I wish I could recall myself, me when I was younger, prior too all of this. Before my surgery's before my past happened. I Wish I could remember me. Was I happy like I am now? Was I sad? Was I too weak too unknowable too young too even understand what feelings were? What feelings are? Did I realize what death was or is? Not just death of a person, death of a soul, death of a relationship, death of sadness, happiness, strength, or weakness? I wish I could remember everything, not everything, but everything big that has ever happened to me not just the good, but also the bad.
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