Rambling Manic-Depression

These are the times when I think about being productive.
In an hour adrenaline will set in.
In two I'll be whizzing.
By three I'll forget.
Tomorrow I'll sit around

There is so much I want to be.
So many abilities I wish I had.
Millions of minds I wish were mine.
Haven't found what I really need.
Slept once in a week.
A woman lent me a hand.
I folded mine and turned away.

We sat for hours.
Everyone was asleep.
She talked and disclosed.
I listened and pretended,
like I always do.

Writing vigorously all one day.
I got out a page and a half.
Think about all my wishes.
Forget what I just did.
Did it matter anyway?

We lay all night long.
I made her laugh and smile.
The sun rose just in time.
I was tired of pretending,
just like everyday.

That time again.
Gotta do this.
Have to do that.
Wear this because everyone else is.
Drink that because they said so.
Ok, why not?
My opinion matters as much as the next.

We held each other for a minute.
She asked about me.
Told her to leave.
Look in the mirror,
And pretend to smile,
like always.