Speech Impairment and the Fall of Gaming

                   Driving towards home, the slightly bitter tang of copper blood settled on my tongue once again.  This was invariably the worst day of my year to date.  What should have been a simple cleaning at the dentist’s office had become the harrowing experience of having a wisdom tooth extracted.  Despite my protests, the dentist had insisted; so now, here I sit, in my compact car heading to the store to shop for dinner with  my lips  numb, and  gauze packed into the gaping hole that was once a tooth to staunch the bleeding.

                   The trip into the grocery store is uneventful, but by now, my jaw is sore, and the bitter taste of my own blood has made me nauseous.  All I can think of now, is getting home to sit in front of my computer and lose myself in a few battlegrounds in World of Warcraft and wait for our weekly guild meeting to start on the voice over IP server. Yet, another of those things that makes this day seem tedious. Signing on to listen to our  guild leader  rehash events that were pretty much  set in stone, was something that only happened because our guild leader loved to hear himself speak.  At least, that was what I was convinced of.

                   Making it home, I had just enough time to get dinner on the stove, before I had to sign on for the guild meeting.  God, today just keeps going from bad to worse.  My mouth is throbbing now.  A dull ache beginning to grow into an acute and stabbing as the Novocain begins to wear off.  It takes half an hour to prepare the Brisket of Corned Beef and settle it on the stove.  The stock pot filled with water and spices and set on low to begin the long process of preparation. Several times I had to stop, using paper towels as napkins to catch and wipe away the dribble of saliva from my mouth. My dentist was definitely one person not making the Christmas Card list this year.

                   Settling down in my computer chair, it a welcome sigh of relief that parts my numb lips. Today would have been so much better if I had only stayed here. The soft  musical tone indicating I had signed into the server rang from the speakers as I lifted my headset and placed it upon my  head. Well, no obvious discomfort there.  Clicking to enter the guild meeting channel I set back in my seat and press the button to  queue in and speak.

                   “Haf nah feah, I mades it.”  The garbled sound of my speech is enough that even I do a double take.  The Gauze in my mouth worsening the sound as it added a slur to my words.  Just as I am about to queue in to apologize the voice of my guild leader rings out over the speakers.

                   “That’s incredibly rude, Storm.  Apologize now.” It is a well-known fact, that I think  Garr,  our  guild leader is a  complete and total  jerk.  It is also known, that I cannot stand him most days.  The apology I’d been about to utter died on my lips as I lean forward in my seat.  The inner warrior in me rears her ugly head shouting a battle cry as I  reply.

                   “Whaf is your pwablem, Garr? I am nah gonnah ahpwalorgize forah somefing I cahn’t help.” I wince at the slightly drunk sound of my voice.  God, this gauze was going to be the death of me, and then I heard it.  Our newest guild member, chiming in on the voice over for the first time, and  the sound  making me wince as my  lips  all open in  horrified  amazement, realizing why today was not a good day.

                   “Whaht did I eveah do too you, Stowrm?” Oh God,  I  had no clue our newest member  was  suffering a speech impediment.

                   “Nowah, Nowah, swerioosly, I when to da dentis…”  My voice cuts out as the sudden ping announces that I have been kicked off the server. Eyes widening as I watch in disbelief  as the screen throws bright orange text across my chat box in World of Warcraft declaring I have been kicked out of the guild.

                   The next two hours are spent in whispers and private messages trying to explain, but to no avail.  There is no quarter given.  No apologies about misunderstanding. Just a lack of  a guild and people to  play  the game with.


                   Cursing softly, I sign off.  Maybe one day, the same thing would happen to one of them, but for now, the whole experience has soured my mood.  It is time to write instead. It will be a far more constructive use of my time.