Finding the Right Words

My forehead is creased up from the concentration but I've got to tell you this now. If I don't, we both know I might never get the chance again
because you're not the type to linger or look back once you've made up your mind.And I like that about you, I like how you can say everything
you need to in less than two sentences, you can sum up just about everything and everyone in that space.

My words get jumbled and fall over each other and I can see the irritated look on your face as you start tapping a well manicured nail on your crossed arm as if each tap kills a bit of me that you had left in you.

In desperation I look around the room for something - anything that might drag out the moment a second longer so I could get my thoughts in order.

" A drink! - Would you like a drink?"

I see that twitch above your lip when you want to yell, jump suddenly and I know I shouldn't have asked. You hate drinking , or rather you hate it when I drink - wasn't that why we ended up here in the first place?

But I need to tell you -- everything -- because you are everything it's just that I can't show you how much I'm desperate to have you next to me.
I can't be functional or all the other adjectives you deserve but it's real what I feel for you.

It's become the most sane thing in me when I see your face on the pillow next to mine.
It was more salvation than all the meetings you made me go to that stank of stale cigarettes and tasted of cold, bland coffee. You're real. You're the only thing that keeps the nightmares away. Nightmares about a time I can't think back on willingly.
I see you picking up you're bags, you're small suitcase still has that sticker you stuck on it with the purple lips parted in a teasing grin.
It's leering at me now , it's smug taunt telling me that it's over as you retreat from me , you're back held high and you're heels sounding out the end of us.