Black Lotus Blues

Lea knew this day would come.

         If she could take this all back and prevent this, she would. But she could not.

         Two lovers, one decision. Lea dreaded this moment, but there was no turning back.

         She got up and smoothed her long, billowing white dress. Taking a deep breath, she strolled down the long, dank, and forlorn corridors of her Georgian home outside St Louis. As she prepared for what was to come, she recalled how this whole mess started 3 months ago on a Monday, 2 days shy of her sister Esmeralda’s wedding.

         Her father insisted that she bring a date since she was a bridesmaid. Lea had been over this with her folks since she was 14. After 1 too many bad first dates with her mother’s friends’ sons, Lea swore dating off until after college. Besides she was way too busy with her sophomore year. 2 days later, he arrived.

         His name was Ryan Woodcrest, son of a prestigious oil baron from Kansas City. Tall, Roguish, and his charismatic good looks (smoky green eyes, kissable lips, olive- toned skin, and all)  would make Paul Newman and Marlon Brando look like choirboys. It was only after the wedding reception that he and Lea would meet.

         “Hi, are you the sister of the bride?” he asked standing over her table,

         Lea looked up from her chicken cordon bleu and spinach salad, wondering about the man’s gall of bothering her. “Yes. Who are you?” she asked suspiciously. Of all the nerve, she thought.

         “Ryan. You must be Lea. You looked lovely in your smoky mauve gown.

         Lea hid her smile as she sipped her apple cider, deciding against wine. “Thank you,” she said, lightening up her tone.

         One month and a few dates later, Lea and Ryan were inseparable. Ryan treated Lea with respect and was amazed that she could dance ballet without any lessons needed. Lea liked his booming laugh, though she wondered about his mysterious past. One night, after coffee at Mama Jay’s, Ryan gave Lea an unusual and surprising gift, a single lotus. Only this lotus was night black. “What a very surprising gift, and exotic too,” she said, smelling the flower’s smoky and aromatic scent. “Where did you get this from?”

         “From a friend who lived in Morocco,” he said. “Glad you like it. Can I ask you a favor?”

         “What?”

         “I’m going away with my father on business. Can you hold on to this lotus as a token of my return and trust?”

         Lea smiled. She had already gained his trust. “Yes,” she said her almond eyes dancing.

         But one week later, Lea’s eyes moved from Ryan’s return to another man. She had wondered yet never remembered how good looking her schoolmate friend Ian Horne looked. He had definitely gotten his mother’s good genes, from his wavy blonde hair to his shimmering blue eyes to his good-natured personality. And his smile would melt even the heart of an Ice queen.

         Lea gave Ryan her word that she would wait for him; yet she feared that he would never return. She had no other choice but to rid of the flower and give up on Ryan. That night, dressed in only her favorite red dress and heels, she invited Ian to her house and gave in to temptation.

         Ryan came home and found them in her bed.

         Oh, the accusations were cruel as ever. Harsh and venomous words were thrown at each other; tears shining and fragile as diamonds fell and china was shattered all across the bedroom. After 2 whole hours, both men had calmed down, but only after they agreed to give Lea a demand to make a decision on April 23rd, her birthday to choose which one. That left poor Lea in a horrendous state as she dropped to the floor tears seeping down her delicate cheeks.

         Two months passed, and here Lea was about to accept and confirm her decision. Oh, how the choice was not easy as she lay on her bed during the previous months and thought about both the men that she truly loved: the mysterious and provocative Ryan and the playful innocent Ian.          And she was afraid to lose both and break their hearts.

         How cruel would it be if she chose to break Ian’s heart as she chose Ryan? She dreaded his reaction as she thought numerous outcomes from a tearful moment to suicide and a very irate mother that will probably threated to slander the Whitfield’s family name. Lea did not want that to happen to him or her own family.

         But Lea dreaded the thought of standing by Ian and leaving Ryan to the curb. Lea knew that Ryan was very two-sided; easygoing one moment then angry and untamable the next. What would happen if she chose Ian instead? Would her threated to kill her family? Her beloved? Her? Would her go to great lengths to prevent her and Ian to be together forever? Lea tossed and turned as she fitfully slept her dreams being invaded with thoughts of Ryan killing everything she loves including her own life.

         Would it not be easier for her to commit suicide and end such disaster? But it would bring more disaster to her family if they knew if Lea did the most taboo thought of all. It would disgrace the entire family and all of St Louis would gossip for eternity.

         And yet, the broken hearts, the horrendous probabilities and the threats of death were way worse than what she feared the most.

         Lea thought about every possibility down to a science ad asked a lot of questions. What if she still held out for Ryan? What if she hadn’t met Ian? What if she decided to stay single? She knew that the outcomes would’ve changed but meeting them or any other 2 men would bring her to this point still. It was unavoidable and heart wrenching but she had made her decision and she had not looked back.

         The doorbell rang. Lea jostled downstairs and went to the door. One final check of her auburn curls and makeup before giving herself a small pep talk and she would be ready. “You can do this, Lea. You have made your bed, now you must lie in it,” she said to herself. Taking a deep breath, she gripped the doorknob and opened the door.

         “I’m glad you came over. I chose you,” she said with a small smile.

         "And I am glad. Too bad it has to end this way, love. You broke my heart, now I’m breaking yours,” her caller said, pulling out a revolver.

         It was the last thing Lea heard before 2 shots rang out, ending Lea’s life before she even knew it. Before the man left he placed one single item on her chest to show the officials who killed her. It was a black lotus. “A token of my love that you have betrayed. Take this with you to your afterlife,” he said before taking off into the night.

         As Lea lay dying, she knew that this was her fate, she had played the game a little too well and that her punishment was justified. She only wished she could redo all of this and made things right. She played the game of fate and lost.

         Little wonder she hated dating.