yard which gave them a full time job. I sighed as the neared the monstrous house which was filled with unpleasant memories. I opened the door and slammed it behind me, the sound echoed throughout the empty house. There was furniture of the finest quality in every room of the house, even the bath tubs were custom made but it lacked the human component. I walked into the living room and looked around as I remember the last time I had received a beating from my father. He had thrown me against the wall and onto the glass table which broke under me. I saw the shattered remains still lying just as they were the night they died and felt a knot in my stomach. I was expecting a lawyer to past by before the day was done for me to sign for my inheritance before I left for New Orleans so I made my way upstairs to my parent room and kicked open the door. Their room was large and spacious with a huge bed big enough to fit four comfortably in the center, there were large transparent curtains hanging from the bed post and the ceiling which gave the room an elegant and classy touch along with a little mystery. I walked over to the bath room and turned on the hot water and left as the tub filled. I walked down to my room and grabbed my robe, towel and my favorite CD.
I slowly made my way down the hall and I noticed a door at the end of the hall that I had never seen before.
“Huh I’ve lived here for so long and there are still rooms that I don’t know about,” I said to myself as I turned into my parent’s old room.
I walked into the bathroom turned the radio and placed my CD inside turned to my favorite song; Papa Roach – To Be Love. I put the radio on repeat and striped before climbing into the warm bubbly water. The music filled the room and my mind sank into the depths of the rock music. I relaxed into the comfort of the warm water and cleared my mind of any and everything that came across as an annoyance to; starting with the funeral.
“Come play with me,” I heard a voice say from somewhere outside the bathroom.
I jumped up as the chilling childish voice filled the room.
“Who is that?” I asked staring at the door way.
But there was no answer just the radio playing. I quickly got out of the bath tub and turned off the radio but still I heard nothing. I made my way into the room and to no surprise there was no one in there. I walked out into the hall and was about to head down stairs when I remembered the door from earlier at the end of the hall that I had never noticed before. I stopped at the top of the stairway with my hand on the rail and turned and stared at the large wooden door. The house was large and most parts of the house I was not allowed in; my father made sure of that but I had never seen that door before. I hesitated at first but then turned and step by step I edged closer to the room. The silence was almost deafening as I neared the door. I looked over my shoulder almost six times just to make sure that there was no one behind me. I reached forward and glued my hand to the door knob and took a few deep breathes before opening my eyes and prepared to face whatever it was that might be in the room. I had only opened the door ajar when I heard the doorbell ring. I closed the door quickly and headed down stairs without a second thought and opened the door to see a tall sleek man dressed in a brown tux with her black hair slicked back.
“Hello good day,” he said as I opened the door “I’m Edward Jones… I was supposed to come by around this time for you to sign for your inheritance and the insurance money.”
His smile was false and I knew it but I smiled back and asked him to join me in the house. We sat down quietly in the living room as he opened his briefcase and pulled out three stacks of papers.
“Now your father left you a private account that you can’t touch until you are eighteen, so that is off limits but here is the account number and password. Even with those the bank will not allow anyone into the account for another until the fourteenth of November 2012.” He said as he handed me two pieces of paper “now in addition the insurance policy that he took out on both him and your mother adds up to…”
He stopped and read the sentence over and over again before clearing his throat.
“It adds up to a million dollars.” He stared at me for behind the paper and seemed shocked to see that my expression had not changed.
He cleared his throat once more before continuing.
“Also he left the company business which is worth five million in assets and capital.” He stared at me as if waiting for me to speak.
“I want nothing to do with that company. I have never known what my father did for a living and I will not start to care now. I don’t care what you do with it, sell it, fire everyone and destroy it or just run it yourself. You know what I would like you to find out who his number one competitor is and sell it to him and transfer the funds to my private account.” I said smiling.
“And what would you like to do about the house?” he asked looking at the pretty decorated room and ceiling.
“I am going to talk a sum of money and hire a few workers to wrap every piece of furniture. I might have use for this place later on.” I answered as I rubbed my fingers in the soft texture of the couch. “Also I would like the insurance money to be transferred to my own account by the end of the day.”
I wrote my account number down on a piece of paper and handed it to him. He took it stuffed all the papers that I had signed back into his suitcase and stood to leave.
“Your father must have really loved you,” he said before turning and started off towards the door.
“His version of love differs from the norm,” I said laughing as I stood and followed him to the door.
“The money will be transferred to your account within two hours’ time,” he said as he exited the house.
“The sooner would be better.” I stated as I waited for him to turn and walk away.
“Oh and one more thing your mother left you a letter,” he said quickly reopening his briefcase.
He pulled out a large brown envelop that looked like it was written a long while ago.
“Thank you,” I said taking the letter from him and closed the door without another word.
The brown envelop was wrinkled, old and the once smooth texture was dried and hard. I made my way back into the living room and sat down before ripping it open. Despite the condition of the container the letter itself was very well preserved. I slowly unfolded it and stared at my mother’s last words to me.

 
I read the letter a few more times in for the first time in my life I knew what had really happened, I knew why Sam hated me and more importantly I knew what had shattered my mother. I sat there half way to tears but lost in my own soul with my emotions locked away but as I read it over one last time and thought about the suffering that my mother had endured I felt a tear escape and I felt it run down my cheek leaving a warm trail where it past. I looked on as it fell off my chin and splashed on the table. As I sat there entranced by the minute puddle the doorbell rang. I quickly dried my eyes and made my way over to the door.
“Hello is anyone home?” I heard someone ask from behind the door.
“Yeah hold on,” I replied as I opened the door “hello how can I help you?”
I opened the door and saw a short woman in her mid-twenties standing with her hands folded. She had long blond hair, blue eyes and a beauty mark above her lip. She was wearing a blue top, a long black jeans pants and Jordan sneakers on her feet.
“Well I heard about your parents and I know what it is like to lose your family,” she said looking at me “so if there is anything that I can do to help you don’t hesitate to ask. I live right next door.”
There was a long period of silence as I thought of what to say and right as she was about to speak I replied.
“Thank you for your offer,”
I closed the door without another word and made my way up stairs. I needed to lie down, I made my way up the stairs and stared down the hall were the mysterious door was. My heart beat quickened a little and before long I found myself walking down the hall way. I placed my hand on the knob and took a few deep breathes before yanking open the door. I peeked into the dark room and found that there was nothing there, it was completely empty. I felt the wall near the door for a light switch but there was none. I turned and was about to walk away when something on the bottom of the door caught my eye. I knelt down and stared at the door and noticed scratches on the door, they seemed faded with age but they were still slightly visible. I was frozen as I stared at the long scratches.
“I never had any pets,” I thought to myself as I placed my palm on the longest scratch and noticed that it was almost a perfect fit with my fingers.
And that was when I remembered it, I remembered Sam standing over me and yelling before slamming the door. Leaving me trapped in the darkness, I remembered scratching at the door like a puppy wanting to be let out of the house, I remembered scratching until my hands were bloody and raw and until my throat was dry and my voice was horse, I remembered it all in that one instant and at the end of it all then only thing that would comfort me within the confines of the darkness was a sweet, gentle angelic voice on the other side of the door singing to me. It wasn’t my mother’s voice but it wasn’t far from it.
“That fucked up old man use to lock me up in here!” I shouted as the memory flooded my memory “how could I forget something like that? How could I forget that?”
I paced back and forth trying to understand it but it was no use I couldn’t think about a reason as to why I couldn’t remember something like that all along. I threw on my jacket and headed down stairs to the garage. Sam had a brand new Mustang GT park up in the garage; he called it his master piece, he only drove it to special places and other than that it was locked away. I lifted the tarp that covered the beast of a car. Its glossy black body looked fresh off the parking lot, the white leather interior was a beautiful clash to the black body and his favorite part of the car was the twenty inch rims that the car rested peacefully on. I opened the driver seat and eased myself inside. I was never allowed in the car but there was no one to stop me now. I turned the key and the car roared to life, the sound of the engine filled the room. I pushed the button for the garage door and made myself comfortable as it raised allowing freedom to both me and the car. I stepped lightly on the gas and eased out of the garage and as its wheels hit the hot pitch of the street I pressed a little harder and the car shot forward. I took my corners faster and faster as I zoom towards the church.
“The only person who should be able to tell me what is really going on is Pastor Riley.” I said as I shifted the gears.
The car screech to a halt as I mashed brakes in front of the church, as I made my way up the stairs I saw the Pastor leave.
“I need to talk to you,” I said as I neared him.
“After what you just did,” he said walking past me “I have nothing to say to you.”
“I know you know the reason why I can’t remember certain things from my past not answer me,” I said as I grabbed a hold of his arm.
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” he said clenching his bible.
“Oh really then I guess then you didn’t know that I’m not really Sam’s son!” I said raisin my voice.
“How do you know that?” he asked as his eyes opened wide.
“My mother wrote me a letter and left it with the lawyer.” I stated “now answer me.”
“Fine but not here,” he said looking around at the small group of people who stopped to see what was going on.
“We can talk in the car,” I said releasing him.
“What car are you talking about,” he said dusting his sleeve “you aren’t old enough to drive are you trying to get yourself in trouble?”
“I don’t care about what people think any more,” I said as I opened the car door.
“That is your father’s car.” He said as I closed the door behind me.
“It was his car,” I said smiling “now get in I want my answers.”
He walked around the car and quickly got into the passenger side and as he did I started the car and sped off.
“Where are you talking me?” he asked as I pulled onto the freeway.
“The beach,” I said swerving to avoid a car “it would be beautiful around this time because the sun will be setting soon.”
The drive to the beach was a silent one as the Pastor prayed quietly anytime I swerved around a car of truck. When we finally got to beach he was the first one out with his bible pressed tightly to his chest.
“Now why can’t I remember this when I want?” I asked as I sat on the hood of the car and stared out at the ocean.
“When you were a baby your mother and I took you to the hospital because you were slower than an average baby,” he said sighing heavily “the doctors ran test after test but no one could explain it and after about a month the doctors called her and told her that the found the problem. We went back and they told us that a certain part of your brain was developing slower than normal which was causing the problems. He also stated that there would be complications further down in life but they shouldn’t be anything to worry about, that is why when you first showed signs of forgetfulness your mother and I weren’t alarmed as much, we thought that it would go away but to no avail year after year your memories came and went without warming and we grew to live with it.”
“Have you ever told me this before?” I asked as he finished.
“No I have not,” he said turning towards me.
“Why not,” I said as I grew more and more aggravated.
“I didn’t want you to think that you were different, or strange your self-esteem levels were low already and I didn’t want you to start having suicidal thoughts.” I pleaded to me as I slid off the hood and made my way to the driver seat.
“You don’t think that I have those thoughts now, you didn’t think that it had those thoughts when I was being beating day in and day out for no reason?” I shouted as I slammed the door.
I looked over and saw him reaching for the door handle to get it but I slammed down the lock and started the engine.
“How about you think about what you should have done while you walk back,” I said as I put the car into gear.
He was about to speak when I roared the engine and sped away, I looked back in the rear view mirror and saw him standing there as still as possible. It looked like he was praying but I couldn’t tell. Something in my mind was screaming for me to turn around but I ignored it.
“How could he think that he knew what was best for me? Who does he really think he is?” I thought as I pulled onto the on rank for the freeway.
I turned on the radio and lost myself in the music and before I knew it I was parked in front of the house. I pulled into the garage and parked the car before locking up and headed straight for my room. The day had been too much; from burying my mother and step father, to the lawyer, to the letter, the memory and the Pastor… I was completely exhausted.
I just laid there awake looking up at my ceiling and tried to process everything that happened but it was no use and I eventually fell asleep deep in thought.
My dreams were blurred and confusing; there was nothing but darkness and shadows, faces filled with anger, hate and regret.
************************************************************************************
My aunt and I arrived at her home a few minutes later. I got out of the car and just stared at the quaint little two story house. The walls were painted a bone white with blue trims around the house, the door was also painted in the sky blue, the stone walkway was littered with different colour pebbles that gave it that little sparkle, I notice a small garden off to the side of the fence filled with different flowers of different textures, colours and fragrances and right next to the garden was a large oak tree that provided shade for her delicate flora.
“Come on don’t be scared, let me show you the inside,” I heard my aunt say as she took my hand and led me up the stone walkway.
She opened the door and led me into the bight, open lining room that had a warm and comfortable feeling to it, the ceiling was high and the furniture was strategically placed to provide comfort and along with the large fire place it was a little haven. She led me further into the house, we made our way through a small door way and I found myself in the dining room slash kitchen. The only thing that separated the two rooms was a large counter that held all her seasonings. The dining table was large enough to fit four comfortably by it looked as though only two seat were being used. I turned to the kitchen and admired it clean white surfaces that made up the kitchen and the stain-less steel appliances made a beautiful contrast. The smell of cooked food filled the air and that is when I noticed the pots boiling on the stove. Again I felt her tug on my arms drawing me away from the kitchen into a large open room. The room in itself was plain, the walls were painted in a Lavender colour and the only things that took up any space in the room was the large desk that had a brand new touch screen computer, a large book shelf opposite the table and the office chair.
“I thought you could use a room for yourself,” I heard my aunt say behind me.
“This is for me?” I asked as I looked at the simple room.
“Yeah you can use it to do whatever you want,” she replied laying her head on my shoulder “your uncle and I never used it so when I heard what happened and that I would be taking care of you I cleaned it up and bought the computer for you.”
I felt an unsettling tingle in my stomach as I looked over the room once again, I felt the urge to hug her and thank her over and over but I didn’t, I just stood there and stared at the room like a little child going to an amusement park for the first time.
“You don’t like it?” she asked as my silence filled the room.
“No, no I love it,” I replied smiling “thank you.”
“Oh thank God. For a moment there I thought you didn’t like it,” she sighed “later on I will give you some curtains for the window.”
Before I could say anything she was leading me up the stairs to the second floor.
“This will be your room.” She said standing in front a door “I hope you like it, I spent the week trying to fix it in a way that you would like. I remembered your favorite colours and even thought it isn’t really what I like I did it for you because I want you to be as comfortable as possible.”
I opened the door and stepped into a large bed room; in the middle of the room was a large King sized bed that had blood red sheets tucked and folded neatly, the curtains followed in the pattern but with a slightly lighter shade of red, the walls were painted in a beautifully contrasting black, that I believe was heat resistant because the room was unbelievable cool and the colour itself really brought out the red, the furniture was vanished in a beautiful brown that in the light seemed almost red and off to the side were large double doors. I made my way into the room and headed straight for the double doors and pushed them open to see an average walk in closet that already had clothes stacked, pack and hung.
“I hope you don’t mind, I went shopping,” she said outside the door.
I looked at the clothes, some of them I would never had even thought about buying but I was just in amazement that she went thought all the trouble for me. I turned and saw her at the door way with her hands clamped together waiting on my comments on the room, she was biting her lips as she slightly shook her left leg and her eyes nervously shifted around the room as if trying to see what she could have changed or improved. I didn’t say a word as I looked over the room before making my way to the door.
“What’s the matter, you don’t like it, is the colours off, I should’ve have bought the clothes before you came.” She said as she listed problems that she believed were real.
“I love it,” I said as I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a little squeeze.
She stood there in shock as I continued hugging her, I heard her heartbeat quicken as I stood there hugging her and a few seconds later I felt her hug me back. My mother never really hugged me and when she hugged me I realized what I had been missing all those years, the warmth of her touch was soothing and addictive.
“I’m glad that you like it,” she said as she slowly released me.
She continued the tour of the house resume with her bed room, the guest room and lastly the bathroom, the master bath up stairs and the slightly smaller one down stairs. After the tour we made our way back down stairs and sat down in front of the fire place and got to know each other. She asked about school and about the accident. I told her about what the pastor told me and the expression on her face was filled with shock and fear, I didn’t know if it was because of what the pastor told me or if it was because he told me but I just laughed and changed the topic. We sat there talking as the food cooked, she asked me if I would miss anyone and I just sighed and said no before mindlessly stared off into the fire which snapped and cracked as the wood cinders glowed bright orange. The food had finished cooking and was cooling on the counter by the time my uncle arrived. My aunt had gotten up and went in the kitchen to check on the food when I heard the car pulling up into the drive way. I pulled the curtain to see a short well-dressed man exit a silver hybrid car and made his way up the walk way to the door.
“Aunty, there is someone at the door,” I called out to her in the kitchen.
A few seconds later the lock on the door clicked and the man walked inside. I stared at him as he placed his suitcase down on the floor close to the stairway and began untying his tie before turning to face me. He was silent as he stared at me and in that moment I knew that he was the same as the man I was forced to call my father. His eyes were cold and deep and seemed to burn it’s hatred into me.
“Honey could you get in here?” he called out without taking his eyes off me.
“Oh hey honey, you’re home…” I heard my aunt say as she entered the room.
She walked over to him, wrapped her arms around his slightly overweight neck before quickly kissing his cheek like a school girl kisses her father but he still stared at me almost without blinking. The air grew thick as we stared at each other, without saying a word and as my aunt looked from him to me I felt a feeling growing within, the same feeling I had for my dad.
“Oh… this is Che. He is my nephew, remember I told you that my sister past away and that he would be staying with us from now one,” she said walking over to me.
She walked behind me and placed her hands on my shoulder and innocently laid her head on mine as like a teenage girl trying to convince her parents to keep the stray dog that she found and in a way I felt like a stray dog. I have never really felt like I fit in anywhere; I always stood out in schools, at parties even at charities and it seemed as though everyone helped the feeling, pushed it onto me more and more every time they saw me and I knew that he would be no different.