Smile

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Changed from the original format to make it easier to read on this websites interface.

All feedback welcome, hope this makes you smile (:


I never wanted to move to this town, my relocation was the result of a father fleeing his cheating wife. That whore was no mother of mine I told myself. I was forced to leave my friends, my school, hell my whole life behind. Isn’t it amazing how your whole world can come crashing down around you, how the life you’ve taken so long to build can be torn apart in mere moments? I left a bustling city, full of life, the kind of place that never sleeps and where do I end up? In a place seemingly stuck in a perpetual coma.

“Don’t worry you’ll get used to it.” My father told me, apparently at fourteen years old I was “adaptable”, malleable to change whether I realised it or not. It’s a shame the same can’t be said for a man of forty three. A mere six months was all it took for the memories, for his doubts and his lack of direction to get the better of him. It appeared his wrists were more adaptable than the rest of him as they took to being open quite readily. I found him of course, bathed in a basin of crimson liquid, blade by his side. The note he left told me everything would be fine, to “keep smiling”. It’s easier said than done, when you’re abandoned by your only faithful parent.

He was gone. This meant that Lucy, the lady that drove my dad to destruction had to come back in to the picture. I told everyone I’d be fine, that I’d rather go in to care then live with her and her latest boyfriend but she insisted on being there for her only son in his time of need. I refused to move, yeah I hated the sleepy streets I was forced to call home but I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of getting her own way. It did me no favours, turns out that because my parents were still married, the house belonged to her.

So they both moved in, her and the home-wrecker. In to the very house where my father took his own life, a result of their salacious ways. The new man, William, resented me so. He had been forced to quit his job, leave his old home, who knows maybe even his mistress. Giving him a taste of the medicine I’d had to stomach was the only thing that gave my existence the smallest hint of gleeful pleasure.

Having to live with them sent me on a downward spiral, hatred built until it leaked from every pore. School was a monotonous blur and the faceless students meant nothing to me there, I didn’t need friends, I didn’t need anyone. Sleep never came easily; I spent my life in a never ending daze, spitting venomous words at anyone who dared to question me. I was given a wide berth, allowed the isolation I desired except for in the one place I needed it most, at home.

A year passed, my pregnant mother grew tired of my endless darkened mood. A fifteen year old boy should be happy, out playing with his friends, experiencing the world or so she said. I told her to mind her own damn business but true to form she failed to take my request in to account. She dragged me reluctantly to a doctor. She wept in the white coats office, crystal crocodile tears. Lucy was claiming that she didn’t know what to do, that I wasn’t healthy and I needed help. I glared at her swollen gut, wondering briefly just whose seed she was carrying.

The doc had just the thing, the perfect solution to all my worldly problems, how convenient. He grinned wide as he handed me the pills.
“Don’t you worry son; these will put a smile on your face in no time.” He assured me in his bedside manner tone. Two in the morning, two at night, those were the instructions he gave. They would balance me out I overheard him say in a hushed voice, depression is common amongst youngsters; things might get worse before they get better.

On the first night she watched me take them, making sure I did exactly as the doctor ordered. I swallowed them willingly assuming it couldn’t make things any worse, synthetic happiness is preferable to no happiness at all.
Uncharacteristically I fell in to a deep sleep; I wandered through darkness, my footsteps echoed through empty space. After the longest time lost in black, a figure emerged in the distance, standing statuesque. I approached the unknown; its head was bowed beneath an obsidian hood. Reaching the shrouded creature I stood in silence. Its face obscured, I reached out to reveal it. Before I could touch its mysterious form a gaunt, clawed hand struck. I awoke in a cold sweat.

Something about the hooded thing made me uneasy, it was just a nightmare I told myself, everybody who sleeps gets those. Under a watchful gaze, I took the pills again, two in the morning, two at night.
The blackness returned, a familiar silhouette lay in front of me. My heart raced, fear consumed what little courage I can claim to possess. It seems so pointless now, to be afraid. Back then I was naive, I didn’t understand so I ran, sprinting as hard as I could in the opposite direction, through a sea of infinite shade. My heart burned with each acidic breath, it was all for nothing, every time I glanced over my shoulder he was a little closer. Then closer still. I stumbled, fell and before I woke the last thing I remembered was a flash of bone white flesh.

The following day I refused to take my meds, I didn’t want the nightmares anymore. I thought he meant me harm. It turns out that William isn’t afraid to use force to get his way, he pinned my frail teenage form to the floor whilst Lucy force-fed me the pills. I felt a choking sensation as I did my utmost to reject the medicine. I kicked, I scratched, I even sunk teeth in to his exposed skin but he refused to release me, not until I had swallowed the capsules. The whole ordeal was repeated later that night, the same shortness of breath, the powerless feeling of having my freedom taken away. I did my best to stay awake but that stuff kept me drowsy, I couldn’t fight off sleep like I used to and I fell once more in to the abyss.

There he was again in the distance, this time he beckoned me forth with a slender, pale finger. My instinct to run over took my willingness to obey and fruitlessly I took off again. The same pattern repeated and I knew it was hopeless, the creature kept getting closer. I stopped and turned to face it. It remained in place like it always seemed to. Cautiously I edged my way towards it, wary of it. I stayed out of reach of his gnarled hands. Suddenly his arm burst forth, I stumbled back in a pathetic display of terror. In his grasp was a tattered piece of paper, he held it out in to space waiting patiently. I slowly crept back to my feet. Panic began to take a hold but I fought it, the claws around the ragged letter looked menacing, so I snatched the paper as quick as I could, never taking my eyes off the bowed head of the thing in front of me.
I unfolded the letter hesitantly, scrawled on it in a coppery hue were these words.
“You really need to smile more.” Upon reading them I looked back at the hooded messenger, he raised his head revealing his pale face for the first time. Deep scars ran from his lips to his ears, he smiled at me with an ever present grin, thick red stitches stretched in elegant crosses over his wonderful smirk. He wore a blindfold, truly embracing the darkness of his world but it was then that I finally realised it was I who had been blind. He wasn’t a monster who meant me harm, he just wanted a friend. I just wanted a friend to.

From then on I took the pills willingly, each and every night visiting my new found companion; he was always so joyful it was utterly infectious. We conversed in whispers, I told him everything and he kept all my secrets. Things got better, I wasn’t so unhappy anymore. My little sister Grace was born, dragged kicking and screaming in to the world and bearing witness to the miracle of life made me appreciate my own all the more. I even convinced my new friend to come with me outside of the dark place, he was always there watching over me, keeping me company. I excelled in school, he watched me work from gloomy corners as teachers praised me for being ever so intelligent. When I was around the house he always looked out for me, he would make sure nothing bad ever happened to me. We were constantly together, completely inseparable and life was perfect.

We reached the day of my sixteenth birthday; everything seemed fine in the beginning. I took my pills like I always did and he was there as I opened my gifts. Everything was great. That evening though things took a sudden turn, I was sat in my room with my friend, bathed in his comforting shadow when I heard the shouting downstairs. We both went down to investigate because we do everything together; we hid behind the kitchen door and listened to mom and Will arguing. I don’t know what a “placebo” is but Will was screaming about how at my age I shouldn’t need one. Mom was disagreeing, telling him that it was all that was keeping me happy; I knew that wasn’t true though, it was my friend that made me happy. Their dispute continued and eventually it wasn’t just about me anymore.

I heard Will hit mom because he’s not afraid to use force, she sounded upset so I looked through the crack in the door. Diamonds ran down her face and she looked very sad. Gracie sat wailing in her high chair, why was everyone so miserable, was it all because of me? This thought made me miserable, I didn’t want to make anyone unhappy. I wore a frown that I hadn’t had to wear for a long time but my friend kept his grin, knowing we could make things better. He whispered, reminding me that I should smile more and I knew exactly what to do.

I rushed back up to my room excited about making everybody happy again. I went to my bed and crawled underneath it through the dust, all the way to the back. No one knew that I kept fathers knife, I didn’t let anyone know apart from my friend because he was the only one I could trust. I pulled the piece of wood away from the wall and the blade was hidden behind it, it still had stuff on it but it didn’t matter. The screaming beneath my feet continued, I told my friend that they just had to hold on a little longer and I would make it all fine. I had to go in to the bathroom first to make sure I got my smile just right. I did it very well; I made it just like his. Then I went downstairs and I made everybody happy with me. Mommy and Will, even little Gracie is smiling now. I felt very good about it, I knew I’d never be sad again!

My friend told me that I had done well, he said not to worry.

With our help, the whole town will be smiling soon.