When I Cry To The Heavens I Can't Reach

In Bangkok where seagulls fly into summer suns, guns fire at midnight and ricochet off anyone standing near-by. Kiss your eyelids good bye as you watch the blackness that surrounds your dreams. Quietly wishing that you were here to see me fly off into the open waters where no one can tell me who I am. Sleeping underneath the stars, which whisper sweet nothings into my ear and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I don’t believe them deep down but my desperate soul soaks up their loveliness and basks in them from dusk ‘till dawn.
He screams in my ear to force me to wake up but instead I head towards the light, attracted like a mosquito to a lantern. My eyes close as I watch the pain go by every day, almost unbearable. I barely wake up as the sun comes up; I just lay there, staring blank holes into the ceiling, filling myself up with liquid armor to prepare for the battle I fight every day.

Crying myself to sleep just as the winter sun becomes covered up with blankets of snow.

Screaming with no voice at the sky, asking, no, begging for it to take me back to the places that had once held love for me. Hoping that someone will come to sweep me away from all of my troubles and tell me that there will never be any more harm in my life. Closing your eyes to everything that hurdles into your path, you want to be swallowed whole while everything you loved comes crumbling down to your knees. Yet all you do is stare as the world is set ablaze. Yet all you can do is whisper to yourself that this horrible dream will be over when you open your eyes and that all that you saw will be erased from your memories. But the present is the only gift you’ll ever have.