Caffeine and Love (Rough draft)

Authors note: The italic is a flashback, in case anyone was a little lost.

Caffeine and Love 2.0

Another sleepless night for Jackson. His thoughts haunt him, what's worse; his dreams haunt him even more. And no, they aren't nightmares; they are possibly the best dreams he has ever had in his life. Dreams of her. Dreams of Rose.
Jackson's eyes pierce the ceiling as he lies in his bed, fighting back memories, fighting back tears. It has been a while since she left, but it seems like just yesterday to him. He still remembers her smell, her laugh, her touch. He cannot get the image of her face out of his head no matter how hard he tried; no matter how tightly he shut his eyes. She was there. Always. All of those little things that they had done in the past, all of those adventures that weren't really adventures but actually walks in the park or on the beach (but they called them adventures anyways), they all came rushing back. There was not a moment in the day that he never thought about her, and that doubled at night. He could watch as much T.V. as he wanted, but that only delayed the flashbacks, as he called them. Oh yeah, as soon as that episode finished, they came back twice as much, and twice as hard. It was almost easier just lie there and think that to drown it all out and be hit by a train later, but he did it anyways.


"Come on! Take a picture with me!" Rose called out, as she tried to drag Jackson closer to her. He was not really the type to take pictures, on account he did not like how he looked in them, but Rose! Oh how she loved to take picture; pictures of anything, anyone, but her favorite was Jackson. That drove him crazy. He loved her though, so every now and then he'd take a picture, just to see her smile.
"Fine! Fine! Quit pullin'!" Jackson replied as he leant in closer to get in the picture. There was a procedure that went on here. First, he'd make a silly face right before the picture, second, she'd make him smile (which he reluctantly did), and third was usually a kissing picture. Sure, it was cheesy, but it was them. "Happy now? Or do we need to go take the same pictures, just in front of something different?" He teased as he pointed over to a tree.
"Oh ha ha. Very funny. Just for that, yes we do! Now come on!" Rose laughed as she grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the tree to repeat the process.


Those were some of Jackson's favorite moments. She had the best smile in the world, and an even better kiss. Thinking about it brought a smile to his face, but also tears to his eyes. It seemed like the sweeter the memory, the sharper the hurt.

Jackson peered over at his clock. 4:30 A.M. A lot of people would be rising for work soon, but in Jackson's case, he was hoping that his eyes would become too heavy for him to keep open soon. Another hour passed, still no luck...
"Guess now is as good of time as any to get up." He muttered to himself as he swung one leg off of his bed, quickly followed by the other. He rose to his feet and rubbed his eyes, as if he had actually gotten sleep. His steps were slow and heavy as he made his way to his fridge to see if he could scrounge up anything to eat. Cooking was never his forte. In fact, one of the last things he and Rose did together was cook a meal. By no means was it a gourmet meal, but a meal none the less.


"Oh come on, babe! You're already up!" Jackson called out to Rose, pleading her for a sandwich.
"Get off your lazy butt and get it yourself." Rose replied with an irritated tone. "You're always getting me to make you food. You know, one day I'm not going to be here for you and you'll have to do this yourself!"
"Yeah, and when that day comes I'll learn, but for now I'd really love it if you could make me a sandwich. Nothing fancy, just pb&j will do." This mindless banter went on for what seemed like minutes before Rose finally gave in and made the sandwich. She gave him a hard time about it, but really didn't mind...Most days.


Jackson pulled out some eggs and proceeded to fry them as best as he knew how. He lied that day, when he told her he'd learn to cook. The best he could do was cereal and eggs for breakfast, and if he was feeling daring, mac and cheese for everything else. At this point in his life he didn't really care for food. The lack of sleep mixed in with the occasional drink made it very difficult for him to really enjoy good food, so what was the point?

The sun was peeking through the overcast sky by now. It was still early, but the sun made sure to remind Jackson that there was still a lot of day left to face, whether he liked it or not. His days all seemed the same. Wake up, well get up, eat, shower/shave/etc., go be a mindless drone at work, come home and lie in bed. Repeat.

"Jackson. Jackson!" His coworker called out to him. Could have been four or five times before Jackson realized.
"Oh, what? Sorry." He replied, looking up from his blank computer screen.
"Did you see the game last night? Lakers dominated!"
"Um, no. I was busy. That and I don't like basketball." Jackson blank stare as well as his completely monotone voice was more than enough for his co-worker to take the hint to get out. Jackson wasn't entirely lying. He truly did not like basketball. Seemed like a pointless sport to him. Run up the court, shoot, run back down the court, defend shot. It was a waste of time in his mind. But, then again, almost everything was a waste of time in his mind at this point.

Five o'clock, quitting time. It seemed like his day was full of idle conversation, and blank stares. He wasn't even sure if he talked to anyone aside from the guy who asked about the game. What was his name? Mark? Gary? Oh well, it didn't matter to Jackson, just another face in the crowd that he was forced to sit next to.
Jackson grabbed his coat and his lunch pale and headed for the door of the office building he worked in. Time to go and be too busy to do anything interesting by lying in bed.
"Yo! Jackson! Wait up!" Mark, or Gary, or whatever his name is, called out to him as he hurried to catch up. "What are you doing tonight?"
"Probably just going to have a quiet night. It's been a hectic week for me." Jackson lied, trying his best to avoid eye contact and any sort of indication that he was interested in doing something with whatever his name is. He failed.
"Oh, sweet man. Anyways, there is this new bar downtown and me and some of the people from work were going to check it out!" Mark/Gary said as they walked towards their cars. "Now, I know you don't really get out much, and that's cool, but this place is supposed to be crazy tonight!"
"I'll think about it." Jackson replied with no real intention of thinking about it at all. His idea of a good time was not going to some hip new bar with a bunch of jackasses he barely knew just to get drunk out of his mind and make stupid decisions. No, in fact, his idea of a good time was lying in bed and trying not to drown himself in emotions and tears, like he did every night.


"Hey, while I'm gone you might want to try and go out for once and not just sit in front of that T.V. playing games or whatever you do." Rose said as she packed the last few things she needed for her trip. She was going to see family and would be gone for a week.
"Yeah, okay honey, I might do that!" Jackson retorted sarcastically. He had, in his mind, a very poor perception of society. It wasn't his fault, it was everyone else’s fault for being so stupid, or so he told Rose.
"Seriously! Go have some fun with some of the guys from work! How many times have they asked you out?" She was right. They asked almost every week, and every week Jackson came up with some bullshit excuse to get out of it.
"Okay! Okay! I'll see if they are up to anything this week. Happy?"
"Very! Now give me a kiss and walk me to the door. Or the other way around, I'm not picky."


“I see you everywhere.” Jackson says as he holds a picture of Rose in his hands. “It’s not fair. No matter where I go, there you are. It only makes me miss you more.”
Jackson lets out a sigh and falls backwards on his bed, pressing the picture to his chest. His mind racing, recalling all the times that they had together. As if her ghost following him around wasn’t enough, but he also had all those memories there as well. The good and the bad.


They just sat there, in silence; neither looking at the other. The anger, frustration, and over all sadness in the air was almost too much to take. Jackson opened his mouth to say something, but shut it before he did. He knew that if he did say something, it would come out angry and hurtful, so he sat there some more, trying to get his thoughts together.
“This is bullshit!” He finally said, still not looking over at Rose. “This whole thing is complete bullshit! I just…I can’t…It’s ugh!” He tried to put his thoughts into words, but nothing would come out right. He hated feeling like this; like shit. He wanted so much to just hug and kiss and make up with Rose, but his pride, and stubbornness just wouldn’t let him, and that’s what was making him feel the worst.
“You think I like this?!” Rose retorted, shooting a look over at him. “You think I like feeling like crap? That I like fighting like this?”
“I didn’t say that! See! This is the problem! You’re always putting words in my mouth.”
“Well, you made it seem like that’s what you though! Maybe if you ever told me what you actually thought I wouldn’t say stuff like that.” The tension in the air was getting thicker by the second. Neither of them were going to back down, neither of them were going to give in.
“Whatever, Rose. I need time to myself.” Jackson replied as he opened the door and got out before Rose could say anything. He slammed the door and walked away, trying his best not to look back, because if he did he knew he’d turn around and go back to her. He couldn’t do that, not this time…