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Rated: 18+ · Prose · Emotional · #1920561
Thought and images.
The day you left i stopped breathing. I crept silently into my neighbor's shed and stole a shovel. I wanted to bury memories. Instead i ended up making a grave for myself, without even thinking.
I lie in my grave, with no tombstone, no casket, just damp soil around me and look up at the sky. I am no longer among the living, my heart is beating no more, my lungs don't take in the air, only my eyes are alive. Clouds are moving swiftly from one corner on my grave to another, sometimes the rain leaves drops of water glistening on my face, once even a bird set on my leg to snatch a worm that wriggled it's way through the wall of my new home.
I didn't bother covering my grave, i wanted to see the moonlight every night for as long as my body is intact, for as long as my eyes remain alive. My dead fingers are closed around the last thing i hold dear, only part of you i have left, the tiny vial with your blood i wore around my neck. It shall forever be with me, for as long as my body is here, waiting for you.
Every night, though i am deaf, i hear my soul screaming in agony, torn apart by merciless claws of memories. They are like demons, tormenting me constantly, letting the last of my blood out through the bite marks and gashes left by them in blind fury, in never-ending lust for my pain. They thrive on it, feed on my blood and tears.
I lay there, silent, and look up at the people passing by. No-one ever stops to put fresh flowers on my grave, they think i am still alive. Must be because they see my eyes moving. Amidst life i am in death. If i could i would have laughed at how pointless it all is, but i am paralyzed, blood is still in my veins, my heart is shattered and can't function anymore. I feel nothing but pain. Do i even remember what it felt like to be happy? I must. For how else i am to explain hurting so bad. I would not be in so much pain if i remembered nothing, if i missed nothing.
Day after day and night after night i lay in the deep grave that i intended for my memories. I look at what little i can see from it, i hurt, i cry silently and without tears, my soul screaming out your name, calling for you. But you never come...
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