The Best Trip Ever Dad

The Best Trip Ever Dad
On February 15th I received a text from my sister Kim who resided in Massachusetts; "Gary, Kurt is in the hospital with a blood clot. He's doing okay, but he mentioned he'd like to have a family reunion."(Kurt and I grew close as he battled with paranoid schizophrenia in his younger years. He had been deathly sick a number of times in the last ten years. He recently was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I wanted to see him while he could still remember me. We shared a close bond that I looked forward to rekindling.)

"When would you like me to come for this reunion?"

"Any time you want." (I did my homework and February 27th was to be the date of departure from the Kansas City Airport, returning back on March 5th.) (This happened to be the week I was to start a new job delivering pizza). My lovely wife Sharon got me ready to go. We were on a limited budget, so it was decided I would go alone. I would need to depend on family back East for lodging and transportation. I was looking forward to seeing the whole family (minus my deceased father) for the first time in over ten years.

Everyone in the family was all excited: "Gary is Coming Home". You'd have thought I was coming home from some overseas assignment. A lot had happened in those ten years. The last time we were all gathered was for Dad's funeral. A few months after that I was hospitalized back in Kansas City for being suicidal. The psychiatrist said I had been put on the wrong medicine, which activated traumatic memories. Not long after that I was divorced, the church I pastored decided to close its doors and I was unable to find a church that was willing to accept divorced status. I survived by working minimum wage type of jobs to pay off debt and child support. I remarried six years later and my three children by my first marriage were adults beginning to have families of their own. Most recently I have been entertaining hopes of returning back into pastoral ministry.

I was aware that there would be tensions and conflicts. I was the oldest of eight children and even in our youngest years it seemed like we were always fighting about something. I had three brothers and four sisters born in alternating couplets. The married siblings gave birth to twenty-five and counting nephews and nieces, many I would be meeting for the first time. I looked forward to seeing all of them. There would be more than enough to keep me busy for the six days I would be there. Kim would be making all the plans. She was a Caregiver and Nurses Aide to the elderly and disabled. She decided to take on the challenge of getting to the airport to meet me on time. This had yet to be done in all my airplane travels home prior to this.

I made it to the Kansas City airport on a cold blustery morning. There was so much snow and ice that the plane had to be de-iced before take-off. As they were doing it I flashed back to when my brother-in-law in Texas was doing this as a project to get through grad school at Kansas University. We had been close before he succumbed to cancer in 2003. I could feel his spirit comforting me as we lifted off. I was very sure that by God's grace I would make it to and from the airport safe. I had been in constant touch via text as I got closer to Logan airport. I arrived at Boston Logan at about one-thirty, an hour and one-half behind schedule. Praise God, I was finally going to be reunited with the whole crew. My sister Lori was the first to greet me. Lori and me had always been real close. She was the oldest of my four sisters. She hardly looked like she was over fifty. She had just had a haircut and her short reddish hair made her look like Mom when she was younger. We got my luggage and off we went.

I had lunch at Kim's house; Lori had to go home to get ready for nursing duty that evening. After lunch we went to the house we all grew up in Whitman, Massachusetts where I would stay with Mom. Mom was all of five feet with dark hair. She set the world on fire with her humor; the class clown in her younger days she was loved to entertain her children and grandchildren. She greeted me with a big hug and kiss. I could officially say that my journey back home was beginning. I took my stuff up stairs to the same room and bedside I slept in when I was a child. For the first night Mom and my stepfather Ken would be the master of ceremonies. Spaghetti was on the menu and everyone was invited.

Kim and I went to pick up Kurt. I felt closer to Kurt than anyone in the family due to our mutual struggles with mental health issues. We were less than a year apart. He had been through a lot in the ten years since we had all been together. He had graying short black hair. His teeth were jagged with empty spaces in between. We met him at the group home he stayed at. What a shared hug! When I hugged him I felt love emanating in and through us. The brothers were back! Kim and I agreed that we never knew what to expect with Kurt. In the past and present Kurt was known for leaving as soon as he got uncomfortable. I would not take it personally if he got up and left if things got too stressful for him. We were off to Mom and Ken's house, the rest of the crew filtering in as the feast was finding its way to the table to the delight of one and all that were able to attend. The first dinner was an event for all the brothers and sisters. Mom's home was too small to accommodate more than that. My youngest brother Glen was the only one not in attendance for our first get together. He was in a group home in Fall River and there were rumors that he might decide miss out on the fun; he felt inadequate due to the fact he had not married and sired any children like my brother Craig and I.

The smell of pasta and red sauce filled the room. Agendas were being set aside for one week. The persons born to Gordon and Blanche Peterson were finally getting together for a reunion and nothing was to get in the way of it. Craig was the first of the siblings to arrive. He was rather heavy set, with a mustache and black peppered hair. He had been unemployed three months and it was making him feel crazy. Soon after Lisa entered all grins, hardly looking like a mother who had given birth to four children. She had a graceful gait that accompanied her long blonde hair and a Swedish dimple. This girl had gotten in shape. She looked a lot different from the last time I saw her. My youngest sister Melisa would bring up the rear. She had a beautiful smile, brownish hair and seemed always ready to lend a hand. She was the mothered more children that the others. She had five boys. Her husband David made a special Portuguese dish that was like corn beef and cabbage with cod taking the place of the corn beef. I did my best to eat bits and pieces. What is a person to do if their stomach doesn't like food cooked from the heart? We would be at Melisa's for Chicken tomorrow night. Each sibling was going to have an opportunity to share a food dish during our time together. The highlight of the trip was to be a tennis match with my brother-in-law Glen Dudley. It had been planned for many weeks. I looked forward to the challenge of putting my reputation as a good tennis player on the line.

I decided to talk with by Brother Glen in the morning:
"Hey Glen how are you doing? I am looking forward to seeing you while I am in Massachusetts."
"That would be great Gary. I just have to figure out how to work the medications. They are forever after me to take my meds. I could swear they are trying to hurt something or me. I would like to go somewhere else to live, but ever since I trashed my apartment in Brockton nobody will listen to me."
"We will come over to Fall River to work something out with your staff. It will be good to see you again."
"All right Gary-it will good to see you too. Just tell mom and Kim that they will need to work out something with the visiting nurse" (It went a lot easier than I thought; maybe we would all get together after all.

My sister Lori had just got through with her nursing graveyard shift all smiles frolicking into Mom's house looking forward to a good time with her big brother.
"Did you sleep good Gary? Did you know Mom will not even let me go into one of the rooms upstairs? I think she is afraid that I might take something.(Lori had a reputation of taking away what she saw as "junk" which she did in the best interest of the various family members she felt called to help) Where is all the chocolate and goodies? Ken, my mother's husband arrives with the victuals. He married my mother several years after dad died. Ken had a distinguished white beard and mustache which matched is graying hair. He likes to make my mother laugh. "Here you are Lori enjoy."(according to Mom this was an ongoing weekly tradition) (I was glad I could be witness to this ritual-I felt like I was on holy ground).
"How would you like to try some of the nutritious food David gave me?" (it is a dish he made especially for me, kind of like pot roast with cod as the meat) (She takes one look at it and turns her nose up at it)
"No, Gary I like the chocolate better. It gives me just the boost I need to get me home. David made it for you Gary. (For somebody who just finished work, Lori was wired.)

Soon after in would come my brother Craig and my sister Kim.

"What do you think of the itinerary I've got planned for you Gary?" (Kim hands me a notebook of planned activity for the week)
"It sounds great to me. It is just what I need; lots of fun, food and time to enjoy family."
"And when you go back to Kansas City I want you to write about this trip and get it published."

(Kim continues to lead the conversation) "Lori we need to get Craig ready for a job interview. He is a typical Peterson man he needs help." (They pepper Craig with questions he might get asked in his interview. All he knows to do is answer as best he can and roll his eyes.)
"It's time to go get Kurt Gary. Then we will meet Mom and Lori in Plymouth so you will get to eat your fish at Lobster Hut."(I loved fish, especially lobster.)

On the way to get Kurt we stop by Dad's grave. It was the first time I had been to his grave since he died. The date at the grave site was February 27th 2002. (I was deeply moved, near tears) (Dad's funeral was the last time we were all together). "Thanks for taking me out here Kim".
"I just wish we could afford a stone. I drop by with flowers when I can. Mom put that statue of an angel next to his grave. I guess it’s the best we can do for now" (Off we go to see Kurt--his home is a short distance away.)

Much more happened in the other days that followed. I did get to eat my fish (a lobster roll!!I Other food entrees included Mexican, nineteen pizzas that my sister Lori bought to feed siblings and their families at her house, cold cut deli type food and many of my other favorite foods I grew up with. Mom and us kids gathered for family pictures taken at a Chinese Restaurant near where Glenn lived. I got to see almost all the kids and grand kids of my brothers and sisters. Glen, my youngest brother with balding blond hair was even willing to part with his social security check to give me a reason to come back again. On another day I got to see rail thin friend Brian, my best friend from school days. All petty squabbling was put aside. The only thing that mattered was that we were together.

The tennis match did happen. I was glad for opportunity to play. A few days before I had watched his ten year old son Noah play in a basketball tournament. His team won. I was amazed at how good kids could play at that age. Noah was one of the stars. We spent a lot of time playing doubles and then I played two out of three games with Glen Dudley. He won handily. I could barely get my serve in and he was in much better shape. The best man won. It was great to see everyone growing up. I was no match for my much younger nephews in basketball. But wait till next time!!!

I remember two weeks before Dad's death coming all the way from Kansas City with my wife and kids to see him. It was more important to see my dad alive than wait for him to die and then go to his funeral. His same spirit called out from the grave with a grin on his bald head; "I'm okay, I have had a good life, I am going home." I was glad to come home to see Dad and the rest of the family. There were lots of laughs; pictures of us all gathered together, a mother's tears; a witness to the life's priceless treasure. May the same love that brought us together bring us back together again. Thank you God my Father for the best trip ever!