The Heart Key

Where is that key? It is the key to my wife's heart. I normally keep it here in my safe, but last night was poker night and I got it out to show my buddies. I guess I should back track through my inebriation to the exact moment I got it out...

It all started when Brad, poor Brad, asked me, "How do you do it?", after my wife brought us sandwiches and drinks.

"How do I do what?" I responded, already knowing what he was inquiring about, because I was watching the way he accepted the drinks and watched her go around the table, then it was just after he watched the door close behind her when he asked.

"How do you keep her in line the way you do?" This brought out a chuckle from Jeff, who was staring at his cards intently and even a smile crossed the lips of our newest member to poker night, Chris Jenson.

"Well, let me show you fellas," Taking a bite from my sandwich, putting it back on the plate, I stood up, prompting Jeff to, reluctantly, take his eyes off his cards and put them face down, and pick up his own ham and cheese. I exited my den, the place where all of our weekly poker nights took place, and went into my office where I kept my safe. I removed the key to my wife's heart and returned, I sat back down before holding up the key by the chain I kept it on, "This here is the key to her heart, with possession of this I can command her to do anything just by thinking it. Earlier I ordered us sandwiches and beers just because I wanted them."

"Whatever," Chris said, finishing his sandwich and slamming down his empty beer mug, "Then get me another beer!" He looked at me smiling, then sat back in his chair and gave a fleeting glance at both Jeff and Brad before returning his gaze back at me.

I looked back and forth between Jeff and Brad too, and asked, "How about you two, need anything?"

Brad, who had lost his wife in a terrible car accident last winter, said, "Sure, that key," then, laughing, "No, I am fine, let's finish this hand."

This excited Jeff to jump in, "Yeah, come on man, lets finish this hand."

And at that, my wife walked in with a fresh mug of beer and walked immediately to Chris removing the expended mug and replacing it with the one she brought in.

This act brought about a whole new atmosphere in the room. I could tell there was astonishment at what just happened. "Well, fellas? I inquired of the amazement in the room.

Chris was dismissive about the act, "Oh, that was just coincidence," He stated.

"I guarantee you it is not, my friend," Chris was a co-worker at my law firm, he started there about two months ago, we instantly kicked it off, and, after permission from the other two in our group, I invited him into our poker group.

More dismissive was Jeff who said, "Come on, guys, lets finish this hand," which actually, I was the next to call in the hand and my call would determine if the hand went any further.

Brad just sat there in amazement for a moment, then picked his hand up from the table, then remember he folded and put it back down, looking at me, "Yeah, what is it?"

I looked around the table, all eyes on me, I picked up my cards, "Alright, I am all in," I shoved my chips into the center pot.

"What!" Jeff exclaimed staring back and forth from his hand to me. There was a long pause. Finally, Jeff threw his cards down, he was the last one in, besides me, "I fold... but... man."

I threw my cards face down, reached out to grab up the pot, exciting Jeff further, "What did you have?"

I said, "Ah, you will never know, friend."

"What the heck, man. I had three queens, ace king high!"

"You are a queen," snickered Brad.

"Shut up, B Rad, ya idiot, I want to know what he had," Jeff was glaring at me.

"Hey, you folded face down, maybe next time you will fold face up and I will do the same, I promise, besides, you really do not want to know what I had."

"Well, I know what you don't have," He glared, "That precious key!"

I fumbled around a moment, he was right, where did it go? At that moment my wife came in with a round of shots on a silver tray, I had to quit looking for the key, I didn't want her to know anything about my possession of her. She handed out the shots and each of us held them up to toast. She waited while we toasted, returned the empty shot glasses to the tray, then she exited the den.

Then that is when everything went fuzzy...
... Where is my wife anyways?

Monday, if I return to work after my wife being gone all weekend, I will ask a more important question which might answer my first question, not the one where I ask about where my wife is, but the one I initially asked, where is that key, because the question I will ask, whenever I return to work will be this, "Where is Chris"