The Pesky Raccoon

The Pesky Raccoon
“I’m sick of it!” Ruff barked as Rangle Tangle raced by once again disrupting everything in his way.
“You said it! I have had it with that raccoon weeks ago. He’s a pest, and I wish we could figure out something to put a stop to it,” E-ow, the huge smoky gray cat with the piercing steel eyes said. Almost as big as the big pet raccoon the family had raised from a baby, E-ow thought that she and Ruff, the shaggy rust colored dog, could certainly come up with a plan to play a prank on the raccoon.
“Can’t think of a thing,” Ruff said as he scratched a flea. “Can’t think of a thing.”
E-ow, irritated by her partner in crime, was a little irritated with that response. “We’ve got to come up with something,” she said, “and quick before I absolutely scratch his eyes out. But, of course, I wouldn’t do that.”
“I know,” Ruff continued to scratch a flea and said, “our owners would send us to the pound for sure. That old pesky raccoon is the ‘teacher’s pet’ around here.’”
“Yeh, you got that right,” E-ow agreed licking her fur as if thinking about a plan.
Ruff went over to his dog mat and lay down in the sun to think. Maybe he could dream up a plan that would do the trick. He heard a noise. Coming around the corner at breakneck speed, Rangle Tangle slid to a stop as he approached Ruff. E-ow arched her back and let out a hiss and a growl startling Rangle Tangle. He dodged the dog and scooted on into the kitchen.
“What’s going on in here,? Julie asked the dog and cat who sat quietly now acting as if it were a perfectly ordinary day. Picking up the very tame and unusually spoiled Rangle Tangle, she said, “Did that old dog and cat scare you?”
“Yeh, right. WE SCARED HIM. You’ve got to be kidding. She always takes his part, and here HE’S the instigator,” Ruff said to E-ow. “I just wish that for once she would walk in and see what commotion he always causes.
“Yeh, me too,” E-ow agreed. “There has never been a peaceful moment in this house since he arrived. I wonder if he is going to stay here forever?”
“And do you know what else he does and is getting worse all the time?” Ruff asked. “Not only does he eat all of my dog food but he picks the bowl up and carries it to his bed. I wish he would leave my food bowl alone. He has his own food. He’s overstepping his boundaries that’s for sure.”
“Well, see if you can come up with a plan,” E-ow said, and I will be in it with you 100%.”
Settling back on his mat, warm sunshine coming through the window, he said just before dozing off, “Maybe I will have a dream about a plan, E-ow.” The big, old lazy dog, scratched another flea and then turned over on his back letting the sun warm his belly. Soon E-ow could hear him snoring. Yes, dogs do snore and that was one of E-ow’s pet peeves about Ruff. Oh, he was a good dog and he and E-ow were great pals, but the snoring irritated her no end.
“Might as well let him nap for awhile. He may come up with a plan that we can put it into action,” E-ow said jumping up on the shelf where she could also take her afternoon nap. Maybe she would come up with a plan also.
When the doorbell rang, Ruff jumped to his feet and started barking. Julie went to the door to find a package delivered by UPS. “Oh, shucks,” Ruff said, “Always someone disturbing my afternoon nap.”
Just then a light bulb came on in his head. An idea. Why hadn’t he thought of it before. Rangle Tangle was always making a mess. He would sometimes upset the water bowl in the kitchen. Sometimes he would get into the garbage can. Julie was always unhappy and ranted and raved over a mess. But what if…what if Ruff and E-ow set him up for the biggest mess ever…
Ruff walked over to the shelf where E-ow was still sleeping. He barked his message to her, and she opened her eyes and sat up stretching herself on the shelf. Looking down at Ruff, she meowed three times. That was the clue that she was paying attention.
Ruff spoke up, “Let’s make the biggest mess ever and blame it on Rangle Tangle.”
“What kind of a mess did you have in mind?” E-ow asked.
“I have a great idea,” he said. “Did you ever notice how that when Julie has pancakes and syrup for breakfast she always leaves the warm syrup sitting on the counter until it cools. And remember how she always leaves the top off?” Ruff asked.
“Yes,” E-ow replied. “and sometimes I get on the counter top and eat some of the leftover pancakes and syrup off of a plate and get the syrup in my whiskers.”
“Well, here’s the plan.” Ruff said. “The next day that the syrup is left sitting out with the top off, you jump up on the counter and knock the syrup off. Then I will grab the syrup and scoot it around all over the floor spilling the sticky mess,” Ruff said. “How does that sound?”
“That won’t make a big enough mess,” E-ow said. “What else could we do?”
“You know how she throws coffee grounds into the trash can?” Ruff said. “Usually she dumps the coffee maker before putting the dishes in the dishwasher. We wait until she puts the grounds into the trash can. If you can get the syrup knocked off the counter, I can take care of upsetting the trash can and spilling everything, then I will drag the coffee grounds all over the kitchen.”
“That should do it,” E-ow said.
“Not quite,” Ruff said. “What about adding all of the tissues that are in the trash can in the bathroom and dragging that down to the kitchen as well? Is that a great idea or what?” Ruff said, proud of himself.
The next morning just happened to be trash day and Ruff knew that the overly full garbage bag would go out to the curb. “Today’s the day,” he said to E-ow. “Today we will set up the biggest mess and blame it on Rangle Tangle.”
“I can hardly wait,” E-ow meowed with delight. “I can hardly wait.”
Just as he expected, the syrup was sitting unattended on the counter with the lid off. It would be as easy as pie for E-ow to jump up on the counter and knock the syrup off. He would grab the plastic bottle and continue to spill it all over the floor, and then accidently drop it into Rangle Tangle’s bed. Then before he was detected, he would turn the trash can over making sure the coffee grounds were smeared around in the sticky syrup. He would run to the bathroom and upset the trash can making sure all of the used tissues were carried up the hallway into the kitchen. Yes, that would do it,” Ruff said with a self satisfied bark. “Now let’s get the heck out of here for awhile,” Ruff said to E-ow.
Mission accomplished, Ruff scooted out the back door and jumped up into the swing. Playing opossum, he laid his head down pretending to be asleep as long as it took. E-ow jumped up on her shelf for a long morning nap. They both hoped that no one would suspect a thing.
Julie screamed. “You bad raccoon. Rangle Tangle what a mess you have made this time. You’re about to leave your happy home. If you do this one more time, you’re out of here! I mean it!”
Rangle Tangle just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong timing. Hesitating just inside the kitchen door, he couldn’t understand the loud, angry voice of Julie toward him. “What did I do?” Rangle Tangle said to himself. As he walked in the room he saw the syrup bottle, he saw the coffee grounds and the tissues strewn all over the floor.
“I better beat it! I’m in deep do do,” he said.
Listening from the safety of their hiding places, Ruff said, “Mission Accomplished.”
E-ow simply purred three times to let Ruff know she agreed.